Ladies, is it cool for a guy to go to a bar alone?

I walked into a fairly crowded bar/restaurant and didn't see anyone I knew, but while standing next to the door I had a few words with a cute girl who was coming in from a cigarette break. She went and sat down and I was wondering what it would look like if I sat down at the bar and had a drink. Now, this is something I was thinking of doing anyway, but I didn't know if it looked lame for a guy to show up and have a drink by himself at a cool bar at about 1:00 AM.

bah, who cares, as long as you dont look uncomfortable...

i think most people are usually more concerned with how they appear to others than how other people appear. they may give it some thought for like a second ("oh, he's alone"), but inevitably the thoughts will go back to themselves ("oh, i wonder if look fat in this outfit").

if you're still concerned about it:
A.) you look like David Boreanaz of Angel. in other words, relax, they're probably checking you out in a good way.
B.) you're at a bar. down a few shots of Jack Daniel's. you won't give a fuck if people are looking at you, sitting there alone.

I'd like to be able to do this more. Frankly, I think I do better when I'm alone because by the time I'm drunk enough to speak, I'm usually alone anyway...

I do a lot of things alone. It doesn't mean I'm lame, I'm just comfortable in my own company. In fact, I'm about to take myself out to breakfast, and then go to a movie alone.

If I thought about other people's perception of me when I'm out alone, I guess they'd probably think I'm self assured. It really doesn't matter to me.

It's probably better to be alone than to have some guy pointing and giggling at you from a distance, yelling "Go on my son!" and making obscene arm movements.

I've never met a woman who likes that.

Like velocity said, I as well do a lot of things alone. I actually enjoy watching movies alone, and going out to restaurants alone. When you do this, I dunno, you learn more about yourself.. in my opinion that is. Not to mention, you enjoy a film much more. As for the drinking, I'm not sure. I do it sometimes, but I never let anyone know I'm alone and miserable. I make it seem I'm enjoying myself.

I've never been to a bar/pub alone in my hometown. But I can also count the number of times I've been to a bar or pub at all in my hometown on one hand. If I am in a new (to me) town, or in a foreign country I don't worry about being seen alone in a bar at all. I have frequently gone to bars outside of my home country alone and not been bothered. I generally think "I don't give a fuck what the locals think, I'm new here." Or "I'm a foreigner, give me some leeway".

I've felt the least 'awkward' being in a bar alone in the US and Korea. The US because whenever I've been there they've really dug my accent once the locals talked to me, and Korea because they've really dug my skin colour before they even talked to me. (I don't look like a Korean, so I am Brad Pitt/David Beckham)

I lack the self confidence to hang out in a bar alone in my home country though. When I've done it whilst killing time or waiting for a friend I've felt, or at least imagined, everyone staring at me and wondering who the fuck the loner is. I've always been too self-conscious though, I should just learn to not give a fuck. There's nothing wrong with it.

-BD

I travel alot and move alot so I go out alone alot...It was akward at first but you get used to it...if you don't know anyone, you will be awfully bored sitting around your apartment or hotel room doing nothing.

I'd rather a guy be at a bar alone than with 5 of his obnoxious friends.

It seems like anytime I'm out and start talking to somebody, if it gets fucked up, it's not usually that person's fault, but that of someone they're with. (i.e. we're talking and your boy comes up and tells you about some "hot bitch" over there or so-and-so "that chick i banged last night".) Yes, this happens. You can tell a lot about a person from the company they keep.

Sometimes when I'm alone I like to sit and drink and grab at imaginary painful wounds in my abdomen. occasionally looking around to see if anyone is freaked out by it.

Drunken fun.

And fuck it. If I'm paying 3 times as much to go out to drink why not .

i usually go out alone. you don't have to worry about when the other people you are with wanna leave, or feel bad for ditching early and goin someplace else...plus it's easier to meet new people if your not involved in coversation with the clique you came with.

What's lamer ? Trying and not suceeding or not trying at all ?

I would not think that was lame at all. I would think it's cool that he's comfortable doing things like that on his own.....if he's sitting there obviously uncomfortable, and obviously thinking to himself "god, i'm such a loser for being here alone", then I would probably feel kind of bad for him.

I hate going out by myself. I wish I could.

Heh. The one friend I will go with to clubs doesn't understand why I'm not keen on his friends tagging along as well, and this is precisely the reason. It's bad enough having a friend's obnoxiousness reflect poorly on me, but to have non-friends reflecting on me as well sucks. The line "I don't even know that guy!" seems a wee bit lame...

Yes.

I like going to bars alone, thats how you meet people. I also Like going to farely nice restaraunts alone.

Going with friends can be a drag. You get into all these problems with transportation, and groups tend to get stale.

Some of the most fascinating people I've ever met I met while alone in bars/clubs. It's a dynamic all unto it. When you're in a group, no one new wants to meet you, at least if you're a guy, they just leave you be in your group. But if you look interesting and are alone, people want to meet you, at least to give you some company.

It's not what you do, of course, but how you do it. When I'm alone, I am my source of fun and energy. I am my own nuclear reactor. That's what's key: focusing on yourself.

On the other hand, after spending years going to bars/clubs alone, I now try to go in groups. I still like to go out alone, but good company is good.

(I used to go solo to movies and restaurants all the time)

I think the best situtation for going out alone in a big public setting is when there is some sort of show or spectacle that pulls everyone's attention in one direction. In that case, people assume you're just there to see something. Even a restaurant is different too, because you are engaged in the act of eating.

Being in a bar is different though unless you are thinking "I need to be drinking!" If I went in alone, it would be there just to hang out.

I think your purpose (as outwardly evidenced) might make a difference. For instance, if you were sitting at the bar alone and clearly cruising for chicks, trying to talk up all the girls around you, or casting out some sort of "I'm here to cruise" vibe, it would be weird. If I was at a bar and noticed a guy doing that, I would probably make a conscious effort to avoid him or any attention he might throw my way. However, if you're just there hanging out, sipping a beer, minding your own business, that's a different story. You would probably either fly under the radar, or even emanate levels of coolness solely for being comfortable enough to do that. In that case, I wouldn't be surprised if a girl initiated conversation with you. It's a fine line between creepy and normal, but I really think it all depends on what your outward "purpose" is, so to speak.

it makes perfect sense to me, i'm the same way.

i don't think there's anything wrong with a guy, or girl for that matter, going to a bar alone. i've done it. the only thing that keeps me from going to a bar alone where i don't know anyone is that at least one guy without fail ends up talking to me. if i'm at a bar alone it means i want to be left alone.

but since my brother is GM of a restaurant, i end up going to his bar 99% of the time ... for the company and the free drinks.

as long as you're comfortable being alone, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

BUT if you're there to look for a girl to hookup with, it's very apparent. and usually a better deterrent than bathing in skunk juice.

[Edited on Dec 18, 2004 by pandamonium]