NEWS: The Secret Handshake is Two Fingers in the Back of the Throat

It is always the most fortunate that can pass up good fortune.

This post sounds like I disagree with everything that you say, but I don't, really.

It's a shame that their community doesn't encourage them to get help.

Anorexia kills people. About 1 in 5 anorexics will die.

The (small amount) of research I've read suggests that Anorexia has very little connection to media images and has a lot more to do with gaining control.

They have a serious mental health problem that hospitalizes many and kills 20% of them. Note that I'm not condemning them, but the illness that they have. I'm not judging them.

Starving yourself to the point where you stop having periods and grow more hair and risk death is anything but 'normal'.

I strongly agree that mainstream media is oppressive and does a lot to make most women feel shit about themselves and that the world would be a better place if Vogue (etc) had more realistic models. I do not agree that this is connected to Anorexia.

Cutting is almost always negative. (I'm clearly not talking about voluntary decorative scarification here) Cutting should be an action of last resort. People should find alternatives to cutting if they can. Cutting is dangerous and addictive and is often a sign of severe mental health problems. People should seek treatment for those problems and -if needed- sort out the situation that caused those problems. In a very few situations cutting might help people cope enough to be able to make it through a rough patch and then to get help, but this would be the minority of cutting incidents.

Of course, it's easy for me to say that people should seek help from doctors: I'm in the UK where treatment is free and I'm getting excellent treatment froma team of people.

I'd agree if you had said "calling people with mental health problems pathetic is stupid"

No. There is a big difference between modifying your body because you want to and modifying your body because you can't control your actions. Having a drink is a choice, being an alcoholic isn't.

i think a lot of you need to think about this subject a bit more, before you post here claiming this to be "sick and twisted".

i am a recovered anorexic and cutter.

i was anorexic because i was mentally ill, not because i thought it was cool to be thin.

and i cut because i was anorexic.

and these sites helped me to stop self harming...and this is their purpose. yes, these sites get terribly misused by girls looking for an extreme diet, but for those few truly ill people, these sites can be a life line.

mental illnesses alienate people. and anorexia and bulimia are two of the most misunderstood illnesses of them all. many people assume people choose to be anorexic, because they want to be thin, they want to be "beautiful".

but eating disorders are not choices. they are not lifestyles. but with many non-sufferers believing that this is the case, who are ED-sufferers meant to turn to? who would understand except for people going through the same thing?

i never realised i had anorexia at the time...until 3 years into the illness, when i began making myself throw up after meals. that’s when i realised i had a serious problem - i had gone from being a thin girls who was careful with food, to a crazy girl with no self control. and i felt alone, because if i didn’t understand my illness, who else would? that is when i began harming myself - i don’t know why, but at the time, it did help me.

but when i discovered these sites, all that stopped. because i could now talk openly about my illness, and all the feelings and thoughts that come with it, with people who felt the same. yes - the message boards are misused by ignorant girls (and boys) who think anorexia is another fad diet, but during my time on the boards of a couple of sites i found 4 girls who were truly suffering with this illness as i was, and it made a hell of a difference to me, to be able to talk and share, and help others with their problems, whilst they helped me with mine.

i am recovered now – i’m a healthy weight, i eat a bit too much chocolate - sure i still have body hang-ups but who doesn't? but even now i have recognised my problems and overcome them, i will not condemn these sites as being "sick, evil, wrong". their purpose is good, and the outcomes can be positive for some visitors. they aim not to help people recover, and not to "turn people" anorexic - they are simply there to give support to those who need it.

if used correctly, these bracelets are not worn to "show off" that a person is anorexic, they are not meant to be a fashion statement - their purpose is to create a sense of belonging to ED-sufferers - a mental disorder which usually acts to alienate individuals. that is the purpose of these sites and these bracelets. i know they are misused, and i am saddened by that, but please understand that the original intention of these sites are good and positive, not sick and twisted.

and please remember, anorexia nervosa and bulimia are mental illnesses - please try and be sensitive when discussing them. there are a lot of "fakers" on these sites, a lot of people looking for a quick way to loose those extra pounds. but for the real sufferers, all they want, and need, is a little more tolerance and a little understanding.

xxx

kogii ... I checked out the message boards real quickly. When I see a thread like this ... http://tinyurl.com/526mw ... I don't see how that's helping any of those people. I don't have an eating disorder, and like I said, I only looked at the message boards briefly, so it's entirely possible I'm full of shit/don't know what I'm talking about, but it seems that all that really does is reinforce and glorify mental illness. I mean, the tips section compares smoking cigarettes and eating food.

