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NEWS: Chinese "Pandas" "Sent" to "Taiwan" in "Friendship"

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Christopher

Portland, OR

November 2002

MAY 03, 2005 12:29 AM

CULTURE: Chinese "Pandas" "Sent" to "Taiwan" in "Friendship"

Will China ever offer Taiwan independence? Never in a million years. Will it recognize that the island has its own government? Nope. Will China send secret panda spies to Taiwan to do the bidding of the Motherland? You bet your ass they will.

Pandas are considered the ultimate diplomatic accolade in China. It is not clear whether Taipei will accept them.
China is also preparing to lift a ban on mainland tourists to the island and to ease restrictions on some agricultural produce.
The offer came on the final day of an historic visit the to mainland by Taiwanese opposition leader, Lien Chan.
Mr Lien is the first Nationalist leader to make the trip since the party was driven off the Chinese mainland in 1949 by the Communist Party.
On his departure for Taipei from Shanghai on Tuesday, he said his visit had gone "smoothly and successfully".

During the Cold War China used to make a habit of sending important dignitaries away with pandas, but most exports are now loaned rather than donated.

Pandas with zippers for spines, cameras for eyes, and thermonuclear bamboo shoots to nibble.

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE

December 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:42 PM

The guy who posted this article made it all funny. Ha ha.

Pandas are cool.

FunkySkunk

Gainesville, FL

July 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:44 PM

If anyone recalls the Simpsons episode where Bart goes to Australia, they would know (thanks to the end shot of a panda accompanied by evil music) that Pandas are evil creatures, sent to destroy the ecosystems of the countries they inhabit (kind of like bullfrogs). One day people will realize that it is the cutest things in life that do the most harm.

Ukko

United Kingdom

April 2005

MAY 03, 2005 12:46 PM

In the Thatcher years in Britain, social commentators cited the rise of political humour and alternative comedy as a reason for continued Conservative government.

They'll blame anything. We're clever enough to laugh and be serious with the same brain.

Are there now more pandas in other countries than China?

Rowan

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

MAY 03, 2005 12:46 PM

♥

xoxo
~Ro

FreakPirate

Canada

November 2002

MAY 03, 2005 12:46 PM

FunkySkunk said:
If anyone recalls the Simpsons episode where Bart goes to Australia, they would know (thanks to the end shot of a panda accompanied by evil music) that Pandas are evil creatures, sent to destroy the ecosystems of the countries they inhabit (kind of like bullfrogs). One day people will realize that it is the cutest things in life that do the most harm.

That was a koala.

mister_x

Plano, TX

January 2003

MAY 03, 2005 12:50 PM

c'mon the damn things won't even fuck to save their own species.

SawneyBeane

Victoria, BC

January 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:51 PM

Sounds like some sort of panda wife-swapping deal to me, couched in political terms, trying to get the (not so little) bastards to get it on.

leiraXariel

Eugene, OR

December 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:54 PM

Pandas are kickass.

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE

December 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:56 PM

ratbone said:
Sounds like some sort of panda wife-swapping deal to me, couched in political terms, trying to get the (not so little) bastards to get it on.

I thought China got rid of all those online sex sites!

ThisIsWhoWeAre

Oakland, CA

July 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:56 PM

FreakPirate said:

FunkySkunk said:
If anyone recalls the Simpsons episode where Bart goes to Australia, they would know (thanks to the end shot of a panda accompanied by evil music) that Pandas are evil creatures, sent to destroy the ecosystems of the countries they inhabit (kind of like bullfrogs). One day people will realize that it is the cutest things in life that do the most harm.

That was a koala.

Beat me to it.

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE

December 2004

MAY 03, 2005 12:57 PM

mister_x said:
c'mon the damn things won't even fuck to save their own species.

And thank you Fight Club!

