Boards > Lifestyle > NEWS: You Know, So Everyone Can Kiss Your Ass

LyloniJade

Madison, WI

May 2004

MAY 04, 2005 02:04 PM

Fuck coffins. They are expensive. I Like the plant fertilizer.
I wonder how they smash up the bodies after the freeze drying...

Elisabeth

Atherton, CA

December 2002

MAY 04, 2005 02:07 PM

G1 said:
so like in the UK this whould be greated with open arms
were good at being in a long line and queing for eterity when alive

so dead is fine by me

Hahahhahaha, this is really really making me laugh for some reason.

A friend in the UK told me about the NHS lines....

Telltale

USA

May 2004

MAY 04, 2005 02:21 PM

This is a great idea. I've always wondered how I would be buried, and I like this idea a lot.

TBSheets

I'm lost

December 2004

MAY 04, 2005 02:21 PM

i've read too many threads. i keep wondering if it's ok for cows headed for slaughter to eat grass fertilized by decomposing vegans.

piracy

Whitwell, TN

January 2004

MAY 04, 2005 04:36 PM

whats with the flash-freezing and all that processing?

i want to be eaten by worms, maggots, moles, etc. and planted under a fruit tree.

fertilization the old fashioned way.

Miel

Goleta, CA

October 2004

MAY 04, 2005 04:38 PM

But you're supposed to be buried with your feet to the east so that you can rise when Jesus does...

allergic

Saint Petersburg, FL

October 2004

MAY 04, 2005 05:49 PM

well why don't we just drop dead on the pavement and let the buzzards pick us fucking clean? it won't "inconvenience the earth" if we drop on it as birdshit will it?

jackalnoir

Raleigh, NC

January 2005

MAY 04, 2005 05:55 PM

allergic said:
well why don't we just drop dead on the pavement and let the buzzards pick us fucking clean? it won't "inconvenience the earth" if we drop on it as birdshit will it?

It will if I'm under it, and I'm carrying a large vial of nitroglycerin, and I drop it. If your corpse by way of birdpoop kills me, I will somehow haunt your ghost forever.

SomethingStupid

North Hollywood, CA

March 2004

MAY 04, 2005 05:58 PM

Baise said:

Idjiit said:
This is why I have it stipulated in my will that I'm to be whipped into a frappee and drunk by my remaining relatives.

Mmmmmmmm...protein. *slurps Idjiit*

This does not sound right at all.

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

MAY 04, 2005 06:03 PM

TedKoppel said:

Baise said:

Idjiit said:
This is why I have it stipulated in my will that I'm to be whipped into a frappee and drunk by my remaining relatives.

Mmmmmmmm...protein. *slurps Idjiit*

This does not sound right at all.

You're right. I'm not too high a source of protein. But I'm a great source of fiber considering I consist of about 95% bullshit.

Please Don't Bury Me

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please dont bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, Id druther have em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they dont mind the size
Give my stomach to milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get em out of here
Venus de milo can have my arms
Look out! Ive got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to rose

Repeat chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Dont pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
Its a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat chorus

allergic

Saint Petersburg, FL

October 2004

MAY 04, 2005 06:28 PM

in_a_blue_state said:
Take it from John Prine:

Please Don't Bury Me

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please dont bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, Id druther have em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they dont mind the size
Give my stomach to milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get em out of here
Venus de milo can have my arms
Look out! Ive got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to rose

Repeat chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Dont pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
Its a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat chorus

this makes me want to kick john prine in the face whoever the fuck he is.

zenFish

Vancouver, BC

August 2004

MAY 04, 2005 08:51 PM

FreakPirate said:

Idjiit said:
This is why I have it stipulated in my will that I'm to be whipped into a frappee and drunk by my remaining relatives.

I'm having both of my hands removed and preserved so that I'll be giving two specifically chosen friends the finger for the rest of eternity.

okay, that's pretty classy, and I laughed.

crushjunkie

Vancouver, BC

October 2003

MAY 04, 2005 09:00 PM

I guess I'm more of a traditionalist in this respect. I would still prefer being buried in a coffin - horizontally. Though I would make my coffin of pure, decomposable wood, with no stains, lacquers or plastic. And also, why are people in Australia worried about land use? I would understand if this was Japan...

dem_z

United Kingdom

June 2004

MAY 05, 2005 02:03 AM

Australia seems to be big enough to not have to worry about land use? (Although there's that great creepy graveyard in Sydney between Bondi and Kuji, just before (or after?) "Shark Point") which is looking a bit full now.