Also, as a side note, am I the only one who finds an irony in the same country producing the Thickburger and blue dragonfly?

this is what i mean about the "fakers"...(it sounds wrong to class them as that but i dont know what else to call them). these girls will never be hospitalised or diagnosed with a disorder - anorexics dont have bad days - anorexics just don’t eat. it comes easy - that’s why its so hard to recover from these illnesses, and why people find it so hard to understand. i can understand how threads like these make people think that people choose to be anorexic...these people have chosen to go on a diet, but they are not mentally ill.

i once did a survey on the boards i went on - i collected the stats of everyone who posted them and worked out the BMI. out of over 120 girls (and boys) only 6 would be classed as “underweight”. everyone else was “normal”, and 3 were overweight but still thought, just because they'd lived off crackers and water for a week, that they were anorexic.

i really wish people would stop thinking of anorexia and bulimia as extreme diets. they are not - they are very very serious mental illnesses, and they can kill. the people who suffer from them are not pathetic, they are not weak or stupid. they are sick. and they need some understanding.

these sites are not good representations of ED-sufferers, but they do offer a sort of refuge for them. like i said, i only met 4 girls who really, really knew what i was going through and that i could share my feelings with - 4 girls out of many many other people. but these 4 girls got me through the worst time in my life, and for that, i will be forever thankful to these sites.

these sites aren't going to "turn" anyone anorexic, but isn't their existence worthwhile if they can bring a bit of happiness to a handful of peoples lives?

xxx

I don't know. Obviously it/they helped you, but ... I don't know, maybe that's not always the case. I mean, if the site's run by a legitimate ED sufferer, then why do the tips seems more geared to the ED poseurs? I mean, it doesn't even seem like there should be tips at all, now that I think of it. I mean, I doubt I could find tips on how to be schizophrenic or bipolar.

yea...i don't really think there needs to be tips, because you don't learn to be mentally ill. i think they're probably there just to fill up space - i mean you have to have some sort of content on a website. but anorexia makes you need to loose weight - so i suppose if someone knows an easy way to avoid meals or distract your attention from food, they might want to make it public to help others.

i dont really know - cant say that i ever really looked at the tips, but i'm guessing they're there to fill up the site.
hehe - i dont know!

xxx

Too true, but A car, tv and 3 meals a day is a damn sight better than having to clean out the Calcutta sewers by hand just because you were born into a 'lower caste' family. If the suicide rate in some third world countries is lower than in this country, I think that says something about the people of this country. There are people living in conditions that would kill most of us. These people who commit suicide because they can't take living in this country, with all of our advances and wealth, should stop and think about the people who are beaten viciously because they showed too much of their face, or are forced to work cleaning human shit out of a sewer by hand, or have to stand for hour on end in the blistering cold to get some scraps of bread. I think if they realize how wonderful their lives are compared to that of others, they might shut the fuck up, and eat the god damn hamburger.

anorexia does not a wonderful life make

its a mental illness, NOT a choice
please try and understand this

xxx

Wow, I wish *I* had that kind of camaraderie when I went throught MY bulemic phase.

But no, I joined cross country, got a life, got good grades, and decided I need my food.

Know what's better than pro ana encouragement?

Not being sick.

where does the $20 for the bracelet go?
me thinks that is a pretty morbid way to make a buck.

[Edited on Feb 22, 2005 by fiendish]

it probably goes towards the site, but i agree - it's a nice idea, but maybe they should promote the making of you're own bracelet, rather than spending a load of money on one.

xxx

You really have no clue what anorexia or bulemia is about. It is not a matter of being depressed or dissatisfied. It is a mental disorder that causes compulsive behaviour. The starvation is the effect, not the cause. Telling somone to "eat the god damn hamburger" not only doesn't solve the problem, but might even help contribute to it, since people with EDs can already be both self-conscious about it, as well as often misinformed--as you clearly are.

