How to drive in Washington DC

Tourist's Guide To Driving Around Washington D.C.

My personal favorite:

The far left lanes on all interstates are official "chat" lanes reserved for drivers who wish to talk on their cell phones.
Note: All mini-vans have priority clearance to use the far left at whatever speed the driver feels most comfortable multitasking in (it's not a mini-van, it's a bullet on wheels with a TV).



Totally true though. My boyfriend is from a town in Maryland about 15 miles outside of DC and after spending many a weeks of "vacation" over the past 4 years driving around down there, I can now understand & appreciate how funny this really is.

Bah!

Now wait just a minute here. When I was in Beantown, I saw people simply fly into traffic circles without yielding. I was scared shitless. Also, when folks had a green turn signal, about 10 cars went after it turned red. I'm not saying DC driving is great, but please tell me you think Boston driving is bad too. I haven't been to RI, so I have no idea about it.

And ps--North Carolina drivers are the worst. Period.

Amen - preach ON sister

Might I add:

Assume that YOU always have the right of way in ALL situations, and proceed accordingly.

Never, EVER, allow ANYONE onto the roadway from a side street/lot/whatever. Always speed up and glare at them for their nerve of trying to get somewhere.

Never hesitate to come to an abrut stop while in the far right lane and make a sudden left turn across three lanes of traffic.

I tell you - by the time I get to work....my mood is

Coming from the NYC metro area, another mecca for stupid drivers, I will say this:
DC drivers suck ass, but no one regional group of drivers blow more monkey dick then Bostonians. Chowdah heads are the worst.

I think our "official" name is MASShole.

North Carolina drivers are pretty bad, but they're not malicious about it, unlike Bostonions who are clearly trying to kill you.

Did your spider sense start tingling when I posted?

i admit it. I am a shitty driver. Never been in a wreck tho.

i think it boils down to this: almost everyone is a shitty driver. the dangerous ones are those who think they're great.

I actually don't think that driving in the city is that bad; it's the beltway that's insane.

I too am a horrific driver. But have never been in a wreck (or gotten a ticket even. must go knock on wood. *runs*)

And there's been whole lists made about us Ohio drivers, so I think something can be said about everyone's driving skills.

North Carolinian and Marylander drivers make the baby Jesus cry.

I have to drive five hours from NoVA to NC to get to school, and it's like as soon as I cross the border they all lose their minds. It's always the pick-up trucks that are doing 90 mph and the Porsches that are doing 55. The speeders drive in the right lane and the snails drive in the left lane, and not a damn one of them uses their turn signals.

But so far? No one's surpassed the mass suckitude of the Costa Ricans. Only it somehow works for them because they're all aware that everyone else is insane, so they somehow manage to defy physics and not die. It was TERRIFYING being on the road down there.

People scare me.

My suggestion is don't. Take the Metro.

I was going to say that. That's what I do (though the Red Line has been pretty painful for the last year or so)

BWahaha....that's pretty good. I haven't done much driving outside Nevada and California, but hte highways inbetween here and there are pretty hilarious sometimes

Oh, you mean Californians, then?

Oh, the article covers that nicely:

Bostonians know how to deal with a traffic circle. It's in DC where they have to put traffic lights at EVERY SPOKE. It can take you five minutes to get through Logan Circle with no traffic whatsoever because of those fuckers.

Clearly you've never driven in Phoenix traffic, sir.

I wish I had machine guns mounted on my front fenders.

[Edited on Dec 14, 2004 by punk]

By all means, Logan Circle is a bitch. But seriously, I'd rather sit in the lights than have SUVs plowing in.

That would be correct.

Is it bad that I immediately think of my friend Sam?

Detroit has you all beat.

95mph with one car length between them, potholes that swallow Volkswagens, shitloads of road salt so everything rusts to pieces, and no state inspection, so those burned out taillights don't get fixed for years.

Atlanta doesn't seem so bad anymore. The people here just don't know how to drive, they're not aggressive or anything.