"Merry Christmas..."

"...Merry Christmas...Merry Christmas....Merry Christmas....Kiss my ass...Kiss his ass....Kiss your ass....Happy Hanukkah."

HEY THATS NOT SANTA!!!!

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy Shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

Happy Easter

HOWDY ! Just had to empty the shitter.

Now this is what Christmas is all about.

I think you meant to say 'was' ...

Chevy Chase died?

No, just his ability to be funny.

When the cat chews through the lights and fries it ass into the floor.

HILARIOUS. Every single time.

Maybe my favorite Christmas movie ever.

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

Have you checked our shitters, honey?

What does this mean?