Hi all Mac here, I went for a run today in a park and was really looking forward to being able to run in the shade of the many tall trees that populate the park (Thiers almost more trees that homless...I know! Thats a ton!)

Well as it would have it (it being those wooded ass colums of woody stupidness), Most of the godamn trees knew I was coming and got rid of all thier leaves. So thier I am running all hot from the blistering sun, and mother fucking nature and her bitchy branchy cohorts are totally laughing thier fucking roots off because Macbastard is running in the direct sunlight.

They couldent hav just been all nice like they are to those dumb squirrls who probably jack them off when were all asleep...Noooo, They had to be all silly and crafty....Well trees, you can take your smugness and go straight to hell-forest!

It made me so mad I wanted to fuck every tree right up thier knotholes. I wanted to tear thier many now non leaf bearing arms off and set up a ultrasonic reciver so I can hear thier cloryiphily screams.

I will never plant a tree in my front yard...Or maby I will and on its 10th birthday chop it down with an axe and use the hollowed out stump for a toilet.

So the next time you pick a delicious apple off of a sweet , pleasent tree, remember, those Xylem filled whoreseeds, probably made extra sure that that apple was filld with what ever trees shit.

Maclumberjack

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

DEC 14, 2004 01:46 PM

Where I come from, trees have needles.

Snottlebocket

Netherlands

March 2004

DEC 14, 2004 01:46 PM

it's not the trees fault you don't know your seasons

Hussein

I'm lost

March 2004

DEC 14, 2004 01:49 PM

Al said:
Where I come from, trees have needles.

sounds like a tough neighborhood. do they drop vials in the fall?

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ

June 2003

DEC 14, 2004 01:49 PM

Do not anger the trees. They will fall down and knock out your power lines and disrupt your internet access.

Not to mention, without trees, where would we get those cool little wooden spoon thingies for eating italian ices?

B57913

I'm lost

May 2004

DEC 14, 2004 01:53 PM

pygmy

Portland, OR

July 2004

DEC 14, 2004 01:56 PM

This tree doesn't need to fuck itself.

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

DEC 14, 2004 02:02 PM

Snottlebocket said:
it's not the trees fault you don't know your seasons

Hey, we're in Southern California, we're not supposed to have seasons. It's clearly just the trees being stupid bitches. They do that, you know, trick you into thinking they'll have leaves all winter long... "Oh, yeah, look at me, it's fucking December 8th and I've got all my leaves and they're barely changing colors," and then right when you're depending on them, BAM, they drop their leaves just to fuck with you.

unnecessaryz

Astoria, NY

July 2003

DEC 14, 2004 02:03 PM

mydogfarted said:
Not to mention, without trees, where would we get those cool little wooden spoon thingies for eating italian ices?

You can enjoy your fruity dessert from the end of my wang, hippy. Fuck trees.

Grae

United Kingdom

December 2004

DEC 14, 2004 02:05 PM

Yeah, tress, I mean oh my giod where the fuck do they get off, all they do is supply is with oxygen and keep ground good for crops, and who the fuck needs oxygen and food when we have the internet :o

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

DEC 14, 2004 02:05 PM

I can hear the Maples scream "Oppression" right now.