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Query

Query

I'm lost
April 2004

APR 05, 2005 09:59 AM

Thanks, y'all! I'm feeling better already. I get over this kind of thing really quickly. It's amazing how quickly friends rally to support you. I'm so lucky to know so many caring people...in real life and on the internet. biggrin

Meaney

meaney

Chicago, IL
September 2003

APR 05, 2005 10:06 AM

yeah... but not from a relationship.

i broke my own heart. i won't go into detail.

anyways... i know it's hard to do right now, but just think about how fucking great it is to be alive. to have actually been conceived... and born... growing into the person you are... it's the closest thing to a miracle anyone can ever perform. no smoke. no mirrors. just life. embrace it for what it is and because you have it.

i don't know what it is with me today... confused

but fucking A. if it's such a great day to be me, it has has to be a great day to be you.

Arrus

Arrus

Olathe, KS
March 2005

APR 05, 2005 10:09 AM

Yes. I won't go into it but oh well. The only bad thing is that we are still friends. surreal

Elvgrenink

Elvgrenink

HOPEFUL

New York, NY

APR 05, 2005 10:13 AM

awwwww
well not broken.. maybe more like cracked? anyway, still totally sucks.
i'm sorry, hope you're feeling better soon enough
kiss

FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

APR 05, 2005 10:35 AM

*hugs*

messyjessie

messyjessie

Marco Island, FL
July 2004

APR 05, 2005 01:06 PM

i do believe the phrase "the hair of the dog blah blah" refers to this as well.. not just the hangover as most think... soo...

when your heart gets broken,
eat the person who broke it

or if your not a fantastic chef,

eat a puppy.




wink

trixel

trixel

Burbank, CA
February 2004

APR 05, 2005 01:32 PM

yes. cmere, you get a hug. just remember, as horrible as it is now, every moment that passes will make it less so. I promise.

micajah

micajah

Mcallen, TX
January 2003

APR 05, 2005 01:44 PM

I won't go into details. but i started getting anxiety attacks from a broken heart.

This should cheer you up!

wink

thelastbeliever

thelastbeliever

United Kingdom
January 2004

APR 05, 2005 02:09 PM

Hmm, read my journal entry. whatever

DLPChris

DLPChris

Las Vegas, NV
February 2005

APR 05, 2005 02:14 PM

I've been single 2 years after a 3 years relationship. Immediately after the breakup, I couldn't sleep more than 2 hours a night and I never left the house.

crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

APR 05, 2005 02:20 PM

Yes.

I'm sorry.
*pats Query on back*

ragefilledmuffin

ragefilledmuffin

Aurora, IL
November 2004

APR 05, 2005 02:32 PM

Yes. Even though I broke up with him, it wasn't something I wanted to do. I was physically ill for days afterward. It actually didn't take too long though, before I realized I was better off alone than with some idiot. I spent a lot of time with my very awesome friends. I threw myself into my schoolwork. I had a rebound fling (maybe not the best idea).
I know it sounds like a total cliche, but it does make you a stronger person, once you survive the worst of it. It also shows you how many other people in your life truly care about you.
But right now, it just majorly sucks for you, I'm sure. I feel for you. I hope you have some excellent friends to help you through this. kiss

BraveArt

BraveArt

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

APR 05, 2005 02:32 PM

Query said:
Thanks, y'all! I'm feeling better already. I get over this kind of thing really quickly. It's amazing how quickly friends rally to support you. I'm so lucky to know so many caring people...in real life and on the internet. biggrin



The Beatles said it best "I get by with a little help from my friends" smile

Don't want to share my whole story-but here is one thing I did:

Take all of the mementos... the photographs, the dried roses, the poems, the birthtay cards, all that stuff, especially the photos!, and pack them all away in a cardboard box. Wrap that box up with some serious packing tape--the kind of shit that you can't just rip open with your fingers. Wrap it up real good and put it away in the darkest corner of your closet, or better yet, in your mom n dad's attic or something. Don't burn it or trash it--just put it away.
This way you won't get caught in those moments of weakness when you want to pull out the loveletters and re-read them for the 30th time after you've downed a bottle of Pinot Noir. But you will know wherever he/she is. You have not destroyed the memories, but you have put them somewhere safe and out of reach, which is where they should stay. And then, in a few years, you may go back and open it if you want. You may laugh, you will cry, but you will have allowed yourself to have the distance that you need. I have three of these boxes and they are well hidden. (And if, by chance, things get nasty and your ex turns into an evil monster, then you can go get that box and have a fuckin bonfire with that shit!)

