Missed Opportunities for Greatness

At work today, there was a big hubbub because Justin Timberlake came into our store. Not only did he come into our store, he tried a bunch of shit on and I was the lucking fitting room attendant. Justin Timberlake was six inches from me and I could have punched him in the face.

I have nothing against the guy, I like some of his songs, he's not terribly annoying, as far as celebrities go. But I would have, and should have, punched him in the face. Just so one day I tell my grandchildren/police officers that, yes, I did, right in the kisser.

Anything like that ever happened to you?

i wish!

Was this in one sitting? Impressive.

If the goat pooped somewhere funny, yes.

I had a boss one time who idolized Henry Rollins. I was drinking late one night in lower Manhattan and Mr. Rollins walked by on the street, I definitely had the urge to do something. That guy walks fast though and my friend brought up Greys Papaya......

Personally, if I did something well enough that millions of people paid me money to keep on doing it and someone I'd never met thought that was a justification for punching me in the face, I'd be kind of pissed off.

God made mountains for us to climb, not watch from a distance.







[Edited on Apr 06, 2005 by SuperNintendo]

Count it.

i could have done somethign to kelly osbourn, like i dunno something,
but i was being sick at teh time

but Crisp ran after her with a jug of ice to throw at her and we lost her

but it whould have been a funny story

The money I would have received from Fox for the rights to my TV Movie would be worth the price of my job, which I surely would have lost.

[Edited on Apr 06, 2005 by SuperNintendo]

i was once at a secluded little resort in hawaii, populated mostly by old people (which is one of the things that makes it a great place to let your freak flag fly), sitting around after lunch, and noticed a couple that were sorta shiny, distinctly superficial - my only lasting impression being that they were WAY too body conscious - i figured they were gym instructors or some shit - i found out later that it was jessica simpson and nick lehy...

whoops. maitai in your hair....


oh well.

An excerpt from my journal:


Just over a week ago I was on a plane sitting directly in front of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen (I think that's her last name). Ted had his right foot over his left knee and he kept twitching it back and forth so it kicked the back of my seat. This would happen every so often for about 30 seconds or so. Every time I worked up the nerve to say something like, "Excuse me, Mr. Danson? What you're doing is very irritating," he would stop. I got him in the end, though. Literally. When everyone got up from their seats after the plane landed, I accidentally elbowed him in the ass while pulling my suitcase from the compartment above the seats across the aisle. Take that!

Mary Steenburgen has the Most. Annoying. Voice. EVER.

That's all I've got. I don't know any famous people that I'd want to do anything bad to. Forget that, I don't know any famous people.

Yay for petty, meaningless revenge!

Ted Leo used the bathroom after me. I made the mistake of telling my drunk roommate, and he made a beeline to go bug Ted while he peed.

Which has fuck all to do with brushes with greatness; unless I had done something untoward to Ted, I suppose.

[Edited on Apr 06, 2005 by BillHaverchuck]

How much money did Mr. Timberlake pay you to say 6" instead of 4 1/2"?

Please tell me that if it had been Anton Kooncher you would have knocked his shit out.

I think being accidental excludes it from being revenge. Still, I saw it as a tit for tat.

I've always wanted to get my hands on some "tat" so I could trade it in for some "tit."