what's the stupidest thing anyone has ever said t

Late at night, burning a collection of CDs of classical music. My friend sitting across from me suddenly gets excited. His face lights up like he just cracked cold fusion. He reaches for me and says, very dramatically, "BRAD! Wouldn't it be awesome if we had cars powered by...GAS!!" He meant to say "trash." It has become a running in-joke.

[Edited on May 25, 2005 by mamet]

"Nooooooo - that's just metal forks - not metal knives"

This was logic from my dad after I watched him jam a metal knife into his bagel that was still IN the toaster BEING toasted and told him that he could get electrocuted or shocked.


"Just go half way around on the stationary bike - it will boost your leg muscles"

That one was from my physiotherapist who was rehabbing my broken knee cap. One half rotation later, my knee was split in two again.


"Microsoft Works"

That came from some really dorky rich guy.

I don't know, but I've had at least 10 people over the years make fun of my grammEr.

Usually something like "wow you're grammer is horrid!"

"I expect you in at nine o'clock sharp."

"This company cares about its employees."

"We are eliminating the culture of blame."

"We value your feedback on how to make this a better working environment."

If any of these sentences come out of your mouth without a trace of sarcasm then you have officially become an asshat! Congrats!

Junior year of high school girlfriend.
I was telling her about my trip to Florida and she asked me if I went over the border into Mexico. I then proceeded to eat my own head.

"Who cares if I spit or Swallow, the point is you got to Cum and I didn't"

Famous last words from a friends Ex-girlfriend right before he gave her pink-eye

-C-

"what's a continent?" from the mouth of a friend, who was SERIOUS. she had heard of continents.. but didn't know what one was. Let alone that there are 7 of them!

"what's dry is in your mouth"

"Slide your dick into Silvia Saint!"

"I thought dogs and animals had sex in the anus, to get pregnant." I swear to god she was like 24 years old! I got the impression she thought they didn't have vaginas. LOL!



[Edited on May 25, 2005 by Digipunk]

A continent is a person who doesn't have troubles with not pooing their pants, right?

Really - there are only seven of those in the world huh? Dizzam - I'm one of them ... right? At least I thought I didn't have troubles with keeping my undies log free.

"whoops wrong hole"

Oh, I forgot this gem!

"AOL top speed"

...standing outside a convenient store, the payphone starts ringing, I answer it:

"Dude I'm in jail, can you come bail me out?"

me (not knowing who it was): "what did you do?"

"I got busted for weed"

me: "you'll be released on your own recognisance when you see the judge"

"can you come pick me up?"

me: "no"

guy hangs up...

So you like tattoos? They are real right?



[Edited on May 25, 2005 by CircusFreak]

"I voted for a Republican"

I had a counselor in high school that tried to convince us that the earth was 60,000 years old and dinosaurs never existed. A few dumbasses actually believed her! Obviously, she was a Christian.

Long time ago, I told this customer that her movies were due at noon and she asked me, "Noon in the morning or noon at night?"

There lots and lots more, but I'm cranky and need a nap so that's all I can think of right now. I may re-edit later.

actually... if you look it up... on m-w. com continent is..
3 entries found for continent.
To select an entry, click on it.

Main Entry: 2con·ti·nent
Pronunciation: 'kän-t&n-&nt, 'känt-n&nt
Function: noun
Etymology: in senses 1 & 2, from Latin continent-, continens, prp. of continEre, to hold together, contain; in senses 3 & 4, from Latin continent-, continens continuous mass of land, mainland, from continent-, continens, present participle
1 archaic : CONTAINER, CONFINES
2 archaic : EPITOME
3 : MAINLAND
4 a : one of the six or seven great divisions of land on the globe

so... technically I was not incorrect..although your argument was very funny.


[Edited on May 26, 2005 by sakita]

Yeah, sorry about that. Someone else had to use the phone.

(In the UK)

"Oh, I'm not political, I'm a Conservative."

oh the absolute worst thing anyone has ever said/asked me, was...

"England is in London, right?"

i swear to Dog...

“Excuse me sir, you know your fat don’t you dear?”


I love dumb customers at work.

On the theme of stupid customers and the use of the term fat.

My coworker Kelly is kinda chubby, but hey, that's life. She's ringing some people up and my other coworker Gabby decides to open her register to ring up some people to make the line go down. This guy jumps on her register and says to her, "Yeah, she's so fucking slow. See, that's why she's fat, she's too slow. You're skinny, see?"

Blank stares all 'round.