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priapus

priapus

I'm lost
January 2004

MAR 28, 2005 01:14 PM

MasterBrian said:

mamet said:
Yeah, I fail to see how beating someone into submission would make them less depressed. It seems to me that would be demoralizing and perpetuate said depression. Seems to me I know and have seen quite a few girls who were beaten by their spouses or fathers who have a less than stellar psyche. But, hey, that's just me.




for some submissives its a sence of "belonging" or "accepted"




Isn't there a distinction between spanking and a beating?

And I'm going to rent Secretary again.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

MAR 28, 2005 01:35 PM

priapus said:

MasterBrian said:

mamet said:
Yeah, I fail to see how beating someone into submission would make them less depressed. It seems to me that would be demoralizing and perpetuate said depression. Seems to me I know and have seen quite a few girls who were beaten by their spouses or fathers who have a less than stellar psyche. But, hey, that's just me.




for some submissives its a sence of "belonging" or "accepted"




Isn't there a distinction between spanking and a beating?

And I'm going to rent Secretary again.



I know, I was being hyperbolic I guess. It just seems to me to be asinine. It may release endorphins, sure, but it's like putting a band-aid on a shotgun wound. It's not really treating the root of the problem, just giving it a quick fix.

And Secretary is a beautifully perverse little film, isn't it? Dammit, now I want to watch it.

Crudds

Crudds

Lake Helen, FL
February 2005

MAR 28, 2005 01:50 PM

skeptik said:
No - it's the feeling of brotherhood you get. Or should I say "fraternity?"



"Thank you sir! May I have another?!!"


biggrin tongue biggrin



Heh, good reference. wink

Though what about "Dazed and Confused" (I believe) After some of those kids got a beating from Ol' Ben, they seemed to start having a lot more fun..... Oh, and as someone who got many a paddling as a kid, I believe this to be.. ah.. yeah thats the word, Bullshit.

Nixon

Nixon

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAR 28, 2005 01:55 PM

Geez, this took scientists? i could've told them that...

Mandarin

Mandarin

SUICIDEGIRL

Pennsylvania, USA

MAR 28, 2005 01:59 PM

So, I've been pretty depressed lately...who wants to come whip my ass?

priapus

priapus

I'm lost
January 2004

MAR 28, 2005 02:03 PM

mamet said:

priapus said:

MasterBrian said:

mamet said:
Yeah, I fail to see how beating someone into submission would make them less depressed. It seems to me that would be demoralizing and perpetuate said depression. Seems to me I know and have seen quite a few girls who were beaten by their spouses or fathers who have a less than stellar psyche. But, hey, that's just me.




for some submissives its a sence of "belonging" or "accepted"




Isn't there a distinction between spanking and a beating?

And I'm going to rent Secretary again.



I know, I was being hyperbolic I guess. It just seems to me to be asinine. It may release endorphins, sure, but it's like putting a band-aid on a shotgun wound. It's not really treating the root of the problem, just giving it a quick fix.

And Secretary is a beautifully perverse little film, isn't it? Dammit, now I want to watch it.




I think I see your point, Mamet, but if the "root of the problem" is endorphin deficiency, what makes a spanking less acceptable than exercise or drugs? Or contact sports? Or thrill seeking sports like skydiving or surfing? Does it matter how the patient gets the endorphins flowing as long as no real harm is done and the patient consents?

I thought Secretary was a touching little love story, too.

daemontia

daemontia

West Long Branch, NJ
March 2004

MAR 28, 2005 03:10 PM

demetrius_z said:

Blanca said:
by the way this may seem like a rude question, but whats so bad about cutting, besides the obvious scars one gets sometimes from the act and riskin possible infection, in the unlikely case that does happen?


Ignoring decorative scarification: Cutting is a harmful, painful, act that is usually a symptom of mental health problems. You mention two serious problems with cutting. Scarring can be permanent, even with new slicone scar treatment sheets, and the scarring can make mental health problems worse. You say infection is unlikely: Do you have any links showing the rate of infection in self-harm, or was that just a guess? wink tongue

Another serious problem with cutting is that it is addictive, both physically and psychologically. Cutting releases endorphins. Endorphins make you feel good.

I find it weird that people say "What's wrong with cutting?", as if it's a free choice that people make. You don't often hear people saying "What's wrong with alcohol addiction", or "thyroid problems".

