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Ollie

Ollie

United Kingdom
November 2004

MAY 01, 2005 10:14 AM

I was out on the town yesterday with a couple of friends. We were minding our own business and popped into a take-away to get a kebab for my mother; who was very hungry. Ok, so we walk out, kebab in hand, and stroll towards my car. It didn't take us long to realise that there were a small group of about 4 townies (or chavs) trailing behind. They began shouting in a strange language and immediatly I began to assess possible options for the crisis that I knew was going to unfold. One of my friends, also realising our impending doom, broke off and walked towards his own car which was parked somewhere else. This did not escape the collective townie-mind which dispatched two of the group to deal with my friend. By this point the friend had reached his car and was sitting behind the wheel, starting the engine when the door was opened and the young townies began a takeover operation on his car. He put his foot down and sped off with the door still open, leaving the somewhat upset townies in his rear view mirror.
So now it was just the two of us against the 4 disgruntled (and slightly drunk, may I add) townies. They surrounded us and began asking for favours; they needed change, they needed to borrow a phone. I handed a pound coin to the one that was pleading the most. At this point I assumed that appeasement would be the best option, surely they would soon get bored of us. However this was not to be the case, they took the kebab out of my hands. It's alright, it was a £2.50 kebab, a small sacrifice in this situation.
The young lad nearest to me, decked out in baseball cap and shiny trainers, pushed up real close with his shoulders back and chest puffed out in a very polished manouever of intimidation. He began asking about my trusty £15 Casio watch, which I had become rather attached to as a matter of fact, so he wasn't going to get it easily.
"You're basically advertising it to me, mate."
Oh sorry, I knew I shouldn't have worn that 'Steal my watch' t-shirt.
Okay, so we started walking away, turned the corner and absolutely belted it to the nearest house where we knew someone.
So out of nearly a grand's worth of stuff in my pockets including an iPod, a phone and a car stereo, let alone my wallet and car keys, the scavengers content themselves with a kebab. It wasn't even for me, it was for my mum.
Fuck I was lucky.

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

MAY 01, 2005 10:17 AM

You should have strangled them with your ipod earphones.

The_Happy_Pig

The_Happy_Pig

United Kingdom
December 2004

MAY 01, 2005 10:20 AM

Hmm, well that's chavs for you. It saddens me to hear of such affairs. Speak softly and carry a big stick is what I say.

Ollie

Ollie

United Kingdom
November 2004

MAY 01, 2005 10:21 AM

Ah, that's why they're so expensive; they've got multiple uses!

BigP

BigP

United Kingdom
October 2004

MAY 01, 2005 10:41 AM

We call scum like that 'Neds' up the road.
Britain's glorious underclass. These guys do nothing to benefit society. I just wish the British media would stop trying to glorify these people.
They sponge off of society and they do everything to ensure that their kids follow the same path.
I could get into a pretty right-winged rant here (which is unlike me as I'm incredibly liberal) so I'll stop.
I'll end with saying that I've hated people like that since I can remember.

At least they didn't take anything too valuable.

hylian42

hylian42

North Richland Hills, TX
April 2004

MAY 01, 2005 11:22 AM

Your friend should have ploughed into the guys with his car.

if

if

Providence, RI
April 2005

MAY 01, 2005 11:29 AM

So being roughed up by drunk folks who speak more than one language means you live in a third world country?

I mean, yeah that sucks and all but why do you have to go there with it?

AvantGarde

AvantGarde

I'm lost
April 2005

MAY 01, 2005 11:33 AM

Oh my god, if some assholes tried that they better have guns or something otherwise...

Me

EndedBen

EndedBen

Grand Rapids, MI
August 2004

MAY 01, 2005 11:37 AM

Man, I could totally jack off to the eloquence and gentlemanly good cheer of your average Brit.

Ollie

Ollie

United Kingdom
November 2004

MAY 01, 2005 11:38 AM


So being roughed up by drunk folks who speak more than one language means you live in a third world country?

I mean, yeah that sucks and all but why do you have to go there with it?




The point was that kids are now mugging people for food. I wasn't trying to make a full comparison but it's a sad thought nonetheless.

ZombieElvis

ZombieElvis

Brooklyn, NY
January 2005

MAY 01, 2005 11:42 AM

Some pricks tried to mug my Good Lady Wife the other day. She pulled one of them off his bike and told him she'd break his 'fucking legs' if she ever saw him again. They got away with nothing. Relating the story to me later, she told me 'I very nearly spilled my diet coke'. Bless.