I wish you all the best smile

myiaa

myiaa

United Kingdom
January 2005

APR 05, 2005 03:02 PM

Eponine said:
yes.
i felt like i was dying for a year and a half.
and the whole time i knew it was all my fault. blackeyed

i'm really glad that's over.


Yes. I felt exactly, exactly the same as that. For so, so long.

I kept waiting for the awful, awful feelings to go away. And sometimes, it still feels really shitty if I think about it.

It's a horrible cliché that you don't want to hear, but it will get better in time.

Mle

Mle

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

APR 05, 2005 03:12 PM

i am sorry honey.

you will get through this... i did. i wish i wanted to tell you the story but i just cant bring myself to do it. on the floor hyperventilating broken. it sucks. find things to keep your mind off of it. get help if you need it. reach out and talk to people. if you need anything let me know.

good luck. just remember things will get better. i know you dont want to hear this right now BUT there are others out there for you, i promise you will find someone else.... many fishes in the bowl wink

JohnSalisbury

JohnSalisbury

Saint Louis, MO
March 2005

APR 05, 2005 03:58 PM

This sucks and it's beautiful all at the same time.
SG rocks

JohnnyForeigner

JohnnyForeigner

United Kingdom
July 2003

APR 05, 2005 10:54 PM

I had my heart broken once. The girl I loved was killed. Hope you're ok frown

TheDishwasher

TheDishwasher

Frederick, MD
July 2004

APR 05, 2005 10:58 PM

ive been on and off with the same guy for two years... today he dumped me and told me video games were more important than me.... *hugs* relationships can so suck.... i need chocolate....

Stumbleine

Stumbleine

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

APR 05, 2005 11:03 PM

yes, and no i don't want to share.

hope you feel better soon (although, it's easier said than done)

Lemonkid

Lemonkid

Canada
May 2003

APR 05, 2005 11:07 PM

Not really.. though I'd kind of like it to be sometime.

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

APR 05, 2005 11:19 PM

Twice. The second time was easier because I remembered that I DID get over the first one and that I WOULD get over the second one.

Things I went through:

I couldn't eat. I just wasn't hungry, and trying to force it made me feel sick.

I wouldn't go to sleep because I'd have dreams about him and wake up even more depressed. Also, when I woke up, I'd realize I had to go through another day without him. So, my sleep suffered big time.

I found it hard to care about school, so my grades slipped. I couldn't imagine my future without him, so I found it hard to care about my future. BAD BAD BAD. I didn't do this the second time. I owe that one to maturity, since I was three years older.

Work was hell, but it got me through the day, and that was good. It helped distract me a bit.

Hanging out with friends wasn't as fun as it should have been, but had I not, I'd have gone insane. They understood and didn't mind when I'd start crying at random moments. They'd be like, "Why is a MUFFIN making you cry," and I'd have to say something like, "Because he fed me a muffin on our first date," and they'd sort of smile and hug me. It felt dumb at the time, but it helped.

I let myself cry whenever I needed to. If I was at work, I went into the bathroom and allowed myself a couple of minutes to wash my face and relax. You HAVE to let yourself cry. I call it "getting the poison out", like a snakebite or something. If you keep it in, it'll make it worse. The second time my heart broke, I didn't hold it in, and I got over it MUCH faster.

Try to reduce contact with him. You may be able to be friends some day, but not right now. It's too soon. You can't make the transition in your head until you give it some space and learn to live your life without him.

Call your friends whenever you need to talk or whenever you need someone to tell you they love you. That's what they're there for. A true friend won't mind listening to you cry at 4:00 AM because he/she knows you'd do the same for him/her.

Oh, and *****HUG*****

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

APR 05, 2005 11:34 PM

Been there. I couldn't eat for a week. I lost fifteen pounds. It wasn't healthy. blackeyed

But everything will be okay. No matter how much you tell yourself you'll never be the same again, it'll get better. You'll be okay.

*giant panda hugs* It'll get better. smile

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