Notice that I condemn cutting, not cutters.




i know cutting is the result of a problem, but i just find it hard to see how it's a problem, besdies scarring. when i was little, i used to cut. sometimes very deep, too. it never got infected.

i met a lot of cutters in my life and infection was never a problem. usually cutters seem to be pretty careful with the process. i've never really heard of anyone running to a rusty blade and slashing away. it seems they're usually using clean razors and cleaning it in some way after. i knew a lot of people who also used alcohol afterwards.

it can be addictive because it makes one feel better, i just don't see how thats a bad thing. it is not the kind of addiction that kills brain cells and causes people to act differently or anything like that. like i said, besides scarring and the seemingly unlikely case of infection, it doesn't really hurt the body, i kinda always thought to let people do it in peace. if it helps, it helps. i think it's kinda better than keeping kids doped up on meds so they act "normal" again

handyman

handyman

Austin, TX
November 2004

MAR 28, 2005 04:10 PM

I have no idea if this works, but it sure does sound fun. biggrin

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 28, 2005 04:52 PM

Blanca said:
it can be addictive because it makes one feel better, i just don't see how thats a bad thing.


People who self harm are more likely to commit suicide. Treating the thing that makes people want to self harm is more effective than denying the problem.

Don't forget that people aren't just psycologically addicted to the 'feeling better' part, they can be physically addicted to the endorphins.

it is not the kind of addiction that kills brain cells and causes people to act differently


It is precisely because people are acting differently that cutting is a problem. People probably wouldn't cut if they didn't have problems. Allowing people to cut often doesn't solve anything, and sometimes makes the problems they have much worse.

or anything like that. like i said, besides scarring and the seemingly unlikely case of infection, it doesn't really hurt the body,


But it seems like you're trivialising those reasons. I know people who *hate* their scars and really regret the fact that they ever started cutting. There's research showing that many people do not like their scars. Scars make it harder for people to socialize, harder for people to ask for help, harder for peopel to communicate with their freinds and families, harder for people to get jobs. Scars make insurance more expensive.
DSH (Deliberate Self Harm) isn't just about cutting. It involves other stuff too; burning, hair pulling, crushing, banging, and overdosing. Overdosing is the commonest form of DSH in the UK and it leads to many deaths; how many of those people died because other people allowed them to get on with their DSH and didn't treat it as a symptom of serious illness?

i kinda always thought to let people do it in peace. if it helps, it helps.


Fair enough, if someone's going to cut they're going to cut and there's nothing that someone else can do to stop them. It doesn't mean that cutting is the best thing for that person, and it doesn't mean that cutting should be seen as an acceptable long or medium term solultion.
DSH usually does not help past the very short term.

i think it's kinda better than keeping kids doped up on meds so they act "normal" again


I am sick to the pit of my stomach with this anti-medication bullshit that I hear spouted so often.

I'm calling you out: Provide links to back up your claims that no medication is an effective treatment for an illness that has a high mortality rate.
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=9

Every year, 30,000 Americans take their own lives by committing suicide. At least 15% of people with depression complete the act of suicide, but an even higher proportion will attempt it.



DSH is the strongest risk factor for future suicide

DSH should be treated with extreme care

Acts of deliberate self-harm may not always involve the intention to die. However there is a strong association between attempted suicide, deliberate self-harm and subsequent successful suicide, so all incidents of self-harm should be treated with extreme care.
[...]
All of the evidence available suggests that incidents of deliberate self-harm should be taken seriously and treated with appropriate care both at the time of the incident and in follow-up, if suicide prevention is to be addressed.



Suicide prevention

Similarly it is a myth that people who self-harm are not at risk of suicide. In fact 10% of people who deliberately self-harm eventually commit suicide.



Let them get on with it? Give me a fucking break. mad mad

priapus

priapus

I'm lost
January 2004

MAR 29, 2005 08:53 AM

I'm not defending cutting, but I think it's different than spanking. Although I guess I'm still struggling to distinguish things like contact sports, thrill seeking, spanking, piercings, tattooing, from other endorphin releasing activities or medication.

It's tough to see where to draw the line when the nature and degree of pain are consented to by the sub...and when you consider the sub is really in control if the consent can be withdrawn at any time...

Does it make sense to say someone is "addicted" to endorphins? Isn't some level of endorphins, like other hormones, necessary to be considered healthy, just like other chemicals in our bodies? Is it better to somehow diminish someone's craving for endorphins, or instill some sort of stoic ability to do without, than to provide the endorphins through medical or other means?

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 29, 2005 09:02 AM

priapus said:
Does it make sense to say someone is "addicted" to endorphins?


Yes.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Is it better to somehow diminish someone's craving for endorphins, or instill some sort of stoic ability to do without, than to provide the endorphins through medical or other means?


I don't understand you. DSH provides endorphins, but is -by definition - harmful. Exercise provides endorphins but is beneficial. Some therapies can reduce the desire for DSH, and some of those therapies work better when combined with meds.

