Joke of the Day

Bill Gates meets his programmer

Bill gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with god, god stands over him and says well bill I’m really confused on this one its a tuff discussion I’m not sure weather to send you to heaven or hell. After all, you've helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you've also created that GASTLY Windows 95 among other things. I believe I’ll do something I’ve never done before. I'll let you decide where you want to go.

Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied. "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?” Looking slightly puzzled god said, "Better yet why don’t I let you visit both places briefly" then you can make your own decision. "Which do you choose to see first Heaven or Hell?”

Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I’ll try hell first" so, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, bill gates went to hell.

When he materialized in hell, bill looked around. It was beautiful and clean, and a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, and clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A Smile came across bill's face as he took a deep breath of the clean air.
"This is great" he thought, "If this is hell, I can’t wait to see heaven"

Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lighting and a cloud of smoke appeared, and bill was off to heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angles were drifting about playing their harps, and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place bill thought but not as enticing as hell.

Bill looked up and yelled for god. He told god his decision and was sent to hell for eternity.

Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in hell. When he got there, he found bill gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.

"So how is everything going?” god asked.

Bill responded with a voice filled with anguish and disappointment. "This is awful its nothing like the hell I visited the first time, I can’t believe this is happening. What happened to the other place with the beautiful mountains and the beautiful women (Suicide Girls)?"

"That was the demo version", replied god.

HA!

Hehe.

Aren't there suppose to be laws against lying in your advertising? Take a look at nearly every computer game box cover, and they will be stocked with impossible and constructed scenes. Sometimes the graphics are completly different than what's in the game, so I ask how is this a lawful act?

Bill Gates dies and goes to Hell. The devil says "Well since I kinda admire your evilness, you get a choice of hells to spend eternity in." So he takes Bill on a tour and they come to the first room, which has people getting tortured on the rack by demons who look like Dick Cheney. Bill takes a look and says "No, I'll pass" and they go on. They come to the next room where people are turning on spits over a fire while demons cut off their flesh and eat it (with barbecue sauce) and Bill decides to pass again.

This goes on for a while and finally they come to a room with a supermodel, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a computer. Bill takes a look around and says he'll take it. As the devil shuts him and turns to leave, one of the damned manages to spit out the weasel that's biting his tongue out long enough to talk. He says to the devil "What did you do that for? That seemed like a nice place." So the devil says "You see, the bottle has a hole in it and the woman doesn't." The guy manages to ask "And what about the computer? before the weasel jumps back into his mouth again, and the devil says:

"It has Windows 95. Bwahahahahaa!"