eHarmony (or I) suck.

Sadly, my girlfriend and I broke up a few days ago after almost 3 years and so I've been kinda really wrecked. So today, I'm sitting around really bored and stressing and I see that damn eHarmony.com advert on tv, so I decided to say fuckit and fill out the online profile thingee.

I know, I know, but I was feeling shitty. So, hundreds of honest answers and over an hour later I hit "Get Results" and this is what I get:

<b>-----------------------

Unable to Match You at This Time</b>

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive testing of married individuals. One of the requirements for it to work successfully is for participants to fall into our rigorously defined profiles. If we aren't able to match a user well using these profiles, the most considerate approach is to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching system is not suitable for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply would not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand that we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

<b>-----------------------</b>

So, pretty much that means that not even some ugly chick in the middle of no-place would have my sad ass. Like a knife in the ribs. *twist*

Fuck eHamony.com

eHarmony only matches conservative christian republicans interested in getting married and making lots of babies. so if you aren't that, that could be your problem.

I was going to say, isn't that a mainly family-centric, Christian-centric website?

Try the Yahoo! personals instead, perhaps.

Aww fuck it, a bottl;e of uncle jack and and a car chase are what you need. Suck it up, your most likely pretty cool, I mean look at where your posting right...RIGHT!? anywhoo grab some friends go out and have fun, 'cause honestly love only waits until your not looking. so fuck 'em and their machine.

Fuck that.

Let's go get you some Revenge!

But, if you want a similar site, try this

try a bar

Or maybe get over your girlfriend before turning to the internet, drinking or Nelson.

Several of my friends, all of whom would make awesome mates, have seen that same result at eHarmony. I actually see it as a feature, rather than a bug. eHarmony works for people who are easily categorized into the partitions that the designers came up with. The thing is, lots of interesting people don't fit neatly into one of those categories.

Example: start a thread here (or dig up the 43945720485792 existing ones) that says "who here is emo, and why?", and you'll get a massive flame war in which people disagree about just one category. Now consider that eHarmony claims to have "29 dimensions" or some bullshit, and you start to see how inadequate such schemes are. At least the Good Christian Folks at eHarmony are willing to own up to that their system has limitations. It gives me some confidence in that they don't intend to just make shit up in order to turn a dime.

I got the EXACT same response when I filled out their profile thingie. Glad to see I'm not the only unlovable freak!

Don't sweat it, come play with the rest of us freaks.

Don't feel bad... after all, Bjork wants you.

Unless that's just a big lie too.

OKCupid is free and has the best matching system, profiles, and picture areas I've ever seen. You can fill out *thousands* of questions, and it matches you to people who fill out similar answers and have similar priorities (you rate your answers with things like "mandatory" and "somewhat important"). I'm still amazed it's free.

wow, you mean i'm not the only twisted, unwanted social misfit in the world...happenin'

love it

My brother certainly isn't what I would call Christian and he met his wife on there. Anecdotal (sp?) evidence to the contrary perhaps.....

It rejected me though.....

[Edited on Jan 13, 2005 by somethin1919]

I tried to fill out their online profile thing, and then I got really really bored. Seriously, how long is that goddamned thing??? Like I actually care about the damned response, I just want to see if it pairs me with any hot chicks. I'd still just sit around and whack off, but I'd feel sexier doing it.

that's a good song, dude.

nah, it's official policy. they want to build families, so they match up people with traditional family values-- as defined by them. which is great, don't get me wrong. like threejane said, it probably works better for some people that your average match site. but even if it has two perfectly compatible people in the system who are interested in, say, casual sex, murder and alcoholism, it won't match them up.

I learned all this from a radio interview with the founders I heard one boring day at work.

wow

I didn't know all that





I now find those commercials even more annoying

Sounds like "some ugly chick" is missing out on a real prince of a guy.

I second that. Plus the guy in the commercial is a goon.

Damn. So... does this mean that eHarmony are nazi's supporting and breeding perfect conservative families? It's a conspiracy I tell you!


[Edited on Jan 13, 2005 by crazypills]

E-Harmony is the Aryan nation of dating. Same thing happened to me. Fuck 'em.

That's odd, I filled out my application and they hooked me up with one of the most beautiful, smart and interesting people ever....


... Haha, just kidding. E-harmony blows.