Anti-Traditionalists Thread

I started this thread because I am rather annoyed by many aspects of our society...and I'm sure I'm not alone on this.

So...discuss......

What traditions that people blindly follow that make no sense whatsoever piss you off the most?

I'll start.

Funerals.

I'm as sad as the next person when someone dies but the whole concept of funerals is insane. Put a dead person out on display and people (half of which didn't even make any attempt to go out of their way and visit this person when they were alive), parade through staring at a cold, lifeless body that used to host a personality but is now nothing but flesh and a frightening reminder of our own impending fate....
Not to mention the fact that funerals cost so much fucking money...
When I die, I want to be cremated and have the people that actually mattered in my life (you know, the ones who actually gave a shit and called from time to time, the people who actually knew me, not the ones who just heard about my death and went...oh yeah, i think i passed her in a grocery store once....) get together and have a good time, and remember me for the good things, not be all depressed and feeling forced to cry for hours on end in a church.
I could give many more reasons why funerals are ridiculous but I think you get the picture.



OK ...
Your turn.

My ashes are gonna get up and dance!

Wow...that will be quite a trick!

Fuck "dibs".

Marriage.

Marriage was created by landowning men to control who impregnated their daughters and carried on their legacy. Arranged marriages didn't start with Romeo & Juliet, it was always like that until a hundred or so years ago.

People who talk about the "sanctity of marriage" are dumb. If they wanted to keep marriage the way it was originally envisioned, then only girl's fathers could decide who they married. But the concept has evolved. So it should keep evolving.

Thr idea that you have to take your husband's name when you marry pisses me off. Before you say this isn't so much the case anymore, it's still the expected and standard. When I got married some years ago, we lived in Kansas City. People looked at me like I had three heads when I told them that I kept my name. Or when I would be giving my name for something and they would ask for my husband's name, I would tell them and then get a blank look. The typical response was "Oh, our computer can't put in two last names so I will just put you both under your husbands." This would be the point where I would politely suggest that they put both of us under my name. It's better now, but it is still a pain in the but!

The concept of "junior". I'm a junior, and it pisses me off that my parents couldn't come up with an original name for me. Just "Lynndal Keith Daniels... the second." Ugh. I am not my dad version 2.0!

Also, on the topic of baby names: Biblical names: John, Michael, Adam, Jacob, Gabriel, etc, etc. It's been DONE, people.

Something relating to dingoes8's and 's posts...
If you do get married, the whole idea of a 'traditional wedding' is ridiculous.
Weddings are all for the other people who are attending, not for the people getting married. Everything that is done...from all of the rehearsing, 'polite formalities', saying vows (dont you think the people getting married already know that shit? why do they have to write some cheesy ass poem or something to say in front of a group of people??), etc....it is all for show and it makes me sick.
When my husband and I got married we went to the courthouse and then had a big party at a rock club here in town. Nothing formal or forced.

Another one that pisses me offf...
(hey I started this thread, obviously I had a lot of reasons in mind....)

Thank You cards.
Can't you just tell someone thank you when they give you something? Why all the fucking formalities, people? Jeez! Whoever started all these strange traditions must have been really uncomfortable with the people that they surrounded themselves with.

I've always disliked the part of a wedding where the person-doing-the-ceremony (what is that damn word?) asks "who gives the bride away?"

I'm not being given away, damn it! I made this choice myself and my folks had nothing to do with it. And I'm not property you're trading!

That will NOT be in my wedding at all.

I've always liked the idea of a wake more than a typical funeral anyway. Get piss drunk and remember all the good times about your loved one.

Haggling.

Fuckign cheapskates... why does anyone feel they deserver a better deal than anyone else????

I think there's something to be said for sealing your commitment formally in front of your family and community. Symbolism has a lot of power, that's why we do it as humans. That being said, however, the recent "tradition" of going thousands of dollars in debt for a wedding, and the entire "wedding industry", is fucking ridiculous.

Wrong.

We had a very traditional wedding with 300+ people. I agree with your se4ntiments. It was completely out of hand (( attendants, 3 flower girls, 2 candlelighters, 3 readers, 2 singers, a string quartet, 2 ushers, a junior groomsmen, 2 people to hand out programs, 2 table hosteses, a guest book attendant, a bride's attendant, and my cousin signed to wedding). It was OUT OF CONTROL. We didn't think it would be like that, but our parents wanted something more traditional and with such large families there was no way around it! I was the first grandchild to get married, so we had to stick with this direction. We plan on getting re-married on our 10 year anniversary by our friend on a mountain in CO. That will rock! We should have insisted on it in the begining. But, we were young and wanted our parents to be happy.

Why does anyone feel that they should pay the same as other people?

I agree that symbolism holds power for a lot of people...I'm not someone who feels the need to have 'symbols' attached to every aspect of my life, though. The whole 'sealing your commitment formally in front of your family and community' is taking it a bit far in my opinion. Maybe sealing your commitment in front of the few people who really have a big role in your life, such as if you have kids already or if you are really close with your parents...but, for example, when I got married at the courhouse the only people we invited were my mother and law and my father in law...I am not close with my family and although for example my mom wanted to be there, I told her I didn't need her there because she has not been supportive of my lifestyle etc., and it made no sense for her to be there. She knew I was getting married, and that is all she needed to know. Her being there would only have caused tension and problems.
But like I said, that is just my situation. If you happen to be really close with your family, sure. Have them there if you feel like it.

But that brings me to another point that goes along with this thread, and that is the fact that most of the time, while people pretend to be close with their families, usually your family doesn't actually know you as a person, you are just a being who happens to share some d.n.a. and maybe a couple physical attributes are similar, but do these people actually take the time to get to know who you are?
Do they actually CARE?
Or are they just a part of your life because of convenience, because that is what was already laid out for them.
Harsh? Maybe a little, but it's the truth most, if not all, of the time.

Don't push me, Sir. DON'T PUSH ME!!!!!!!!?!!!

Haha! sure did work out for you, no?

I understand where you're coming from, but you don't you feel you're projecting your own issues onto traditions that may be valid for people without those issues?

(I also got married in a courthouse in front of about 15 members of my family, I'm just saying)

I think this is what the whole thread is about. The "problem " with traditions is that one size does not fit all. I can't imagin my parents not being at my wedding, but I have friends who are in a similar situation as you and it was not important for their parents to attend. I think events like this (or funerals for that matter) should be whatever you want them to be. We all have different situations, ideals and needs.

By the way I am truley close with my family and they know me very well. All of my aunts, uncles and cousins get together almost every week. We go to each others parties, go out with each other, plan vacations with one another and really are friends. I know this isn't common, and it may sound cheesy, but it is true. We work hard at staying close because it is important to us. This isn't possible with all families for so many different reasons. I hope you are able to "create" a family for you to rely on. Family does not have to be connected by blood!

I got this done to baby #1 at 6 months old. She cried for all of 30 sec. and was fine. I figured that she wouldn't remeber the pain and it would be less traumatic than when she was 6 or 7. However, being the stubborn little thing she was (and still is, don't be fooled) she took one out at 3, I had to take the other one out so as not to have a pirate child . By the time I went to put them back in the holes had closed. So, baby #2 will have untouched lobes.

My point exactly.

i don't see anything wrong with this one, actually.

my mom had my ears pierced when i was about 14 months old. she had a very good reason in my opinion. i was bald until i was nearly 2 years old and even when she'd dress me in all kinds of pink frilly shit, people would still say "ooohhh, what a cute little boy!"

i'd get sick of people calling my baby girl a boy.