self-termination

This thread is depressing, can't we talk about underscores or podcasting or... why emo sucks? Threesome? Anyone?

I'm going to hell

Here endeth the lesson.

yeah, i don't know, i'm sorry if i upset anyone by making this thread but the thought of suicide comes up a lot when i get depressed. not that i wanna kill myself, i just think about life and death a lot

well said.

is it a Milwaukee Threesome?

So, I've had some recent experience with a kid who wanted to commit suicide. He's like ten years younger than me, and except for a few notable differences is in the same shit-boat I was at that age. I've thought often of killing myself back in the day, when the hormones are surging and life seems to be shitting only on you.

he broke up with this girl, and he thought it was the end of happiness for him. I've been there, and a shitload of people have been there, but his lack of...I guess maturity or experience or whatever you'd call it, caused and causes him to ignore that. To think he's the center of the world. He's so depressed by this that he feels like there will literally never be any joy for him.

I do think it is a selfish attitude. After a fashion, that is.

But every case is probably different. I've known three people who have killed themselves and they did so probably because they couldn't bear a pain that they felt was world-ending. One of them was a woman with a 12 year old son, whose father had left them long ago, and whose step father decided to cheat on the mom with a crackhead. Right around the time she took the pills, after she'd taken the liquor, she realized she had a responsibility to her kid to stay alive. She called 911, but it was too late. one of the others let his roommate find his corpse; that's something that guy will just have to live with. Finding your best friend dead like that. And the first person I knew who killed herself, she let her parents find her brains on the bedroom wall behind her skull.

is that selfish?

When we say "selfish" it has a negative connotation to it. I think it's more accurate to say that, often times, people who commit or consider suicide aren't thinking of anyone beyond themselves. I don't think that means they are selfish people. None of the three people I mentioned above were "selfish". They were all fucking good people with good hearts. But they encountered terrible situations which stole their perspective.

My perspective was similarly stolen, and I was a highly depressive teen at times. I came up with all kinds of dark philosophies to account for the fucked-upness of life. One day, I came to the conclusion that while no happiness is ever guaranteed to last, no pain is guaranteed to last either. And that led me to the belief that regardless of anything else, things change. You might be sad now. Next week, though, you might be happy. It'll change again and again and again, crests and troughs and shit. But none of this shit is constant. My recent experiences in life have cemented this belief. It's not an entirely positive or negative view...and really, it might be a little more negative than positive. I don't feel entirely comfortable sharing that philosophy with this kid. I can deal with it, but I don't know that he can, in other words.

I think it's hard to see that when you're a kid with zero life experience. And I think, if there is such a thing as the "instant gratification generation", this also comes into play.

This kid is still alive so far. He blames me for that because of certain actions I took when i thought he was serious about doing it. He's also recently been having coffee with a new chick. Hopefully, this will change his perspective a bit. He has good days and bad days.

But shit, who doesn't?

does a bear shit in the woods?

I'm completely with BrokenGavel. Put it this way: would you go into a hospital and tell a cancer patient to suck it up?

Mental illness is just as real. So regardless of the stats, I think it's completely unfair to say that in all cases, sucking it up is an option.

"You will not self-terminate."

Did anyone tell that joke, yet?