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Jule

Jule

Pompano Beach, FL
September 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:06 PM

So my friend (not me, honestly, because I know what I would do in this situation) thought she was pregnant and came to my house to take the test and all. Turns out it was negative and she's not pregnant, but she's decided to keep it all under wraps and not tell her boyfriend. Her logic is that it is negative so what's the point in needlessly worrying him about it? They've been dating for a long while but aren't ready for kids or anything.


My question is this: Guys, if your g/f thought she was pregnant and found out she wasn't, would you still want to know about her going through the motions of taking the test and whatnot, or is ignorance bliss?

smile

PS: Sorry to any guy that saw the topic and clicked this in the hopes of a rate-my-boobs type of a thread. wink

[Edited on Dec 26, 2004 by Avalari]

cyanide81

cyanide81

USA
August 2002

DEC 26, 2004 08:07 PM

i would want to know so we could be more careful

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:07 PM

ignorance=bliss

supergp

supergp

Seattle, WA
February 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:13 PM

Knowing is half the battle, and is all that works in interpersonal relationships.

Yes. He needs to know. Now. Because that means that she's not on birth control. It's not fair to him not to know.

Especially since guys pretty much have no rights after conception.

Jule

Jule

Pompano Beach, FL
September 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:18 PM

supergp said:
Knowing is half the battle, and is all that works in interpersonal relationships.

Yes. He needs to know. Now. Because that means that she's not on birth control. It's not fair to him not to know.

Especially since guys pretty much have no rights after conception.



Oh, no, she's on the pill and they used a condom...so she says. Believe it or not it is still possible to get pregnant with all that.

katiebarthedoor

katiebarthedoor

Louisville, KY
December 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:19 PM

i would be so pissed if that was kept from me.
pissed at everyone who knew and diddnt say anything.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:20 PM

Avalari said:

supergp said:
Knowing is half the battle, and is all that works in interpersonal relationships.

Yes. He needs to know. Now. Because that means that she's not on birth control. It's not fair to him not to know.

Especially since guys pretty much have no rights after conception.



Oh, no, she's on the pill and they used a condom...so she says. Believe it or not it is still possible to get pregnant with all that.



That one has to say "believe it or not" before that statement worries me.

Keith

Keith

Hooker, OK
August 2002

DEC 26, 2004 08:21 PM

Depends on if she'd mentioned she was worrying about it. If she hadn't mentioned the subject at all, I wouldn't feel the need to hear about it. If I knew she was worrying about it, or that it was a possibility, I'd want to hear the results.

ReverendBenzo

ReverendBenzo

Savannah, GA
September 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:21 PM

hrtbrkwthcyanide said:
i would want to know so we could be more careful



Agreed. The pregnancy scare is never fun.

AndrewB

AndrewB

Victoria, BC
August 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:21 PM

I'd want to know.

thelastbeliever

thelastbeliever

United Kingdom
January 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:22 PM

Being the worrying type i think i would rather not know.

Thats just me though.

manual

manual

Canada
November 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:26 PM

I don't need to know.

I've gotten someone pregnant who was on the pill, and know another new mother who concieved on the pill, and yet another mother-to-be that concieved on the pill. So its very possible.

On the flip side, I have told my wife that whenever she wants to have a baby, don't tell me about it and just stop taking the pill. I don't really want to know, or do any of that 'trying to have a baby' stuff.

ScarredAngel

ScarredAngel

Arlington, TX
May 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:26 PM

I would definately want to know. Absolutely. Positively.

Kyoujin470

kyoujin470

Port Orange, FL
January 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:30 PM

ignorance=bliss

katiebarthedoor

katiebarthedoor

Louisville, KY
December 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:34 PM

Kyoujin470 said:
ignorance=bliss


unwanted pregnancy=screwed

Hiro_Protagonist

Hiro_Protagonist

Philadelphia, PA
December 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:34 PM

My question is, if she and this guy have been going out for a while, shouldn't she feel comftorable enough to turn to hm with a pregnancy scare and not a friend? He shouldn't have to hear about it second hand after it's "safe" and she's not pregnant, he should have known about it from the start to be there for his gal.

Hiro_Protagonist

Hiro_Protagonist

Philadelphia, PA
December 2004

DEC 26, 2004 08:35 PM

My question is, if she and this guy have been going out for a while, shouldn't she feel comftorable enough to turn to hm with a pregnancy scare and not a friend? He shouldn't have to hear about it second hand after it's "safe" and she's not pregnant, he should have known about it from the start to be there for his gal.

James88

James88

West Chester, PA
February 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:35 PM

I had this happen to me.

after initially feeling upset about not being told about a close call, I had to finally admit I would have just worried myself sick.

In the long run I don't think it would have affected our relationship either way.

supergp

supergp

Seattle, WA
February 2003

DEC 26, 2004 08:45 PM

Condom and the pill, but she's still worried? She must have reason to be. Tell him. He has a moral right to know.

Of course, she should be the one to tell him, but she DOES need to tell him unless she's taking the pregnancy test for no reason. But I doubt she was taking it for fun, so.....

ephexis

ephexis

I'm lost
September 2004

DEC 26, 2004 09:12 PM

Stuff like that shouldn't be kept under wraps. She should always share with him when she's afraid she might be pregnant. I've knew a girl who didn't share it with her guy and he later found out from a third party. It made him trust her less. It was really sad.

4nik8

4nik8

USA
January 2004

DEC 26, 2004 09:21 PM

altough i think you read the posts and will not look....
I think her concern should be shared ... reality is a good slap in the face sometimes. I hateit when chicks that try to freak you out before checking but the other way around I would think is just emotional sharing.

manual

manual

Canada
November 2004

DEC 26, 2004 09:21 PM

Well, since they were using protection, it's seems obvious the reason she worried, and had the pregnancy test, was that something hinted her into the possibility of being pregnant. Like a late period, or other possible symptoms.

It's not like she should inform the guy after her period is one day late, or 2 days late, etc. But the time she would've found out, she would already have been withholding her suspicions for a few days.

And in some cases, scares like this could scare the fella outta there. Especially if it creates dialogue about "what would you have done if it was positive?", etc.



[Edited on Dec 26, 2004 by manualD]

Jule

Jule

Pompano Beach, FL
September 2004

DEC 26, 2004 09:25 PM

manualD said:

And in some cases, scares like this could scare the fella outta there. Especially if it creates dialogue about "what would you have done if it was positive?", etc.



[Edited on Dec 26, 2004 by manualD]




Um, I agree with all that except the last part. If some guy is going to be scared off because he can't take responsibility for his actions, then fuck him and she's better off without him. I'd rather know what a guy would do in such a situation because I think it tells you what a man is really made of.

MrStitches

MrStitches

Brooklyn, NY
November 2003

DEC 26, 2004 09:27 PM

Yeah, I'd like to know.
Secrets are lame.
Besides, the feeling you get when you think something terrible has happened, like you knocked up your girlfriend, and then you find out it was just a false alarm is awesome. Ultimate relief.

[Edited on Dec 27, 2004 by MrStitches]

supergp

supergp

Seattle, WA
February 2003

DEC 26, 2004 09:31 PM

Almost forgot the most important part- if the guy is worth a damn, he'll help her through the scary bit.

And if he's not, she doesn't want to be pregnant anyway. Either way, he needs to know.

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