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Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 07:52 PM

I never knew that friendship was such a competition. I wasn't informed that I could only be accepted if I went to high school with you or if we had such great memories. I never knew that if you couldn't talk shit about me you couldn't be my friend.

I thought that all that mattered was a common ground, if even that. I thought that spending time with you would be enough. I thought that laughing and sharing experiences would suffice.

I don't know what I did to deserve such shitty friendships throughout my life. I'm sick of just acquantinces, I'm sick of being "friend of the week". I don't want to be "alone" anymore.

I've never needed truer friends than I need now in my life. They don't seem to exist and I'm getting tired of trying, tired of looking.

What am I doing wrong? I'm so sad and torn up by this.

Please, someone help me understand...

SillyZebra

SillyZebra

Los Angeles, CA
September 2003

JUN 01, 2005 07:58 PM

i know what u mean...

Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 08:01 PM

Baaah, that doesn't help...at least we have something in common tongue

Yuriel

Yuriel

I'm lost
January 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:02 PM

Sofia said:
I never knew that friendship was such a competition. I wasn't informed that I could only be accepted if I went to high school with you or if we had such great memories. I never knew that if you couldn't talk shit about me you couldn't be my friend.

I thought that all that mattered was a common ground, if even that. I thought that spending time with you would be enough. I thought that laughing and sharing experiences would suffice.

I don't know what I did to deserve such shitty friendships throughout my life. I'm sick of just acquantinces, I'm sick of being "friend of the week". I don't want to be "alone" anymore.

I've never needed truer friends than I need now in my life. They don't seem to exist and I'm getting tired of trying, tired of looking.

What am I doing wrong? I'm so sad and torn up by this.

Please, someone help me understand...



At least I am not alone......
I wish I could help frown
EL SUICIDO LOCO

emptymouthpiece

emptymouthpiece

I'm lost
May 2005

JUN 01, 2005 08:02 PM

I am KNEE DEEP in the exact same issue. BUT being told you aren't alone in BEING alone is sort of well......just sad.

I think I'm going to the Zoo this weekend.

-C-

aegies

aegies

Oakland, CA
June 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:04 PM

whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there. is this sg friendship drama, or real life drama?

DrStinkypants

DrStinkypants

Saint Paul, MN
October 2002

JUN 01, 2005 08:07 PM

ya i know what you mean. i dont really get the whole friends thing.

i think that is just how people act about friends after high school. its like, they want friends, but they dont? or they want a really specific kind of friend?
i dunno, if you figure it out you let me know. blackeyed

Saltine

Saltine

Baton Rouge, LA
March 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:07 PM

it has been my expierence that "true friends" do not exist. every one wants something and mostly people want to hang around people who are similar to themselves. it's the whole clique mentality and that never goes away. i am sorry that you are having troubles and i am sorry that you feel that you are alone. you are not doing anything wrong and you really need to understand that. look at it this way which is what i have been told about this same subject by other people, you will find what you are looking for after you stop looking. i know that is kinda crappy advise but that is kinda my motto. i personally am tired of trying also and that is what i keep telling myself because i don't really know that i have ever had a real friend and being alone really does suck. if you need someone to vent to someone you can vent to me.



tomahto

tomahto

San Bruno, CA
June 2003

JUN 01, 2005 08:08 PM

Sofia said:
I never knew that friendship was such a competition. I wasn't informed that I could only be accepted if I went to high school with you or if we had such great memories. I never knew that if you couldn't talk shit about me you couldn't be my friend.

I thought that all that mattered was a common ground, if even that. I thought that spending time with you would be enough. I thought that laughing and sharing experiences would suffice.

I don't know what I did to deserve such shitty friendships throughout my life. I'm sick of just acquantinces, I'm sick of being "friend of the week". I don't want to be "alone" anymore.

I've never needed truer friends than I need now in my life. They don't seem to exist and I'm getting tired of trying, tired of looking.

What am I doing wrong? I'm so sad and torn up by this.

Please, someone help me understand...




::hug::

I'll be your friend. smile

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

JUN 01, 2005 08:08 PM

I hate to say it, but I think the older you get, the harder it is to find real, true friends, not just acquaintances and casual friends. The advantage to getting older is that things like what high school you went to or whatever seem to matter less when forging real friendships.

I know what you mean though about being sick of acquaintances. At this point of my life, I only really like hanging out with my few true friends -- people I know that will be there for me no matter what and vice-versa. Anyone else I'm not wasting my time with. Sure, it sometimes gets lonely to just do that, but honestly when I'm around casual friends I still feel lonely -- I just appear not to be. So what's the point to be around people like that?

And I don't think you should think about it as what are you doing wrong. You're probably not doing anything wrong. I think some people are just deeper than others. You're probably one of those people. And since most people don't have the patience to swim all the way to the bottom to find the pearls (i.e. really take time to get to know the value of someone), it's their loss, because they're probably missing out on your friendship smile

Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 08:09 PM

aegies said:
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there. is this sg friendship drama, or real life drama?



real life drama

i don't know very many people from SG, either. hahah. maybe that'll change after this

KMFCM

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY
September 2002

JUN 01, 2005 08:09 PM



the title "best freind" is a pretty high pedestal to put someone on

i no longer use it

[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 by KMFCM]

TheSeadog

TheSeadog

Reunion
September 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:10 PM

Well, I'd offer to be your friend, but Campbell. CA is a long way from LA, and I don't like any of my friends enough to make that drive. whatever

xgenehawk

xgenehawk

USA
December 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:11 PM

ok, anyone who is repplying to this thread and who has fewer than zero best friends for not fault of their own should form our own clique , we shall call it the League of Friends Unlimited... if only we weren't so far apart geographically ...

dAHMER

dahmer

South Vienna, OH
OLD SKOOL

JUN 01, 2005 08:12 PM

I know how you feel. I don't have any friends any more, and it was pretty painful to lose them all, but I'm dealing with it these days. You have my sympathy.

