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almostfamous

almostfamous

NEWSWIRE

United Kingdom

APR 03, 2005 03:57 PM

my housemate is getting married next year, there's been much speculation about who he'd chose to be his best man because since he got together with his fiancee he's gone down the classic route of hardly seeing any of his friends anymore (i mean, i live with the guy and i hardly see him) so the two people i always thought would have been the obvious choices, having both known him since first school, are lucky to speak to him every two months, possibly not the kind of relationship that makes people want to be your best man.
so last night i heard he's picked a best man, his sister
i haven't had a chance to confirm this yet, but would i be alone thinking that it's damned strange?
anyone here been to a wedding with a female best man?
and before anyone suggests it this isn't some kind of equal rights statement, he's never cared about anything like that (and is in fact very happy to have a girl that makes his sandwiches and irons his shirts wink) so does it make me a bad bad cynical man to think he might have asked her because she;s the only person that is guaranteed not to turn him down?

_Tab

_Tab

USA
September 2004

APR 03, 2005 04:02 PM

When my best friend gets married we have already decided I will be his 'best man'

_Tab

_Tab

USA
September 2004

APR 03, 2005 04:03 PM

throwabomb said:
When my best friend gets married we have already decided I will be his 'best man'


Also, he very well may be a brides maid at mine, lol

MissTyrios

misstyrios

NEWSWIRE

Allston, MA

APR 03, 2005 04:07 PM

throwabomb said:

throwabomb said:
When my best friend gets married we have already decided I will be his 'best man'


Also, he very well may be a brides maid at mine, lol



Same here.

The_Incubator

The_Incubator

I'm lost
October 2004

APR 03, 2005 04:08 PM

When a friend of mine got married last year she had a man of honor instead of a maid of honor. First I'd ever heard of it, but to me it seems essentially the same as a best woman. Didn't seem all that weird to me; I mean times are changing. Sounds like in your case it's the withdrawing from/ignoring friends that's bothering you more than whether then best man is actually a man or not.

Nick

Pollywog

Pollywog

Beverly Hills, CA
September 2004

APR 03, 2005 04:09 PM

i had my brother as a 'brides man' and my husband had his sister as a 'grooms woman'

it was wonderful and i would not have had it any other way

Meaney

meaney

Chicago, IL
September 2003

APR 03, 2005 04:11 PM

i was my sister's 'butler of honor'...

clara

clara

MODERATOR

Baltimore, MD

APR 03, 2005 04:14 PM

I don't think it's weird at all. The idea is to have someone you care about help you prepare for a really important day and honor your strong relationship from the past as you move into a strong relationship in the future. The idea that this person has to be the same gender as you is asinine.

almostfamous

almostfamous

NEWSWIRE

United Kingdom

APR 03, 2005 04:31 PM

The_Incubator said:
When a friend of mine got married last year she had a man of honor instead of a maid of honor. First I'd ever heard of it, but to me it seems essentially the same as a best woman. Didn't seem all that weird to me; I mean times are changing. Sounds like in your case it's the withdrawing from/ignoring friends that's bothering you more than whether then best man is actually a man or not.

Nick



oh definitely. i don't have a problem with a female best man, i'm not a big fan of marriage in general, let alone demanding people stick to the rules, but i'd never heard of it before and he's not a ,mould breaking kind of guy at all. it just stuck me as a really odd thing to do, the friend that told me about it had also not heard of it.

i'm surprised at the responses in here, maybe if it's this common i should be less cynical about his motives. maybe wink

diggity

diggity

Carrboro, NC
March 2003

APR 03, 2005 04:41 PM

i've been a bridesmaid twice. le sigh...never to be a bride. wink

jake_lex

jake_lex

Lexington, KY
February 2003

APR 03, 2005 04:43 PM

I'm surprised at how entrenched what I shall call the "When Harry Met Sally Fallacy" is in our thought: that is, how many people continue to believe that a male who has a close female friend is either gay, or scheming to bang her. It's stupid, ridiculous, and I'd think we'd be past it by now. Oh well.

FridgeMagnet

FridgeMagnet

Chicago, IL
November 2004

APR 03, 2005 04:44 PM

If I didn't have a brother that I love more than life itself, and if I ever got married which I doubt will happen, I'd ask my friend Amy to be my best man. I don't think it's strange at all.

almostfamous

almostfamous

NEWSWIRE

United Kingdom

APR 03, 2005 04:49 PM

jake_lex said:
I'm surprised at how entrenched what I shall call the "When Harry Met Sally Fallacy" is in our thought: that is, how many people continue to believe that a male who has a close female friend is either gay, or scheming to bang her. It's stupid, ridiculous, and I'd think we'd be past it by now. Oh well.



where did that come from. it's his sister, i really hope that's not why they're close. wink

commonman

commonman

USA
August 2003

APR 03, 2005 04:52 PM

Dont forget that a lot of this wedding "tradition" came after WWII and was invented to sell things to a newly enriched society. So do what you want. And your friend should do what he wants. Hell, I was married by an atheist in front of my and her immediate families and then the 12 of us all went out to dinner. No best man, reception, nothing. It still counted.

Oracle

Oracle

Courtenay, BC
September 2003

APR 03, 2005 04:53 PM

i was a bridesmaid in my sisters wedding...actually her maid of honour and other bridesmaid were guys smile

almostfamous

almostfamous

NEWSWIRE

United Kingdom

APR 03, 2005 04:54 PM

it seems i've only been going to the boring weddings.

Olivia

Olivia

STAFF

Oakland, CA

APR 03, 2005 05:00 PM

I was best man for the wedding of two of my favourite people. Twas fun smile

kishi

kishi

Glendale, AZ
January 2005

APR 03, 2005 05:15 PM

I had a friend who, when he got married, had one of his female friends from high school as a groomsman, and the bride had a guy as one of the bridesmaids.

Meanwhile, my fiancee and I occasionally have argued over which side of the aisle one of our friends will be on...

Helly

Helly

Australia
December 2004

APR 03, 2005 10:35 PM

i think its great smile

EmilyRocks

emilyrocks

Sacramento, CA
May 2004

APR 03, 2005 10:41 PM

my mom was a groomsman for her brother when he got married. if the people you want in your wedding happen to be bridesmen of groomswomen, who cares? the people closest to you should be in your wedding, no matter what.

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

APR 03, 2005 10:42 PM

My sister had a few guys in her bridal party. The way I see it...if it's your wedding, you do whatever you damn-well please.

Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

APR 04, 2005 11:49 AM

Yeah, I'm probably going to end up having my brother as my maid of honor. You never know.

MisterSatan

MisterSatan

Portland, OR
August 2002

APR 04, 2005 11:50 AM

Al said:
Yeah, I'm probably going to end up having my brother as my maid of honor. You never know.


He's got the hair for it.

HenryTMensch

HenryTMensch

New York, NY
December 2004

APR 04, 2005 11:55 AM

Why not have a female "best man" or a "man of honor?" Whatever makes you happy when you get married.

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

APR 04, 2005 12:02 PM

I've seen this a few times. In one case, she wore a tux just like the guys. In another, she wore a formal black velvet dress with a corsage that matched the ties/vests. It worked perfectly. The third wore a gown that matched the bridesmaids'. It just depends on what the people involved want to do.

When it came to the wedding party dance later that night, the maid of honor and "best girl" danced with their date/husband/friend instead of with each other.

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