Dumb Shit You Do

Yeah, pretty much procastination. Like, I have three assignments due last week. I didn't do any of them, because I figured losing 10% of the marks wasn't that bad. But it means I spend far more time avoiding fun in the name of university than I need to.

I was so tired and scatterbrained tonight that I fed my cat and then tried to put the five-pound bag of dry cat food in the fridge. I actually stood there for a few seconds, pissed off that we didn't have any room and muttering about it being time to clean the fridge, before I realized what I was doing.

I haven't worn glasses in two or three years, but I still reach to push them up when I get a bit nervous about something.

I was so nervous about leaving my camera behind on a recent trip that I kept repeating, "Don't forget the camera," and triple-checking to make sure it was near my keys. When I finished packing, I grabbed my coat, grabbed the camera, grabbed my keys, and got into the car. I was 45 minutes down the freeway when I remembered I'd left my suitcase behind. I had fun explaining why I was late.

I take off my glasses a lot when I'm talking to someone in person, then put them on my head like a headband and forget, for a few seconds, exactly where I put them.

If I go in the wrong direction or change my mind about something, I'll say something like "Oh, wait...nevermind," frown, shake my head a bit, and go the right way. I only do this because I think other people are always watching me and would feel odd just turning around.

We may have been separated at birth.

Story of my life

Ahahaha, I do that all the time. I'm such a paranoid fuck.

I smoke in bed all the time. It's not a matter of falling asleep with a cigarette in my hand, I don't know how anyone can do that, but I always wind up getting ashes all over my bed, and there are tons of holes in my sheets and blankets from stray bits of the coal falling off.

Every other month or so I buy a bottle of gin, drink most of it, and then do weird shit. Even though I KNOW that gin fucks with my head. The last time I woke up in my car. I hadn't driven anywhere, I just got in my car, took off my boots, and went to sleep. And I wasn't even very drunk.
Fucking gin. . .


Also, I hardly ever throw away empty cigarette packs for some reason. If I am in my car, I'll just throw it in the back seat, in my room I'll leave it next to my ashtray, or throw it somewhere. . .or I'll stick it back in my pocket and leave it there, to the point where my life is full of empty cigarette packs.

[Edited on Apr 10, 2005 by MrStitches]

I masturbate on house pets.



I kid! I kid!

Seriouslly though, I dance at inaproptiate times, far too much.

I also cannot help ruthlessly insulting people, even those I like.

I get really really nervous and paranoid about forgetting something, and end up leaving it behind anyways.

I have never really paid my cellphone bill.

I sell run away teens into slavery markets.

Instead of disposing of krystal burger cardboard sheaths, I forge them into mighty hamster "death arenas".

I've never really listened to anything anyone has ever said, ever. Other than David Hasselhof, I think this makes me a good man.

I tried to make a lightsaber.

Sometimes to brush up on combat skills I kill a hobo. Then I eat the body.

I don't wear underwear, ever.

Sometimes I lose babies.

I've only made up four of these statements.

Exclamation point!

I pretend to make large money/drug deals on my cellphone in public places.

I make shit up!


[Edited on Apr 10, 2005 by Zosso]

I've been doing this for years, but i stopped about a month ago. Now i have peanuts checks with a smiling snoopy in the upper lefthand corner and i always draw a joint in his mouth. I still enjoy looking at the back of my bank statments every month to see the xeroxed copy of the check.

I cant fairly answer this, since most everything I do is dumb.

i buy junk at thrift stores, and then give away junk at thrift stores........they are usually very similar objects

I wash my hands on average thirty times a day......... dumb shit/obssesive compulsive

when I get a bad flashback of something stupid I did in the past.....I make a pistol out of my fingers and blow my brains out.......sound included...and usually, it puts my mind at a blank......


however, lately...i've been doing it in public and some people catch me.......