Lie to me

i hate cock.

HATE IT!

god there's nothing that turns me off more than having a cock right next to my face. makes me want to vomit. i have to talk myself out of retching every second that i'm giving head. just thinking about it makes me ill.

*shudder*

cock is DISGUSTING.

i love you too.

lie to you? ok
my dick is 12 inches long
i'm the greatest lover you'll ever have
i can give myself head
my tongue is 13 inches long
my name is dav
i live at home
i'm a mechanic

ok only one of those is true but i can remember which one

There are girls lined up around the block to have a turn at me.
"get in line bitch!"

-x

has anyone said "I'm fine" yet?

I do not find Dia attractive
I Love Fords
I'm an excellent guitar player
I hate the taste of beer
Avril Lavigne is punk the the bone
I wish Johnny Cash never recorded a note
Elvis is dead
I love my father

i know you all love me.

I wasn't going to get Cash a Xmas present, but now I am!

I'm short, petite, blonde, small-breasted, and tan.
I can't stand SG.
I hate Johnny Knoxville.

I don't smoke, drink, or do any drugs.
I eat only the healthiest of foods.
I always get a good night's sleep.

I eat nothing but Liquid Paper.
I shit nothing but marshmallow Peeps.
My mom is the pope.
My Dad runs the Illuminati.
My goldfish, Stu, is the anti-christ.

you sonofabitch! this was all an elaborate scheme by McQueen to get me to say "I Love Fords", wasn't it?

Mental note...stay the FUCK away from saintgomi this Easter

I'm head of an underground infiltration group hell bent on disbanding the New World Order by going to extremes to infiltrate various exclusive societies.
My top officers are the cast of That 70's Show. I gave one of our female officers a sex change on my kitchen table, In hopes that she would be excepted into the Masons. John Wayne's First name used to be Delilah.
(I can tell you that because this post is equipped with a fine powder that will seep through your monitor and block the synaptic gaps that lead to your short and long term memory.) Michael Jackson was my head officer and was injected with a chemical compound I invented called SummerSnow477. He was supposed to infiltrate the KKK but it backfired horribly, so to counteract the horrible deformity we caused, we made him a superstar singer by blending the soundtracks of an orgasm, an angora yak bleating, and a 6 year old set of fraternal twins named Jimmy and Janna. I mixed them on a recording device I made from a Cure cd, a Better Homes and Gardens magazine, and a bag of white cheddar popcorn, thus creating the worlds greatest superstar.

[Edited on Dec 09, 2002 by thegirlieshow]

Tito and Jermaine will hunt you down for revealing that information to the masses ... they're CIA, you know.

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

AH! But like the proverbial girl scout we are always prepared. We have Jermaine in our operation nook disguising him to look like one of Tito's children. The one's that formed a group called 3T in 1995. He will go to Tito's house and hide yak testicles in his peach cobbler that our minions had prepared for him a week earlier. Upon eating and discovering the testicles he will DIE of embarrassment and will be written off as conjunctive heart failure. Buwaha...

[Edited on Dec 09, 2002 by thegirlieshow]

Mary Kate and Ashley live in my cellar. I feed them nothing but Slim Jims and Mountain Dew. They're filling out quite nicely.

Saget and Coulier stop by from time to time, but never Stamos because he's a homo.

Say what!!!
a '72 Commando in the LA underground?
Gotta' luv those Nortons!


-x

*whispers* your balls are showing.

You will all bow down before the wrath of Stu!

I have had more adventurous, creative and dirty sex than Dia could ever even think of in her tiny little enclosed existence.