Military? Maybe you can answer this for me...

Apparently, it's a disqualifier (when trying to enlist into the Air Force) if your wife is currently pregnant. Here's what happened a week or so ago:

Hubby (known from now on as H): Hi, I'm interested in enlisting into the airforce, active duty.
Recruiter 1 (known as R1 from now on): OK, I just need to ask you a few questions first.
H: alright.
R1: Height...weight....blah blah blah
H: (Answers all the questions).
R1: Any kids?
H: Yes. One 9 month old.
R1: Is your wife currently pregnant?
H: Yes.
R1: I'm sorry. That's a disqualifier.
H: Oh. OK. thanks.

SOOOOOOOOO. He calls another recruiter, this time he doesn't mention I'm pregnant nor does the recruiter even ask. My question is, should we risk telling the recruiter? Or just wait till he signs a contract? Isn't honesty the best policy after all? If anyone knows the answer to this, or knows anyone that is either in the airforce, or different branch, or a recruiter, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE...let me know.

♥,
Jizzikah

maybe it's only a disqualifier because they don't want someone signing up and then requesting to take a year of paternity leave

The question is: Can he support a wife an two kids on the pay he will recieve?

That may be the disqualifier. The military families on welfare are a black-eye for the government.

Hmmmm...I don't think the air force gives a years worth of paternity leave. I don't think it would give a years worth of maternity leave.

He can support it better on that pay than our current pay as waiters, that's for damn sure.

Haven't you seen the documentary Top Gun? Having a kid back home shook the shit out of Cougar and Maverick had to save his ass with an inverted psyche out maneuver.

I respect your husbands choice to sign up but they have rules for a reason.

I'd guess that somewhere around three quarters of enlistees "fail to mention" something to get in. Usually it's a broken bone from ten years ago or a family history of heart trouble or something.

My recruiter encouraged me not to mention my broken elbow from third grade. I didn't, and nobody ever knew any different. The only thing I can think of that might get you in trouble is if he starts celebrating the birth during training; though it's likely nothing would happen, it's not above the American military to suddenly decide they need to clamp down & make an example out of someone.

ok ummm, for those that don't know.

If you are serving in the military and are married and have children you do get paid accrodingly. for instance let's say you enlist in the Marines and your a pfc and you get married and you have kids while in the military well nwo your making pay more along the lines of a lance it's usually about 2 ranks higher that you get paid for the fact you have more to support vs the other guys. on top of that you can request for housing also so that's free room and board however you do have to be married and i should not even say that stuff oh well i just gave you an inside tip one of many

I knew all of that. Thank god for that! But have you ever heard of that being a disqualifier?

If the recruiter says it is, then it is. It's their job to get you in, especially *these days,* and they wouldn't make something like that up just because they don't like the way "h" looks.

Most disqualifiers are like not using a blinker while changing lanes. Technically it's illegal, but if anyone notices, they'll probably let it slide.

It wasn't a disqualifier when I joined the Army. Not that I was married or expecting children. One of the guys in another platoon though had his son born while we were in training and he was married. If it is policy, it's a new one and probably implemented due to the current situation the country is in. And no offense or anything but if you're pregnant, he really shouldn't be joining the active duty airforce or any military branch. It's a risky thing. If he's serious about the military I'd check out the National Guard. I'm not sure how Texas does it but the National Guard doesn't advertise itself very well and loses out on many potential recruits when they fail to mention that in Illinois for instance, if you join you get free tuition at any public upper level school in Illinois. Lot of good deals in the National Guard. And it's a lot safer than active duty.

I have never heard of having a pregnant spouse being a disqualifier for any branch of the service. One of the people that I worked with came in and his wife was pregnant the only thing they did was give him leave to find a house and then he got a month of paternity leave when she gave birth. Of course they may have changed this within the last 4 years so I'm not sure about that anymore.

Out of curiousity, what do you mean? He's trying to join so he can give a better life to me and the baby (and the one on the way). Right now, he works as a waiter at the Cracker Barrel and I work there too part time, but I'm also in school. We make barely enough to get by. I was a military brat, so I know the good it'll do for us. But if you have another point of view, by all means, share.