I don't like that girls are becoming anorexic, but I honestly don't see how people can view anorexia as a disease and morbid obesity as a lifestyle choice. They're both very unhealthy patterns of eating and behavior, and if you've ever looked at websites of "pro-ana" people, they seem to be relatively aware of their choice.

Claiming to be aware after the fact is called empowerment. Someone posted earlier in this thread that the reason these sites work is because they make these (mostly) girls feel empowered instead of powerless by this disease. It's easier to accept it by turning it into something positive--like a "lifestyle choice"--than it is to begin to heal.

Are you trolling or are you serious?

I read more of the posts on the bluedragonfly site - it seems some are trying to recover and some are feeding (honestly no pun intended) each others' diseases. I hope the site really is helping some. I feel for the victims of these diseases who are being enabled by others likewise afflicted, though.

And thaks kogii, PsychicGoldfish, and any others posting about their recoveries. I hope the right people read your posts.

Not one post about this but lots about models, mainstream, media, etc.....anorexia in particular is also a form of taking control of the only thing you feel you can grasp; the prison of your body. It generally occurs with people (women) whose lives are ruled by some kind of viewed chaos, doesn't matter what it is (bad home, anything) but those who fall into this reclaim control of their lives through the mirror in making a task of carving the ideal image which is never satisfied (NOT FOR VANITY BUT DISCIPLINE), so their work continues and it gives them something huge to take their minds away from the misery of whatever is plaguing them. How is that hard to understand? It is an issue of seeking control and demanding discipline.
There's 6 pages of comments here (some are HORRIBLY CRUEL!!!) and I'd like to add that some people, maybe like you, just have no idea what it's like to be in the prison of someone else's body and how it affects them. BECAUSE of people like you, sites like this are made. While it may seem disturbing, for those affected by food/body issues, it can be a harrowing fucking place. I WISH I could normally talk with people about it. I WISH I could strike up conversation with someone else who wants to cry every time they're hungry or associates food with hate, guilt, anything. It's nice to know someone understands the hatred and even though it doesn't make you right, at least you're not alone. I'm not saying anything to justify any sort of illness but WHAT PEOPLE GO THROUGH to look acceptable or be happy or love themselves, sometimes it's so painful.
All I'm saying is that's something to take into consideration next time you bash girls who are in pain. Not saying anything is right, just saying I understand.

fucking pro anorexia.
im a sufferer and in recovery from a severe eating disorder and if one thing fucks me off is this pro anorexia movement, ive seen the sites, young people encouraging other young people to starve themselves, congratulating each other on weightloss and days of fasting, its fucking sick.
these braclets as others have mentioned have been around for a while, what a crock of shit, there are pictures of the likes of nicole ritchie sporting these rad braclets, and mary kate, probably a coincidence but all the same..

i started reading this thread and thought "how is this news? it's from like 2005?" then i realized, the thread is from 2005.

The link to the site doesn't even work anymore.

Can you really get MAD at them, though? I mean, these people are mentally ill.

As someone who has been struggling with a serious mental illness and the trauma of abuse for a good part of my life, and who has self-mutilated, I have to say that I feel pity for these girls, and anger at those of them who think it's trendy to slowly kill and maim themselves. I have seen it before, and when I was younger, felt tempted to join in. I understand how sick and twisted the head must be to glorify eating disorders and self-injury, and I understand that most of the people that visit the site seriously believe that they're trying to support each other and give understanding... but this is so wrong. This site also makes me angry because it furthers the stigma on eating disorders and cutting/self-injury and allows the stereotype to continue that only angsty teens trying to fit into some "emo" culture do these things. Quash the ignorance. Read "Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia & Bulimia" by Marya Hornbacher to understand the sickness behind eating disorders, or "A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain" by Marilee Strong to truly understand how far beyond the angsty teen these issues stretch. I'll be 26 in December, and it has been one year since I last cut. I still obsess over it, mulliing the idea over in my head, when I'm stressed out or going fucking crazy, but I know it's immature and unhealthy and it doesn't solve my problems. It just gives me more scars, and more shame. /end rambling.