Calling in sick

With my current job I haven't called in sick ONCE. Yes,i'm the model employee. I'm fuckin reliable. But back in the day with the jobs I hate..I just said I feel bad in general. Sinus infections and food poisoning,as stated earlier, are the good ones.

A lot depends on where you work (i.e. who you work for). I agree with not lying in general (although if you're going to, I'd use the diarrhea story). But where I used to work, it was pretty widely recognized that everybody needs a "mental health day" now and again. "I'm sick of work, I need a day, I'll make it up later" was perfectly acceptable.

Or you could always take Tom Robbins' approach from (if I remember correctly) "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues": call in well. "I'm feeling too good to ruin it with work..." (Can somebody find the exact quote? I gave away my copy of "Cowgirls".)

For me to call in sick, it's a royal pain in the ass. I'm military so it generally involves me showing up to work, syaing "I'm sick", going to medical, being seen by a 'military doctor', waiting for them to say "Yes, yes indeed you are sick", then return to work with written proof that I am sick and then going home. It's a pain and I usually just end up working because its less of a a hassle. It sucks...

the problem with your plan is the part where you say you'll make it up later. calling in sick isn't about juggling your days off, it's about lumbering a co-worker with your workload for the day. knowing that it's 8 hours less work you have to do before you die.

though i like calling in well, i will use that one day

oh, and, the last time i called in sick, i didn't call. i sent a text message to my boss saying i'd lost my voice.

granted its a little late for this, but ive found the best way to get out of work is to set a precedent for trustworthiness and the appearance of hard work. i do this at every place ive worked at.

at some point after i begin working there, and periodically after, ill come in purposefully looking sick as hell and acting the part, but never ask to go home and insist on staying there if anyone asks. that way, down the road, when you do want to call out, they remember how you came to work sick before, tehy will be less likely to fuck with you.

bullshitting isnt just an action, its an art form

I manage 17 employees. Do not make up some long drawn out story. The longer the story the bigger the lie. Leave a message saying you aren't feeling well and you won't be in today - that's it. Any more than that and I'd know you're lying.

SIDS. Tell them it was latant.

Call right after you wake up. This makes you sound like you're really out of it, AND your voice is usually fucked up. I always get the comment "Wow, you sound really bad!" Then I feel terrible. For about 30 seconds.

So...was it worth it?

Say you suffer from chronic insamnia and "off the record I'm taking medication for it" but I need to talk to my doctor about getting something better. i went to bed at 6 am and am in in no shape to come in to work.

Insomnia is the new "I have a cold"

Yes, just tell yr boss "I can't stop coming."

I hate when you're really, actually sick, but it's not something that effects your voice. How do you make your voice sound like "I've got explosive diarrhea"?

On the verge of screaming...or coming...take your pick.

Most of these don't work when they require you to have a doctor's note. Nazis.

I guess your grandmother dying is still a good measure though.

this always works

"i wont be in today i was in a terrible plane accident and died on impact, ill be in tomarrow"

When my bf calls in sick, they make him come in anyway.
He's always actually sick, too.

just pretend like you don't give two shits about the job

Make up a religion. Then make up a ritual in relation to that religion that requires a day off. Even if you got in trouble for it, you would have a funny story for a future thread or journal entry (and the rest of your life).

Right, of course, silly me. What was I thinking? Actually, at the time, there was no real notion of somebody else doing my job... nobody else in the department could jump in and write the software I was supposed to write (and I wouldn't want them to!). But that's not the usual situation, I realize.

I've never had the guts to try this one... maybe someday! Best of luck if you try it...

Easy.

"Hi boss, I can't make it in today, I got the hoooooooog! Gotta go!"

*click*

never give too much information. a stomach bug or 'something you ate' is pretty infallable. speak in your normal voice, keep it short and to the point and tell them to get in touch if you can help in an emergency. I always end with 'if I'm feeling better i'll try and make it in this afternoon'.

in no time you'll be watching gneral hospital with your cock in your hand my friend.

the perfect crime.

I called in sick today and it's my birthday. I've been going to work with migraines for two days now so there are plenty of people who know I'm not just skipping work but I can't say I'm looking forward to all the bullshit I'm going to hear anyway.