worst thing you ever did drunk

Seeing as how its my thread, I'll start out:
I was walking home from a party, and somewhere along the way I skinned my elbow open something serious.
Now, we all know what drunken logic is like. Which is to say, it makes no sense whatsoever, not unless you have been in the thought presence for the last ten minutes or so, and have the mentality of a down syndrome kid. Otherwise anything that seems rational to the drunkard will make no sense to you, the normal, sober viewer.
Anyhow, the last conversation I had at the party I had just left was about God being somehow out to get all of us. I had been talking with this somewhat paranoid freshman, I believe.
And he got to me, to be honest. I got back to my dorm, thinking about what he said. And me, with my skinned elbow, felt I just had to express it.
The stairwells in my dorm worm solid concrete bricks painted over white. A perfect tablet to write on.
I wrote in big letters with the blood oozing from my elbow 'God Hates me' in the stairwell of my dorm. With the blood from my elbow. Picture me rubbing a bloody elbow against a white painted concrete wall.
I can remember right in the middle of writing it a couple from the party came back and said something to me. I turned around and pointed my bloody elbow right at them as I talked. You should have seen how fast they ran away.
Of course, by the time I got back to my room I sobered up enough to realize just how bad an idea that was, so i rushed back and wiped it away.

Who's next?

.shouldn't have stopped drinking in the first place....never turn your back on the bottle...he'll never turn his back on you.

...and btw...god hates us all.

If I ever did anything that awesome, I'd hire a guard to protect it.

Yes, yes, yes, we all know this truistic facts.
Just share Hunter S. Thompson (sans the writing skill) moment or we'll keel hall ya.

ha! two nights ago!

got drunk on 7&7's, drove down to applebee's to pick up some boneless buffalo wings, backed into a red S type jaguar as i was leaving, had the police called on me by a patio waiter, and would you believe i was lucky enough to have A) left nothing as much as a paint scuff on the bumper of the vehicle that the 'owners' were only leasing, and B) having the laziest cop on earth respond to our incident (ie: no sobriety test. he didn't even ask me for my ID)?

basically, i pretty much should have a DUI, but i escaped by the skin of my teeth

[Edited on Jan 18, 2005 by Koenigsegg]

Somehow I don't think the fine institution of Keene State College in Keene, NH would have seen it that way.

At my dorm, there were some loose cinderblocks in the wall of a stairwell. We encouraged everyone who walked by to punch them and within a couple of months there was a hole. They put more bricks in but they got punched out before the mortar could think about drying.

So they put up a huge corkboard over it...

But we all knew there was still a hole back there.

So one drunken trip back to my room I launched myself off of the stairs, fist first into the board and punched a hole through. Realizing how stupid this was, I moved one of the posted papers over the hole.

That night I vaguely remember waking up crying because my hand hurt so bad.

Well, they figured out who did it (luckily somebody else punched another hole that night so I only had to pay half!), but I got an X-ray and it turned out I didn't break my hand. Good times.

slammed my leg in my car door to see how it felt.

I shaved my cat.

Well, parts of him anyway.

went to a party, drank to much thanks to a drinking game... got hammer... sat on the toilet.. proceeded to puke in their sink... got a ride home... puked in a bag a few times on the way home... as i'm meandering to my door... i toss the bag away. full of puke.

i have NO idea what happned to that bag, or if it hit someone's car.

I got a strike while bowling extrememly drunk, and decided to celebrate by dropping to the wooden floor and doing an old school breakdancing backspin. After I started, I realized I don't know how to breakdance, and never did. So it quickly devolved into the curly shuffle, kicking my legs rapidly on my side, spinning in a circle yelling "WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP!!" at the top of my lungs.

broke my buddies face

Apparently when I was 17 I hit on my girlfriend's best friend right in front of her. Now, I don't remember any of this, but I do remember being slumped face first against a Del Taco window, staring at people's yummy yummy tacos - while the owners of said tacos just on the other side of said window stared at me in horror.

I've never hurt myself while drunk, though. That's all I got.

Sliced my finger with a beer bottle in a jacuzzi in Mexico. Locked myself out of the hotel room, tried to climb through the window and tore a huge hole in my pants. My sister and I walked for almost three miles to a 24 hour clinic because it was 3 am and I was gushing blood. Got about 80 stitches and walked back to the hotel and went to bed before our parents woke up. Oh...I was 15, my sister was 12 and on vacation with our entire family.


I kant doo et da spellink.

[Edited on Jan 18, 2005 by delusion]

Here's a story just dying to be told.
Explain further, please.

Now that is a story. A quality story with some real kickass dynamics. Thank you for sharing.

Jesus christ, 80 stitches??? I got STABBED once with a box cutter and only got 5 stiches. Given, it was at an army hospital so was quick & sloppy, but still... I want to see that scar!

[Edited on Jan 18, 2005 by ThisIsWhoWeAre]

I once had intimate relations with an unattractive woman while intoxicated.

skipped school for a week to go to New Orleans got drunk and called my boss/teacher that I was drunk at his favorite bar...
luckily he only laughed at me and didn't really care

Face plant, bike wreck.

On the way walking back from the local bar with some friends I stopped and pissed on the tire of a parked police cruiser.

I pissed in someone's litter box once. I've heard that the cat will freak out and start spraying the house if this happens. I can only hope this was the case.

[.

Yes, yes, yes, we all know this truistic facts.
Just share Hunter S. Thompson (sans the writing skill) moment or we'll keel hall ya.



.say whaaaa?

Punched out a wall at a friends house purely because they said I couldn't. Broke my foot, then walked four miles home (which took four hours).

While trying to find a party at an apartment complex my friend opened the door of a truck. We were shocked that it was open, but elated to find a bowling bag inside with two bowling balls. We tossed the balls down the sidewalks and quickly discovered the pool. Well 2 + 3 = cats and I launched the bowling ball into the pool.

This is the part where you run like hell, not us. We decided to strip down and swim in the pool. The apartment manager was waiving at us from her apartment while calling the cops on her cordless. We all saw her and started waiving back.