I know its been asked a million times before...

But why does it hurt so much?

What is it about love that makes it hurt so badly when they leave you?

How can you stop the pain?

Makes it worse because I got the whole, "Is not you, its me. I just needtime to be single. Your the best boyfriend I ever had and it scares me."

If thats the case why did she have to leave me?

Sorry, im just in a lot of pain and need sympathy even if it is from people who I dont know. I just want to be told its okay.

Chemicals. In your brain.

That's all.

Ouch.

It's ok. *manly hug with back pats*

I'm going to quote some Kahlil Gibran for you.

[Edited on Mar 30, 2005 by Keith]

sorry, and it will be ok.

I know you don't believe this and it seems like it'll hurt forever and you'll never love again, and that's your reality now. But. You'll get over it. It's a great time to grow as a person and all that cliche bullshit.

My ex girlfriend of four years gave me the same speech. Wanted to be single, college, meet new people, blah blah blah.

She told me this over the internet and I haven't seen her since.

its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all....

you cant stop the pain. Just give it time.

People really need to stop using the "its not you its me" line.

But it will seriously be Okay. just give it some time.
cheer up *hugs*

People suck; which is why I try to deal with them as little as possible.

What she said. It's confusing for both people. Just give it some time.

"A lot of love is misery; bad weather
punctuated by occasional flashes of sunlight."

Robertson Davies, The Lyre of Orpheus

This is the perfect time for you to start listening to Interpol. Trust me on that.

You don't die from a broken heart - you only wish you did.
anonymous.

And when you get a chance, go outside and look at the moon. Look at the stars or the sun or constellations and try to imagine how big they are. Try to imagine how far away they are. Put yourself in perspective to the rest of the universe.

It's easier to see that you're not the only one when you think of how many other people this has happened to, and when you consider that it happens everyday.

Find the person who makes you happiest. Obviously it's not her, because you feel horrible right now, and it's because of her, or at least directly related. Find the person who makes you happiest, and talk to them. Someone positive, someone who genuinely cares. Talk to them about something unrelated to this. Ask them questions about themselves.

Don't assume this is the end. Don't assume this is a new beginning. This is only something that's happened, it's an event. You're going somewhere else, she's not the first person you've met and she won't be the last.

Be happy that your lives intersected.

Be thankful for the time you had.

how can anyone say that? People should count themselves lucky to find someone they can call the "best." and I'm sorry you're in so much pain. everything will be ok. I wish you some hugs.

i know this sounds horribly cliche, but i find it helpful to understand that it wasn't meant to be, and not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

"A heart is never really stout until it has broken and mended at least once. [He] might be grateful for having found such an interesting heart-breaker. Lots of men break their hearts over women who are no more interesting than turnips."

Robertson Davies, What's Bred In The Bone

Reading Davies works for me, Xentor

Aww, now I feel bad for having pigeonholed you the other day. *Hug*

I guess my take on this isn't profound or anything, but first let me agree that a moratorium needs to be imposed on the "It's not you, it's me" bullshit. But I think you should wallow in this for a while. Cry, throw shit, listen to schmaltzy music, whatever it is you like to do when you're down. But at the same time, rely on your support-system. And when you're tired of being miserable, you'll find a way to stop being so. We as people are inherently apocalyptic, but resilient despite that tendency. You'll find a way to persevere, but I'd suggest that you not try to jump into anything too soon. You'll just end up doing more damage to yourself and someone else. Anyway, this is nothing you probably haven't heard before.

Stay strong and I wish you the best.

[Edited on Mar 30, 2005 by mamet]

Be glad it hurts. It's better to feel pain than indifference, even though it makes it harder to get over.

It's time like these when I remember that Jack Daniels will always love me.

You're lucky then. Jack Daniels hates me. He beat me up one time and broke my glasses. And I was just trying to give him a hug.

And that at least you didn't waste any more of your time with them. Life is finite.

"Yes," she said. "I love you, Frank--but I'm not in love with you, if you understand." This is a fine distinction, dear to some female hearts, which people like Francis can never encompass. --RD

You should have a "just guys night." Invite five or six of yr "mates" over and get some pizzas and mountain dew. then play some "guy fun" music like counting crows, third eye blind, bare naked ladies and matchbox 20 and just jump around and play bed-trampoline. thne rent the new star wars movies on dvd and talk about how "hot" natalie portman is.

and then just realize that you can always meet someone better than the last one.