NEWS: IDF Cracks Down on Dungeons and Dragons

CULTURE: IDF Cracks Down on Dungeons and Dragons

The Israeli Defense Force is trying to locate D&D players in their ranks in order to lower their security clearance.

Players may be "detached from reality," according to a military statement, and thus more susceptible to influence.

I don't know why you'd need a high security clearance in the first place. You can just cast Lightning Bolt at anyone who tries to stop you.

How dumb is that...I thought our military did stupid shit.

Out of mom's basement and into the governmental dungeon.

Hm, maybe our weapon of mass destruction is, in reality, a good 'ol Displacer Beast. Or maybe a Black Dragon?

Cruise Missile of Palestinian Slaying +3?

Actually it might be a good precedent. If they started lowering the security clearance of people who are "detatched from reality" then maybe we could start demoting republicans over here on the same grounds. Sounds like a fair trade to me

The person who came up with this idea has a 4 Intelligence and a 3 Wisdom.

Buuuurrrn!

*Obfuscate, Lvl 4* I vanish Israel from mind's eye.

I am just at at a loss for words...I mean really. But perhaps all those geeks who got beat up in high school just need to find some Israeli buddies to get their back.

"Alright guys, we need to suppress the insurgent football players, then go to the store to buy more dice, and finally pick up more Mountain Dew. Then I will give you all 5000 experience points. Yes, I will let you be a half dragon, but only if you promise not to abuse it."

What would a geek do if he had control of a crack Isaraeli defense squad?

[Edited on Mar 08, 2005 7:05AM]

In related news, any soldier uttering "It's the asshole waltz" is to be immediately transferred to Operation Human Shield.

Edit: spelling is fun.

[Edited on Mar 08, 2005 by threejane]

Oops. Wrong game.

#2: Maybe the IDF thinks that "Rifts" or "Synnibar" is more appropriate?

I'd put 10 to 1 on it being a Tarrasque. If you're going to have a D&D monster, you might as well go for the gold.

[Edited on Mar 08, 2005 7:18AM]

does this mean I can avoid responsibility if there is a draft?

"Sorry, I'm very detatched from reality, I am not only a Level 18 Paladin, but also a level 25 Jedi Guardian and a level 12 Thief!"

Does the have a problem with homophobia?

I think they just don't want people who will "attack the darkness"

Hm. It seems there's something Rabbis and Baptist ministers can agree on.

As a side note, it's to my understanding that D&D got introduced overseas largely by servicemen who played it at their bases.

Oh come on. A displacer beast couldn't even take on a tank. Now a catoblepas, or however the hell thats spelled, they've got death rays!

is there a special pocket on those cargo pants for a 12-sided die?

no....the kobolds...they wouldnt expect the kobolds

Guys, guys. We're talking about going up against modern weapons right? What are most modern weapons and ammo made out of? That's right, metal. If we're gonna have a WMD it better be a Rust Monster.


[Edited on Mar 08, 2005 by Akira]

i think that a good reflex save can get you out of that one

A herd of kobolds in a confined space can be more damaging than a wyrm in an open field. It's true. We lost a party once that way....