Self defense against the undead.

i think i may have it... i havent seen mine in weeks!

Part 3


Having already discussed hand to hand combat with both vampires and zombies. We can now move into advanced tactics, With any luck you should never have to use these moves in real life, if you do may god have mercy on your soul.

The next creature in the line up is without a doubt the most dangerous creature on the planet. He is the reason you should never travel alone on halloween, and why you should never enter an old grocery store without a robotic monkey covering your back. If you've ever downloaded bad music from napster or taken a !^$* in the woods he is there, watching you and waiting.

I speak of course of one "gerardo" AKA Rico Suave.



A foul beast of this magnitute is not to be taken lightly. If you do encounter him, hand to hand combat is NOT recomended. However most of us are not willing to grow a mullet to easily defeat this enemy. So, at the very least you will need a set of 7 tent stakes, an empty soda can (mountain dew preferbly) and a toothbrush.

First, distract "Rico" with the shineyness of the mountain dew can.



Mmmm citrus delicousness.

Next, stun him with a strait jab to the eyes/nose .



Quickly discard the tent stakes.



Brush twice daily.



Flee



Hopefully you should never have to actually use these tactics, few people have survived an encounter with Rico, and here they are to tell you how cool I am.

pensquare - "The doctors say I should regain use of my legs within the next few months, and my new reconstructed face will resemble my old face to some degree."

666irish - "I was one of the lucky few to survive the suave slaughter of '97, I firmly believe Zosso fighting tactics saved my life. West side, peace"

leiraXariel - "These posts aren't funny anymore zosso."



This is the last one I promise, please stop sending hate mail.

everyone loves a kitty in a cowboy hat

That's freaky, I was just warning Smuffy about rico suave

it's true.

This thread has totally made my day.