sometimes work can be amusing

i work at a bar and theres this girl who comes in all the time and is in love with me. one of the bartenders gave her my number cuz he thought it would be funny, she text messages me all the time. she has a friend who is really hot, she apparently has a crush on me too but has never said anything because of her friend. so tonight in the bar the girl and her friend (lets call them sue and deb) where there. and there was another girl in the bar (we'll call her amy) not with them. well amy is a good friend of mine and she always pretends to hit on me, so as pre usual she was hitting on me, sue was getting very angry, eventually sue ended up saying something to amy. amy started yelling at her. i came over and asked what the hell was going on. sue starts yelling at me. i say hey, calm down, i don't think theres any need for that. finally deb comes over and says sue, stop it, derek is not going to fuck you so just stop. sue asks why not. deb says cuz if he's gonna fuck anyone tonight its gonna be me. amy says fuck that and grabs my cock. my boss comes over and says are you and amy gonna need to use the beer room again. sue starts to cry and runs away, deb looks at me and says derek, i'm gonna call you later and walks out. amy let go of my cock and went back to her drink. now here is where i tell you that debs dad is a warlock (in case you don't know its a biker clan and they kinda don't fuck around) and he is in the bar often, so a couple hours later, will (a friend of debs dad and a fellow warlock) comes in and says to me, so, i hear you got somethin goin with deb. i said fuck no i don't do i look like an idiot. he says i promise, you take her out and buy her a couple drinkss and you'll see what happens. i asked if i was gonna dissapear. he starts to laugh and says no, she's a whore you will totally have the best sex ever. i said oh, i thought i was dead there for a minute. then he says oh no we will totally kill you but believe me it might be worth it. then we had a good laught and i bought him a beer.

ah work, how i do love you at times.


new word for the day 'bunny bun buns' use it to express pleasure in something.

i.e.- man this burrito, fuckin bunny bun buns

i know what you're thinkin, that shit is gay, but trust me say it a few times it'll stick with ya.

[Edited on Jan 11, 2005 by CaptBlackHeart]

holy wow

biker gang man pimps out his daughter to his friends or at least she has sex with all of them while you have psyco ladies fighting over you? the only place this story will end up is a cold ditch somewhere

I think you've got a made-for-TV movie there, friend.

i'll stick to working at a fast food japenese place for now.

and having my odd co workers crazy ways of getting paid 25k, to help bring a person into canada, illegally.

And that movie will undoubtedly be on Lifetime TV.

But all the men have to wear wife-beaters and Jane Seymour has to be in it.

As for Deb and Sue and Amy...What the hell? How am I supposed to remember these fake names through the whole story? Just say 'skeeze0', 'skeeze1', and 'my friend'.