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Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

JUN 02, 2005 12:37 AM

International sex symbol Burt Reynolds fucking slapped a guy at a premiere of the remake of his 1974 comedy The Longest Yard. The guy, an assistant producer for Newspath (a division of CBS) asked Burt about the movie, who asked him if he had seen the original, then slapped him when he admitted he hadn't.

*slap* What the hell kind of guy are you? The guy's never seen the friggin original... he asked me to tell him about the picture... he's standing here in a shirt that, needs ironing... and this man works for CBS... I'm just, I'm embarressed. I like the guy, he's a nice guy, he's a tough guy, he wants to hit me now, he can't because he's under contract. But we'll meet later if you want.


Burt Reynold's publicist Jeff Lane, ignoring that the entire thing is available on the internet, released this lie:

He playfully tapped him on the cheek, as if to say, 'Well, that's not very nice not to have seen the movie.' He was kidding.


Witnesses expressed shock that Reynold's hand didn't explode in a cloud of mummy dust.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUN 02, 2005 12:38 AM

That's because Turd Ferguson is the King of all Cool. And you don't fuck with an OG.

[Edited on Jun 02, 2005 by mamet]

Deux

Deux

Oak Grove, KY
January 2003

JUN 02, 2005 12:39 AM

...witnesses were further stunned when Smokey took Reynolds into custody for Aggrivated Battery.

Olivia

Olivia

STAFF

Oakland, CA

JUN 02, 2005 12:41 AM

I see you're following Christopher's title directives.

MistahPrince

MistahPrince

Chicago, IL
February 2005

JUN 02, 2005 12:52 AM

That's just too funny...

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

JUN 02, 2005 12:53 AM

I don't know if I'm more disturbed at Burt Reynold's up and slapping a guy or the line "International sex symbol Burt Reynolds".

And now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to flog the dolphin to my newly signed Loni Anderson poster.

BrokenHalo

BrokenHalo

Minneapolis, MN
December 2004

JUN 02, 2005 12:58 AM

*Sings "Cold blooded."*

[Edited on Jun 02, 2005 3:04AM]

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUN 02, 2005 12:58 AM

theSpotlessMind said:
I don't know if I'm more disturbed at Burt Reynold's up and slapping a guy or the line "International sex symbol Burt Reynolds".



Are you telling me this isn't a sexy guy?!



Au contraire.

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

JUN 02, 2005 01:04 AM

Olivia said:
I see you're following Christopher's title directives.



It's been augmented.

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

JUN 02, 2005 01:06 AM

mamet said:

theSpotlessMind said:
I don't know if I'm more disturbed at Burt Reynold's up and slapping a guy or the line "International sex symbol Burt Reynolds".



Are you telling me this isn't a sexy guy?!



Au contraire.




Well, he ain't no Hasselhoff, that's for damn sure!

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUN 02, 2005 01:06 AM

theSpotlessMind said:

mamet said:

theSpotlessMind said:
I don't know if I'm more disturbed at Burt Reynold's up and slapping a guy or the line "International sex symbol Burt Reynolds".



Are you telling me this isn't a sexy guy?!



Au contraire.




Well, he ain't no Hasselhoff, that's for damn sure!




love love love

chezui23

chezui23

New Zealand
October 2002

JUN 02, 2005 01:08 AM

Im secretly hoping for a wave of reporter slapping to outbreak after this latest incident biggrin

cthav

cthav

USA
August 2004

JUN 02, 2005 01:10 AM

theSpotlessMind said:
I don't know if I'm more disturbed at Burt Reynold's up and slapping a guy or the line "International sex symbol Burt Reynolds".

And now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to flog the dolphin to my newly signed Loni Anderson poster.



Totally weird. I have never ever seen her name ever mentioned before, ever, until yesterday on a p2p. Now here.

alkalinenerd

alkalinenerd

Santa Cruz, CA
September 2004

JUN 02, 2005 01:16 AM

Incase you haven't seen Smokey and the Bandit or have been living in a cave for the last 40 years, Burt Reynolds can do whatever the fuck he wants all the time.

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

JUN 02, 2005 01:17 AM

It's important to watch the actual video, so you can see Burt Reynolds attempt to be a badass then backtrack almost to the point of wimpering. frown

[Edited on Jun 02, 2005 by Jeff_Fries]

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

JUN 02, 2005 01:34 AM

weird little speech he gave there. surreal

JacobRock

JacobRock

Brooklyn, NY
April 2005

JUN 02, 2005 02:25 AM

theSpotlessMind said:
And now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to flog the dolphin to my newly signed Loni Anderson poster.



I now have a significant contender for new favorite masturbatory euphamism. The currently reigning champ is "roughing up the suspect." Off topic, sorry, but you never know when/where you'll find these jems.

Burt is definitely OG.

Skeksi

Skeksi

Chicago, IL
December 2003

JUN 02, 2005 02:29 AM

Hahahah, where's Posh at?

hollascottmoney

hollascottmoney

The Colony, TX
September 2002

JUN 02, 2005 02:50 AM

alkalinenerd said:
Incase you haven't seen Smokey and the Bandit or have been living in a cave for the last 40 years, Burt Reynolds can do whatever the fuck he wants all the time.



I want this on a shirt..or a mug.

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

JUN 02, 2005 03:00 AM

edit: to journal

[Edited on Jun 02, 2005 by theSpotlessMind]

Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

JUN 02, 2005 03:13 AM

Haha, someone is being followed by too many kiss asses, I wonder if burt realizes the original probably came out before that guy was born. On another note, is that really what those guys you don't see wear? That is pretty embarassing, I always pictured people in suits.

trucksandtrains

trucksandtrains

Ottawa, ON
December 2004

JUN 02, 2005 03:22 AM

awesome smack. go burt.

anger_frog

anger_frog

I'm lost
January 2004

JUN 02, 2005 03:23 AM

Burt gots a strong pimpin' hand!

NatasKaput

NatasKaput

Bozeman, MT
December 2002

JUN 02, 2005 03:24 AM

who does he think he is Rick James?

[Edited on Jun 02, 2005 by NatasKaput]

anger_frog

anger_frog

I'm lost
January 2004

JUN 02, 2005 03:25 AM

NatasKaput said:
who does he think he is Rick James?

[Edited on Jun 02, 2005 by NatasKaput]



If he thought that, then he would've followed up by burning him with a crack pipe.

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