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crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

DEC 09, 2004 11:28 PM

No, they're not Star Wars blaster lasers, but rather the kind used in a "Laser Floyd" show.

Terrorists may seek to down aircraft by shining powerful lasers into cockpits to blind pilots during landing approaches, U.S. officials warned in a bulletin distributed nationwide.

Now that's just plain fucked up.

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

DEC 10, 2004 06:01 AM

I hear they're going to attach them to their freakin' heads.

EDIT: This will be about as effective as throwing Marshmallows on to the landing strip to make their tires so sticky they can't take off. This sounds like a joke to me.

[Edited on Dec 10, 2004 by Idjiit]

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:02 AM

shouldn't it be relatively easy to keep loons of a airport landing strip for those huge planes?
it kind of sounds like america is describing every destructive scenario they can come up with as something the terrorists are actually planning rather than something america thought up they could do.

[Edited on Dec 10, 2004 3:03PM]

cop_n_blow

cop_n_blow

I'm lost
July 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:09 AM

Idjiit said:
I hear they're going to attach them to their freakin' heads.

EDIT: This will be about as effective as throwing Marshmallows on to the landing strip to make their tires so sticky they can't take off. This sounds like a joke to me.

[Edited on Dec 10, 2004 by Idjiit]



are they ill-tempered?

Mallory

Mallory

SUICIDEGIRL

Connecticut, USA

DEC 10, 2004 06:14 AM

what? this is wacky

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:17 AM

the more i think about it the more stupid it sounds, you'd have to have insanely good aim and luck to hit the pilot in the eyes and even then i doubt a pilot would just yank the controll stick carreening the whole plane of the runway.

NEMESIS26

NEMESIS26

Conyers, GA
August 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:25 AM

they could attach them to the heads of sharks off the coast of california and when the planes come in the "lasers" will blind the pilots. muuuhaaaaa


something sounds familiar about this.

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:31 AM

Apparently, CNN has been reading Tom Clancy books....

A while ago on /. something like this was posted, and a bunch of scientists posted why this wasn't technicaly feasible. Mainly it was issues with the wavelength of the laser used, power output, and the laser dissipating as it traveled.

However, one guy estimated it could be done with a laser/powersupply small enough to be transported in the bed of a small truck. So realistically, this wont happen

[Edited on Dec 10, 2004 6:33AM]

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:32 AM

Don't US soldiers have "laser goggles" now to protect against this sort of thing? Or it that just sniper sights? Or tank commanders?

I agree that the risk sounds minute; you need a strong enough laser, and the right angle, to do any damage.

They could do a lot more damage by just destroying a runway or two. They wouldn't even need to destroy any planes; one plane a minute leaves Heathrow so the disruption caused by having a runway closed would be pretty huge.

If they managed to get some radioactive gunk in there they could call it a dirty bomb and scare people. It wouldn't have to be that much gunk, just enough to make the gieger counters click.

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:34 AM

Heh, you might think it's a joke, but there is a $2.8 billion project for "laser defense goggles".
Rockwell Scientific Eyes Big Contract

Eyewear that will protect Air Force crews from temporarily or permanently being blinded by laser weapons is being developed under a $2.8 million development contract at Rockwell Scientific Co. LLC, a company official said.

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:34 AM

demetrius_z said:
Don't US soldiers have "laser goggles" now to protect against this sort of thing? Or it that just sniper sights? Or tank commanders? .



Spy satellites and fighter pilot goggles feature a substance that will block all light when it detects a laser, IIRC.

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

DEC 10, 2004 06:39 AM

Hey, in case anyone missed it - you no longer need to actually see the runway to land a plane. kthxbye

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:41 AM

They are also going to sit right behind the pilot and shout reeeallly loud when the plane is about to land. They also do this when the opposing team is shooting free throws (with limited success, i might add).

alpha_hazard

alpha_hazard

Fort Collins, CO
April 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:44 AM

somehow I find it hard to belive that laser show lasers that your local plane-arium use are enough to blind pilots.

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

DEC 10, 2004 06:45 AM

Idjiit said:
Hey, in case anyone missed it - you no longer need to actually see the runway to land a plane. kthxbye


Don't you have to see the controls?

TheRealTexaSGuy

TheRealTexaSGuy

Tacoma, WA
December 2003

DEC 10, 2004 06:47 AM

This is so stupid, who the hell even gave this attention in the national media?

The second a pilot had trouble seeing the runway, he'd just pull up and try again. If he went blind, for some reason, he'd still just pull up and pass off to the co-pilot, who'd likely figure out what happened and go to a different landing strip and/or airport.

There's really no way for this to work. Landing an airplane isn't like parking a car; there is no critical moment where the suddenly lose of sight will cause an accident. Once the plane is lined up with the runway and the descent speed is set, and the gear is down, any fucking idiot could land a plane. And consider that it takes about ten or fifteen minutes to get the plane ready for a landing, and once it's done, that it's. Now aborting a landing is a very easy thing to do, as well, taking all the effort of pulling back on the yoke and gunning the engines.

Now if they used how powered laser beams to blow out the tires or cut off a wing, then I'd be worried. But blinding a pilot? Jeez, come on!

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

DEC 10, 2004 07:44 AM

somewhere some arab is waving his little laser pointer pen at jet fighters passing in the stratosphere after reading this and realising "holy shit that could work!"

Koenigsegg

Koenigsegg

I'm lost
July 2004

DEC 10, 2004 07:47 AM

unless there are, say, 30 terrorists shining 30 lasers at the cockpit of an aircraft, what is the likelihood of this ever working. take a laser pointer and shine it at a wall 20 feet from you. notice how the slightest movement of your wrist makes the dot bounce and jerk erratically. now imagine being hundreds and hundreds of feet away from a moving target and trying to get a bead on it.

witchhunter

witchhunter

Jackson, TN
February 2003

DEC 10, 2004 07:48 AM

Don't worry, they'll never hit the pilot, just the dirt around him. Cobr... I mean, "the terrorists"have always had bad aim.

Go Joe!

r00kers

r00kers

Nederland, CO
February 2003

DEC 10, 2004 07:49 AM

Yellow Light!

Orange Light!

Blue Light Special!

From the morons who brought you the traffic light of terror comes another terrific idea. For so many reasons it is moronic to speculate what terrorists might do because there are so many possibilities. We might try some intelligence gathering to actually find out what their muses are whispering to them, but just speculating is almost pointless.

Having worked a lot with lasers, I can also say that this is almost impossible to accomplish.

thelost

thelost

United Kingdom
June 2004

DEC 10, 2004 08:01 AM

well at least they can throw a good party after they fail to do exactly anything with their fancy schmancy lasers.

what next, sharks with frikkin lasers on their heads?

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

DEC 10, 2004 08:07 AM

They're only going to succeed in attracting every cat within ten square miles.

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

DEC 10, 2004 08:12 AM

Sorcha said:
They're only going to succeed in attracting every cat within ten square miles.



Or overzealous consumers hoping it's a new Best Buy location.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

DEC 10, 2004 08:15 AM

The terrorists have clearly stolen the Wile E. Coyote playbook.

Whats next, painting fake train tunnels on the sides of mountains?

Acme=terrorists.

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

DEC 10, 2004 08:21 AM

In a related story, terrorists have been using their index finger and thumb to "crush the heads" of pilots as they approach for landing.


When that fails, they gather in a row, and begin "mooning" the pilots.

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