How do you get crows to shut the fuck up?

Cut the tree down .... be thankful its not buzzards.

Throw a cat of them.

pussy. that's not even atomic.

Crows are intelligent and also make for great BBQ. I'd recommend shooting and BBQ'ing as many as you can get ahold of. The aroma of the smoldering meat will serve as a warning to the other crows, and soon they will begin to migrate elsewhere. I told you there were smart. Tasty, too.