NEWS: Jesus Died For Your Presents: Recruitment Drive 2005

CULTURE: Jesus Died For Your Presents: Recruitment Drive 2005

Evangelical Christians are beginning their holiday proselytizing this year by tapping into the Republican piggybank of the “moral mandate” created during the election.

If enough evangelical churches are able to convert 10,000 people in each blue state, church missionaries will receive a toaster oven in time for the holidays.

*sigh*

more like downward spiral to the right

A toaster oven!?! Hell, I'll start converting people!!! Someone send me a box of poptarts!! I'm going heathen-hunting!!

I really like the headline

Ah yes, boycott stores for saying seasons greetings when they get sued for being insensitive to minority groups when they say merry christmas.

And here I thought this was going to be a report on perverting the teachings of Jesus into rabid consumerism. Silly me.

so.. this mandate to venture to the right, that was very narrowly ahead of the mandate to fire the right wing dickwad, is enough of a cause to boytcott the stores that say seasons greetings? wtf... so everyone in the US is a christian now? everyone MUST celebrate christmas-- because the melting pot means that by entering the US, you are officially a god-fearing christian and must abide by all rules and regulations heretofor applicable. heh.

You wonder why the Romans took pleasure in watching these people being mauled by animals.

:lol: Sick and wrong. But so so funny.

Seriously, these people are seriously overestimating the "mandate" they got. I think Dubya won because there are still too many people who seriously believe Iraq is about terrorism, not because they want to fight a culture war.

WAKE UP

That is some stupid shit, yes I am a Christian but NO I dont want these flaming assholes speaking for me.
The far right is just as bad as the far left, moderation is what works in this country, not everyone is Christian if you want to learn about Christ go to church, if you want to learn about Islam go to a mosque otherwise stay off the sidewalk!

So when people say 'right-minded', do they mean 'right-wing minded' or 'correctly-minded'? I've always thought it was the latter, but when I was reading this I realized it could be the first. (I guess I've only heard right-wingers say it....)

Sorry to post off-topic, but I really want to know...

Toaster oven somehow equals George W? He is sort of a toater oven?

Sorta makes sense......... actually, I get sick to my tummy the first week of every damn December, knowing these guys are a'coming.

I really hope all these holier-than-thou fundies aren't bringing those pagan pine trees into their houses this holiday season.

No I don't.

What's really disturbing, is that these jack-wads, these pathetic piles of fucking waste, are framing their religious battle in terms of FUCKING SHOPPING!!!!!!!!

They want to put the fucking Christ back in fucking Christmas? Here's a thought: GIVE YOUR MONEY AND YOUR SHIT TO THE POOR AND GO PREACH LOVE AND TOLERANCE!!!!!! Cause I don't recall that part in the New Testament where Christ says to go out into the world and FUCKING SHOP IN MY FUCKING NAME!!!!!!!!

God, how I wish Sam Kinnison were here!!!!! Ahhhhh!! Ahhhhh!!!!

It's hard to believe that people this stupid and delusional can even hold down jobs that pay enough to shop at Macy's.

Fuck these people. And if you voted for Bush and helped out with this "Mandate," take your fucking "But I'm a libertarian" bullshit and shove it up your ass. I hope Santa gives you a Goddamn lump of coal in your stocking this year.

Rant over. Carry on.

I wonder why we ever stopped. That would be something on TV worth watching.

Commerce is the real battleground, always. Remember our first orders from our President after 9/11? Go shopping!

Upon closer inspection, the fight for "moral values" is heavily rooted in the fact that christian media doesn't sell as well as secular media. When people 'pray' with their dollars, Christianity most often loses.

I'll give the benefit of the doubt and say it's about the message not the money, but that still makes market saturation the objective, as much as any other industry.

"So, what do you want for Christmas, young man?"

"I want a country with no right-wingers stinking up the political system."

(awkward pause)

"You'll put your eye out, kid."

(taps head with boot)

I hear what you're saying about the message. But what message are they sending?

I'm not even sure anymore.

You could couch the entire effort as "Anti-Secular, Pro-Christian" as a good starting point, eg. it's not "Happy Holidays" it's "Merry Christmas". From there it can get pretty fragmented, especially since selling the products is the vector. It's gotten to the point of "Flavor of the Week" with much sacred media, which is consistent with a market saturation effort. Diversify.

Keep shopping, Jesus loves you, you love him, you love the government, it loves you because you love Jesus... shop, shop, shop... pay no mind to the horrors around, shop in the name of the lord....

p.s. every time you shop at a store that doesn't scream merry Christmas baby Jesus gets slapped with dirty penis.