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4/4/05

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JohnClement

JohnClement

Silver Spring, MD
January 2004

APR 03, 2005 09:37 AM

Crivelli said:

BillHaverchuck said:
I write obits every week for work.

Haverchuck, 24, known by some, liked by even less, expired after receiving a sound thrashing about the head and neck from Supernintendo. Professional paper pusher. Mom finally found a way to get him to move back to Ohio. Burial will be Sunday, followed by watching the Browns game at the home of the deceased's parents. Fucking Browns!



Crivelli said:
"I never knew the man but I get payed $20 an hour to fill this page every day."




...are you that man?

eeek



Just of alumni of my college. It's only part of my job.

MaryBee

MaryBee

I'm lost
October 2004

APR 03, 2005 10:10 AM

Marybee, age 18, died today. Her body was discovered under the clothes in her bedroom a week after her demise. Teams of volunteers had been searching for the body but noone thought to look under the filth that engulfed her room. The autopsy revieled that she had ingested nearly 5 pounds of butterscotch pudding. Her roomates claim to have known about the problem for sometime now, but they "never thought it would go this far."

May Marybees death be a lesson to all of those butterscotch hoodlems. Once is never enough; just say no.

For information on the dangers of butterscotch pudding or to volunteer to be "butterscotch educator" please contact Moms Outraged about Butter-scotch (mobs) at 1-888-butterdont


My death will not be in vein! frown

sixbysix

sixbysix

United Kingdom
December 2004

APR 03, 2005 02:39 PM

JohnnyHomicide said:

mcsalty said:
Headstone:

Hear lies mcsalty;
"I'M TAKING YOU ALL WITH ME"
a failure in death as in life.


There is a thread for that.



Shit. Erm, okay...

Pope McSalty I, 22, died tragically and bizzarely today during his inaugral address after being kidnapped by a rare Roman Fighting Pigeon and dropped 70ft to his depth and subsequent death.

God bless him, and all beneath him.

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

APR 03, 2005 02:47 PM

"Time to get another
Before the final shout
You shoulda heard them roaring
as they dragged the bugger out
And we'll never
see the likes of you again"

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

APR 03, 2005 02:50 PM

There will be no obit column. If I die, im takin' all you muthafucka's with me. mad

selfcontaining

selfcontaining

I'm lost
May 2003

APR 03, 2005 02:56 PM

My cat can eat a whole watermelon.

alpo

alpo

Portland, OR
OLD SKOOL

APR 04, 2005 02:55 PM

How come a Rubin and Ed reference always kills a thread?

beckricci

beckricci

Spring, TX
December 2004

APR 04, 2005 03:17 PM

Beckricci, a gentle soul and fellow traveler who died earlier today, will be known for his big heart, his ever encompassing empathy for the poor and downtrodden and the size of his gigantic cock.

MissMeeMee

MissMeeMee

United Kingdom
March 2005

APR 04, 2005 03:19 PM

Live Fast.

Die Young and Pretty biggrin

schoolgirl

schoolgirl

Christmas Island
May 2003

APR 04, 2005 03:24 PM

schoolgirl, dead at the age of 28. She was good at everything and had great hair.

TReBlah

TReBlah

I'm lost
March 2005

APR 04, 2005 03:33 PM

"TReBlah, long-time cigarette smoker, died of cancer today.
he never saw it coming..."

hmph. sounded funnier in my head. whatever

schoolgirl

schoolgirl

Christmas Island
May 2003

APR 04, 2005 03:33 PM

dkmfc said:

schoolgirl said:
schoolgirl, dead at the age of 28. She was good at everything and had great hair.



and was a rad model for stripey stockings. biggrin




love love love love love love

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

APR 04, 2005 03:37 PM

"He went way out where the huskies go...and never came back."

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

APR 04, 2005 03:47 PM

scrantonian said:
Christopher Flannery (1980-2005) Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship

thats an eptipah (at least)



That's what I was gonna put! Except, you know, with my name. Thunder stealer!

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