Probably The Best Post Ever

The first thing you need to know is that my cousin is hot. Amazingly hot. The kind of hot that makes you want to rip her pants off and **** her in the middle of class, not caring about getting expelled. She's just that damn good. People tease me about her a lot, because she has a bit of a reputation for being a slut, and for good reason: She sucked off half the football team after the homecoming game. But she is hot nonetheless.

Anyway, she lives about 10 minutes away from me and she called me up and asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I told her no, I had to work on this english report (Poison Gas Warfare in WWI), but she begged until I gave in. Then she told me she wanted to rent a movie and come over instead of going to a theatre. I raised my eyebrows at this. Why would she want to come over here? Could it be she's really that big of a slut? Nooo, I thought. That couldn't be it...could it?

So she arrives at around 9 PM. My parents are still at a symphony they went to, so nobody is in the house (my sister is in college). We pop some popcorn and get on the couch and start watching the movie (The Blues Brothers). After a while she complains that her legs are cramping up and wondered if she could lie down on the couch and put her head in my lap. My stomach did a barrel roll. I said Yes, no problem.

So she puts her head in my lap and continues to watch the movie. We're to the scene with the blind dude playing the keyboard when she starts to gently rub her head back and forth; jacking me off with her ear, if you will. It was an extremely good feeling, and I gave a little sigh as she did it. Then I was brought back to Earth as my cousin sat up and gave me a look of disgust. "What the hell is that?" she asked, pointing to my crotch. I had a raging hard-on from her head movements, and I could do nothing to hide it. I mumbled that I was sorry and that I should probably get to bed, but she grabbed me by the beltloop as I tried to get up.

She forced me back down and looked into my eyes with a sort of hungry look. "If you're attracted to me, all you needed to do was tell me..." and with that she unzipped my pants and had them around my knees before you could say Jack Daniels. I feebley tried to resist, but my protests faded into nothingness as she pulled my wang (I won't lie, 5.8 inces) out of my boxers. I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure. As I looked down, I saw a sight I will never forget for the rest of my life.











She lowered her head to it, pulled off her mask, and spit acid all over my wang.

FATALITY.

threejane said:
I got the joke, and still found it pretty middling. No offense, I mean most of my posts suck too.

Gilby said:

Don't feel bad, all of my posts suck.

thelastbeliever said:

My posts are what dreams are made of

psychoholicagogo said:

Jesus_Chrysler said:
Fucking Nomar....

xer0yne said:
LOL!

Teh twist!1!! lolz

...and start watching the movie (The Blues Brothers)...We're to the scene with the blind dude playing the keyboard...

paisleyplaid said:

that blind dude? that blind dude?!!

Sorcha said:
It's not the supposedly funny punch line that bothers me so much as the long-ass post devoted to lusting after his COUSIN.

paisleyplaid said:

that blind dude? that blind dude?!!