I also mention the Stiff book, it's fantastic. The 'liquid cremation' ("But, you're boiling people in lye!") part is excellent, and sounds like something I'd be happy to have done to me.

skryche

New York, NY

January 2003

MAY 05, 2005 07:47 AM

You're welcome to bury me standing up from the neck down, but I'm planning on getting my head frozen.

Who's with me?

DannyDMc

Fargo, ND

July 2003

MAY 05, 2005 09:56 AM

allergic said:

in_a_blue_state said:
Take it from John Prine:

Please Don't Bury Me

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please dont bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, Id druther have em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they dont mind the size
Give my stomach to milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get em out of here
Venus de milo can have my arms
Look out! Ive got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to rose

Repeat chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Dont pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
Its a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat chorus

this makes me want to kick john prine in the face whoever the fuck he is.

John Prine kicks ass. Actually he just came out with a new album

Siv

SUICIDEGIRL

District Of Columbia, USA

MAY 05, 2005 10:10 AM

Al said:

Hepburn said:
but then, if the cows ate from the cemetary land... and then people ate the cows...

OMG ITS A FUCKING STEVEN KING NOVEL.

Might that happen no matter which way people were buried?

But this way they would eat THE BRAINZ FIRST!

LazyAssedSmurf

Winnipeg, MB

February 2005

MAY 05, 2005 12:49 PM

Damn...I was hoping we were goign to adopt the rituals in Logan's Run.

FAWK!

Hussein

I'm lost

March 2004

MAY 05, 2005 04:03 PM

allergic said:

in_a_blue_state said:
Take it from John Prine:

Please Don't Bury Me

Woke up this morning
Put on my slippers
Walked in the kitchen and died
And oh what a feeling!
When my soul
Went thru the ceiling
And on up into heaven I did ride
When I got there they did say
John, it happened this way
You slipped upon the floor
And hit your head
And all the angels say
Just before you passed away
These were the very last words
That you said:

Chorus:
Please dont bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, Id druther have em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they dont mind the size
Give my stomach to milwaukee
If they run out of beer
Put my socks in a cedar box
Just get em out of here
Venus de milo can have my arms
Look out! Ive got your nose
Sell my heart to the junkman
And give my love to rose

Repeat chorus

Give my feet to the footloose
Careless, fancy free
Give my knees to the needy
Dont pull that stuff on me
Hand me down my walking cane
Its a sin to tell a lie
Send my mouth way down south
And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat chorus

this makes me want to kick john prine in the face whoever the fuck he is.

well, maybe he'll leave his face to you, then.

[Edited on May 05, 2005 by in_a_blue_state]

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TOPICS:

Madison, WI

May 2004

MAY 04, 2005 02:04 PM

Atherton, CA

December 2002

MAY 04, 2005 02:07 PM

USA

May 2004

MAY 04, 2005 02:21 PM

I'm lost

December 2004

MAY 04, 2005 02:21 PM

Whitwell, TN

January 2004

MAY 04, 2005 04:36 PM

Goleta, CA

October 2004

MAY 04, 2005 04:38 PM

Saint Petersburg, FL

October 2004

MAY 04, 2005 05:49 PM

jackalnoir

Raleigh, NC

January 2005

MAY 04, 2005 05:55 PM

North Hollywood, CA

March 2004

MAY 04, 2005 05:58 PM

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

MAY 04, 2005 06:03 PM

I'm lost

March 2004

MAY 04, 2005 06:15 PM

Saint Petersburg, FL

October 2004

MAY 04, 2005 06:28 PM

Vancouver, BC

August 2004

MAY 04, 2005 08:51 PM

Vancouver, BC

October 2003

MAY 04, 2005 09:00 PM

United Kingdom

June 2004

MAY 05, 2005 02:03 AM

New York, NY

January 2003

MAY 05, 2005 07:47 AM

Fargo, ND

July 2003

MAY 05, 2005 09:56 AM

SUICIDEGIRL

District Of Columbia, USA

MAY 05, 2005 10:10 AM

Winnipeg, MB

February 2005

MAY 05, 2005 12:49 PM

I'm lost

March 2004

MAY 05, 2005 04:03 PM