My Good Lady Wife is as hard as fuck.

Damn I love her.

Flux

Flux

SUICIDEGIRL

Georgia, USA

MAY 01, 2005 11:47 AM

ZombieElvis said:
Some pricks tried to mug my Good Lady Wife the other day. She pulled one of them off his bike and told him she'd break his 'fucking legs' if she ever saw him again. They got away with nothing. Relating the story to me later, she told me 'I very nearly spilled my diet coke'. Bless.

My Good Lady Wife is as hard as fuck.

Damn I love her.



I aspire someday to be called a "Good Lady Wife."

The_Happy_Pig

The_Happy_Pig

United Kingdom
December 2004

MAY 01, 2005 11:48 AM

Ollie18 said:


So being roughed up by drunk folks who speak more than one language means you live in a third world country?

I mean, yeah that sucks and all but why do you have to go there with it?




The point was that kids are now mugging people for food. I wasn't trying to make a full comparison but it's a sad thought nonetheless.



I doubt they were trying to mug you for food. It seems that they just using intimidation tactics to see what they could get, by nicking your donner, I'd say they were trying to get a reaction out of you - even pikeys have a code of some sorts, and they hate throwing a punch unless their tactics have caused you to throw the first one. I see gangs of chavs wandering around on a sturday night just trying to force someone into a confrontation - just so they can kick the living shit out of them.

I think you did quite well, on their own, they're little pussies, but they go round in packs, trying to see what lines they can push.

ZombieElvis

ZombieElvis

Brooklyn, NY
January 2005

MAY 01, 2005 11:50 AM

Flux said:

ZombieElvis said:
Some pricks tried to mug my Good Lady Wife the other day. She pulled one of them off his bike and told him she'd break his 'fucking legs' if she ever saw him again. They got away with nothing. Relating the story to me later, she told me 'I very nearly spilled my diet coke'. Bless.

My Good Lady Wife is as hard as fuck.

Damn I love her.



I aspire someday to be called a "Good Lady Wife."



OK, I'll do it, but you have to touch my bikini place.

pb

pb

USA
December 2003

MAY 01, 2005 12:04 PM

ha.


ha fucking ha.


i'd have me some chav kabob.

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

MAY 01, 2005 12:07 PM

Having never visited the UK, I was unfamiliar with the term "townie" or "chav", so I did a quick Google search. I thought this was kind of amusing:
Article about townies

hoisin

hoisin

United Kingdom
April 2004

MAY 01, 2005 12:21 PM

Gotta love chavs.

RiffProphet

RiffProphet

Palm Harbor, FL
January 2005

MAY 01, 2005 12:45 PM

An SG member from the UK showed me this link:chav site

Rosscoe

Rosscoe

I'm lost
March 2005

MAY 01, 2005 03:37 PM

i can sympathise with these tales... Chavs are just depressingly stupid.. confrontational.. violent.. and all with no proper reasons.

darn them all.

Poedelaire

Poedelaire

United Kingdom
January 2005

MAY 01, 2005 04:05 PM

Ah chavs, the pride of the UK...if ignorance, stupidity, intolerance, conformity, violence and glaringly bad taste etc. make you proud that is.

troglodyte

troglodyte

Victoria, BC
May 2003

MAY 01, 2005 04:12 PM

Mugging =" third world country"?

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

MAY 01, 2005 04:19 PM

i understand like 14% of the words in this thread. But I love it anyway, you chav kabob good lady wifers. Cheery Fucking Oh!

troglodyte

troglodyte

Victoria, BC
May 2003

MAY 01, 2005 04:22 PM

Proper fucking safe.

Walker

Walker

Redmond, OR
March 2005

MAY 01, 2005 04:28 PM

theSpotlessMind said:
Having never visited the UK, I was unfamiliar with the term "townie" or "chav", so I did a quick Google search. I thought this was kind of amusing:
Article about townies



The video was some what entertaining. From the videos I came to the conclusion that a chav for an American would be a inbreed hillbilly that was in to hip hop.

SomeOneUK

SomeOneUK

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAY 01, 2005 04:30 PM

autogolazo said:
So being roughed up by drunk folks who speak more than one language means you live in a third world country?

I mean, yeah that sucks and all but why do you have to go there with it?



That's what I was thinking... chavs suck, and I've been punched by them, but it does not a third world country make.

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