Most of the research I've read shows that therapy alone can work, but takes longer than meds + therapy.



[Edited on Mar 29, 2005 by demetrius_z]

priapus

priapus

I'm lost
January 2004

MAR 29, 2005 09:21 AM

I'm sorry if I'm not being clear, demetrius_z, but I'm struggling to articulate the issue without the knowledge you apparently have.

If the problem is low endorphin levels, it seems there are two possible general responses: 1. increase endorphin levels, or 2. decrease the craving for the missing endorphins

If the response is to increase endorphin levels in the patient, then we get into what are acceptable and unacceptable methods to increase endorphins.

I agree that cutting is on the unacceptable end of the spectrum, and exercise is probably at the other end, but even exercise can be taken to an extreme that becomes detrimental, right? So what makes one method more objectionable than another?

xokatyxo

xokatyxo

United Kingdom
December 2004

MAR 29, 2005 09:35 AM

I want that Croatian doctor from ER to give me a good spanking.

Michael_DeSade

Michael_DeSade

Seattle, WA
OLD SKOOL

MAR 29, 2005 01:00 PM

Mandarin said:
So, I've been pretty depressed lately...who wants to come whip my ass?


I am so disappointed that this comment went almost a whole day without response. When a beautiful woman offers her ass up for a whipping, the only acceptable response if "Me, ME, ME, dear God choose ME!!!"

Or something wink

ARRR!!!

priapus

priapus

I'm lost
January 2004

MAR 29, 2005 01:14 PM

I think I killed the mood with my pedantic tangent...


Yes, spankings all around for neglecting Mandarin.


dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 29, 2005 01:32 PM

priapus said:
I agree that cutting is on the unacceptable end of the spectrum, and exercise is probably at the other end, but even exercise can be taken to an extreme that becomes detrimental, right? So what makes one method more objectionable than another?


Ah, okay. Cutting is almost always a negative thing. Exercise is almost always a positive thing.

For a few people, in rare situations, cutting canhelp them get through a crisis. But for most people it makes things worse. They're ashamed of the scars, of the fact that they cut, people concentrate on the cutting and not the underlying problems, etc etc.

Exercise is almost always positive, but it can be negative. It gets people out of the house. It boosts endorphins. It boosts self-esteem. It can increase socialisation. It helps with appetite. It helps with sleeping.

(Sorry if I was grumpy before. blush )

[Edited on Mar 29, 2005 by demetrius_z]

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 29, 2005 01:33 PM

.

[Edited on Mar 29, 2005 by demetrius_z]

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAR 29, 2005 01:37 PM

.

[Edited on Mar 29, 2005 by demetrius_z]

daemontia

daemontia

West Long Branch, NJ
March 2004

MAR 29, 2005 08:26 PM

i will reply to all that when i'm done studying for my gender studies exam lol

Telepathboy

Telepathboy

Tacoma, WA
February 2005

MAR 29, 2005 09:51 PM

Michael_DeSade said:

Mandarin said:
So, I've been pretty depressed lately...who wants to come whip my ass?


I am so disappointed that this comment went almost a whole day without response. When a beautiful woman offers her ass up for a whipping, the only acceptable response if "Me, ME, ME, dear God choose ME!!!"

Or something wink

ARRR!!!



Agreed. I'd like to take a ticket for the ass-whipping

priapus

priapus

I'm lost
January 2004

MAR 30, 2005 07:43 AM

demetrius_z said:

priapus said:
I agree that cutting is on the unacceptable end of the spectrum, and exercise is probably at the other end, but even exercise can be taken to an extreme that becomes detrimental, right? So what makes one method more objectionable than another?


Ah, okay. Cutting is almost always a negative thing. Exercise is almost always a positive thing.

For a few people, in rare situations, cutting canhelp them get through a crisis. But for most people it makes things worse. They're ashamed of the scars, of the fact that they cut, people concentrate on the cutting and not the underlying problems, etc etc.

Exercise is almost always positive, but it can be negative. It gets people out of the house. It boosts endorphins. It boosts self-esteem. It can increase socialisation. It helps with appetite. It helps with sleeping.

(Sorry if I was grumpy before. blush )

[Edited on Mar 29, 2005 by demetrius_z]




It's not cutting I'm focused on, demetrius_z, but spanking (or butt spanking).

I agree with you about the value of exercise, but if my partner doesn't want to exercise, maybe I can get mine while smacking her ass? I'll switch arms so as not to risk asymmetry.

I guess I'm just playing with the medical/pharmaceutical response versus spanking or some other less socially accepted method of provoking an endorphin response.

I mean, would you rather smack Mandarin's ass? or watch her take a pill?




And I didn't think you were grumpy.

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