FunkySkunk

Gainesville, FL

July 2004

MAY 03, 2005 01:13 PM

ThisIsWhoWeAre said:

FreakPirate said:

FunkySkunk said:
If anyone recalls the Simpsons episode where Bart goes to Australia, they would know (thanks to the end shot of a panda accompanied by evil music) that Pandas are evil creatures, sent to destroy the ecosystems of the countries they inhabit (kind of like bullfrogs). One day people will realize that it is the cutest things in life that do the most harm.

That was a koala.

Beat me to it.

Ladies.. Gentleman.. I think we can all agree.. theyre basically the same...

armyofrobots

Orlando, FL

October 2004

MAY 03, 2005 02:23 PM

FunkySkunk said:

Ladies.. Gentleman.. I think we can all agree.. theyre basically the same...

nein nein, pandas are way cuter.

poptard

United Kingdom

November 2003

MAY 03, 2005 02:25 PM

"that" is "rather" "odd" don't "you" think.....?

funny "though"

joespod

I'm lost

May 2004

MAY 03, 2005 02:35 PM

panda's as spies are a great idea - although as we now know they'll sell out for whoever feeds them chicken tonight...

("oh - its not a pet...")

allergic

Saint Petersburg, FL

October 2004

MAY 03, 2005 04:06 PM

did they send it to teach about the evils of sexual harassment?

MaitreSinge

Silver Spring, MD

June 2004

MAY 03, 2005 04:06 PM

I just really like the phrase "China used to make a habit of sending important dignitaries away with pandas." I envision the ambassador to China coming home with another pair or them on leashes, the spouse rolling his/her eyes, and saying something like "I know they're your hosts, but you can't keep accepting these things. *sigh* Whatever. Put them in the back yard with the others."

dholokov

Toronto, ON

April 2003

MAY 03, 2005 06:42 PM

FreakPirate said:

FunkySkunk said:
If anyone recalls the Simpsons episode where Bart goes to Australia, they would know (thanks to the end shot of a panda accompanied by evil music) that Pandas are evil creatures, sent to destroy the ecosystems of the countries they inhabit (kind of like bullfrogs). One day people will realize that it is the cutest things in life that do the most harm.

That was a koala.

Actually, it's proof that the Chinese govt's "koala gear" for their panda agents was a complete success.

raoulduke71

Saint Petersburg, FL

February 2004

MAY 03, 2005 07:09 PM

Koalas are marsupials and far cuter how many koalas have you seen maul someone? I rest my case

jimmytrash

Australia

December 2004

MAY 03, 2005 09:15 PM

Oh man I can't stand for this (im australian!).
Koalas a) arent anything like pandas - they are grey-blue and 1/6 the size of pandas.
b) they are still meanass. They spend all day eating alcoholic gumleaves, so although they dont ever really move fast, when they do it is with a violent rage only seen in the most vehement of wife-beaters.

And they make a noise like, aaazzznnnnkkkkk!

FunkySkunk

Gainesville, FL

July 2004

MAY 03, 2005 09:46 PM

jimmytrash said:
Oh man I can't stand for this (im australian!).
Koalas a) arent anything like pandas - they are grey-blue and 1/6 the size of pandas.
b) they are still meanass. They spend all day eating alcoholic gumleaves, so although they dont ever really move fast, when they do it is with a violent rage only seen in the most vehement of wife-beaters.

And they make a noise like, aaazzznnnnkkkkk!

I don't know dude... I've seen some violent wife beating Pandas in my day...

skeptik

New Orleans, LA

February 2004

MAY 03, 2005 10:26 PM

FunkySkunk said:
One day people will realize that it is the cutest things in life that do the most harm.

Oh no! Tribbles!

andreastesfaye

Yellowknife, NT

January 2005

MAY 03, 2005 11:43 PM

I'm still waiting for the info on the Panda nipples turning to M-60 shooting Nipples...... TAKA TAKA TAKA

[Edited on May 04, 2005 12:43AM]

skeptik

New Orleans, LA

February 2004

MAY 04, 2005 12:22 AM

PanBots?

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