[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 by dAHMER]

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

JUN 01, 2005 08:12 PM

WoW ruins all my friendships.

tomahto

tomahto

San Bruno, CA
June 2003

JUN 01, 2005 08:13 PM

I think I just got denied. confused

Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 08:15 PM

Saltine said:
it has been my expierence that "true friends" do not exist. every one wants something and mostly people want to hang around people who are similar to themselves. it's the whole clique mentality and that never goes away. i am sorry that you are having troubles and i am sorry that you feel that you are alone. you are not doing anything wrong and you really need to understand that. look at it this way which is what i have been told about this same subject by other people, you will find what you are looking for after you stop looking. i know that is kinda crappy advise but that is kinda my motto. i personally am tired of trying also and that is what i keep telling myself because i don't really know that i have ever had a real friend and being alone really does suck. if you need someone to vent to someone you can vent to me.



I've pretty much tried that too but I just end up being "unsatisfied", sorta like a space is still missing.

DrStinkypants

DrStinkypants

Saint Paul, MN
October 2002

JUN 01, 2005 08:15 PM

tomahto said:
I think I just got denied. confused



the burn of all burns

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

JUN 01, 2005 08:16 PM

I've never had very good luck with this either. I've got too little time to play petty games. However, perhaps like in romantic relationships, you need to discover your pattern. If you tend to be drawn to similar people and they are not working, perhaps you could look elsewhere. I have four (maybe 3--one I'm not completely sure about) people who I know would be by me no matter what went down. And I am absolutely nothing like these people. But it's seemed to work. I think that once you figure out your trend, perhaps you can make meaningful friendships. Of course, I could be talking out of my ass. I hope all works out though. smile

Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 08:16 PM

tomahto said:

Sofia said:
I never knew that friendship was such a competition. I wasn't informed that I could only be accepted if I went to high school with you or if we had such great memories. I never knew that if you couldn't talk shit about me you couldn't be my friend.

I thought that all that mattered was a common ground, if even that. I thought that spending time with you would be enough. I thought that laughing and sharing experiences would suffice.

I don't know what I did to deserve such shitty friendships throughout my life. I'm sick of just acquantinces, I'm sick of being "friend of the week". I don't want to be "alone" anymore.

I've never needed truer friends than I need now in my life. They don't seem to exist and I'm getting tired of trying, tired of looking.

What am I doing wrong? I'm so sad and torn up by this.

Please, someone help me understand...




::hug::

I'll be your friend. smile



Okie!! kiss You even live close to me. Wee.

Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 08:17 PM

TheSeadog said:
Well, I'd offer to be your friend, but Campbell. CA is a long way from LA, and I don't like any of my friends enough to make that drive. whatever



Wow. What a good friend you are. Pssch.
Maybe I can change that??? EHH?? HUH HUH?? (I meant the travelling part not the bad friend part, haha)

[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 by Sofia]

Sofia6969

Sofia6969

HOPEFUL

San Jose, CA

JUN 01, 2005 08:20 PM

mamet said:
I've never had very good luck with this either. I've got too little time to play petty games. However, perhaps like in romantic relationships, you need to discover your pattern. If you tend to be drawn to similar people and they are not working, perhaps you could look elsewhere. I have four (maybe 3--one I'm not completely sure about) people who I know would be by me no matter what went down. And I am absolutely nothing like these people. But it's seemed to work. I think that once you figure out your trend, perhaps you can make meaningful friendships. Of course, I could be talking out of my ass. I hope all works out though. smile



When I was in high school I was friends with people that I would've never imagined I'd be friends with. Now that I look back upon it the only thing we had in common was high school, itself. As far as romantic relationships, I tend to make my partner my best friend which is ultimately bad because of the breaking up factor and the pressure for them to be my love and best friend. Right now, I can pretty much say that my sister, my mom and dad would/will be the only ones who will stand by my side no matter what (which isn't a bad thing but they don't completely understand me and they're kinda old).

Yuriel

Yuriel

I'm lost
January 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:20 PM

Louisiana is further and I'd endure greyhound. And thats just for a friend.
And hell shes pretty. Alas I don't think shed be willing to tolerate dating any schmucks like us wink (hell i cant tolerate me as an imaginary friend!)
*bump*
because I felt like it.
EL SUICIDO LOCO

auralpleasure

auralpleasure

Mountain View, CA
February 2004

JUN 01, 2005 08:25 PM

Sofia said:

TheSeadog said:
Well, I'd offer to be your friend, but Campbell. CA is a long way from LA, and I don't like any of my friends enough to make that drive. whatever



Wow. What a good friend you are. Pssch.
Maybe I can change that??? EHH?? HUH HUH?? (I meant the travelling part not the bad friend part, haha)

[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 by Sofia]



He'd make a good friend. I'd try him.

I'd also be your friend, especially if TheSeadog was your friend. And I'm way closer.

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