BTW, I don't think it's a disqualifier for the Army.

Edited to say:

Hyperboy has a nice response for you. I was wrong.

You may also want to check out SG's Military Group.

[Edited on Feb 02, 2005 by slimjim]

I could be off here, but I believe Knights_Cross may be referring to the fact that military personel have a slightly higher chance of being shot at and killed than waiters at Cracker Barrel.

However, I don't know the neighborhood that Cracker Barrel is in...

maybe this will help you out. The spouse is the first dependent, and the second would be the baby, third would be on the way. So yes, husband is disqualified.

[Edited on Feb 03, 2005 by Hyperboy]

Is there any way around this? Say if he gets through the process and signs his contract. I'm really early in the pregnancy right now, so would his contract become null if we then tell the recruiter I'm pregnant?

And thanks for researching that for me.

I just cannot imagine someone signing up for a job that has a very real possibility of death involved when they have a small child and another on the way. I suppose to each their own, but wouldn't you like this man around even if it is hard for you both right now?

With all due respect, are you familiar with military life on a personal level or is your knowledge based on other things? I grew up as a military child. We always had good food on our plates. Sick? Went to the doctor. Tooth ache? Went to the dentist. Sports. Gymnastics. Dance lessons. Good schools. I've seen more of the world than most people will see in their lifetime. Right now? Our daughter has free medical coverage for about three more months. Then it's out of our pockets. We have a toothache? We suffer through it. Sick? Suffer through it. Of course I want him here with me. But I cannot imagine what other opportunities exist for us that can give us a better quality of life.

I'm open for any suggestions/miracles you may have though.

Well, as it states, wavers are possible. He can speak to his recruiter and see. Make sure that he signs up for a job that has a low likelihood of combat. 2 Children and a wife is not something he should want to lose. Don't let him walk headstrong into a combat position. The bonuses seem sometimes too good to pass up. Instead, find a good deskjob.

I am a military brat as well as I have 3 years of Army Infantry under my belt. Trust me when I say, he does NOT want a combat job.

Anyways, I know what you are saying. It is hard to get out of the military lifestyle, there are so many good things that they do for you. The PX/BX and the commisary are such nice bonuses as well.

Good luck to your family. There are still many jobs that are either non-deployable jobs or they are most likely to stay here.

I have ADHD, so if my post seems all over the place, I apologize.

1. I'm pretty sure the recruiter's full of shit.
2. Honesty is not the best policy with recruiters. Usually no matter what you tell them you're going to get in, but the amount you tell them is proportional to the paperwork you have to sign before they let you in. So unless you're a Nazi or are missing a leg it's probably not important to "leave some info out".

sadly, the most waivers are probably given out to people enlisting in combat MOS.
the EASIEST way to get a waiver is to enlist in a job speciality they really need to fill. if the air force needs mechanics really bad, they may be willing to except anything.
i know the air force is real picky with who enters. in fact, after discharge from the marines, the air force recruiter said i had to wait 4 years of civilian life before the air force would let me enlist.

thats the major problem here. the air force sees you as a burden. instead of just getting 1 new member, they are now getting a wife, a kid, and a pregnacy they must pay for.

my advice is, take a current ASVAB (not the high school one). check ALL the recruiters (including coast guard) and find a job that your husband will both enjoy and is in high demand. the recruiters job is to get fresh meat into the service, but you also have to be quality meat. if you dont have recruiters beating down your door, you need to market yourself better.

oh, he took his asvab a couple of days ago and he's already gotten the list of what's available to him.

trust me guys, combat is NOT something he has any interest in. TRUST ME.

And as far as this pregnancy goes, I'm going to see the same civilian doctor I saw for my last pregnancy. No money out of their pockets.

Anyhoo...I really, REALLY appreciate ya'lls input. I went to bed really bummed out last night, but now I feel a glimmer of hope. Plus, our recruiter is a really nice guy...a family guy too so maybe he'll help us out.

Alright. We broke down and called the recruiter. Big sigh of relief. He's gonna have us sign a waiver, but he said we have to get our debt paid off or consolidated. *whew*

Thanks everyone.