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Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

NOV 15, 2004 11:04 AM

What makes a dive a dive?

1.) There are only three beers on tap....(extra credt if those three are Bud, Coors & Miller)

2.) There must be at least 1 broken arcade game/pinball machine

3.) The arcade games/pinball machines are comically out of date.

4.) The men's room consists of a trough with ice in it

5.) There must be at least 5 softball trophies in the bar. (2 extra points for every trophy prior to 1985)

feel free to add your own

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

NOV 15, 2004 11:06 AM

You have to go down a stairwell to get in. smile

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

NOV 15, 2004 11:10 AM

Dogs are allowed.

waxangel

waxangel

Baltimore, MD
May 2003

NOV 15, 2004 11:10 AM

Dude, the Mars Bar is the king of all dive bars, and it fits none of these "rules."

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

NOV 15, 2004 11:11 AM

The restroom contains graffiti/etchings about bands you haven't heard since 1985.

You have to wonder what the floor's natural color is.

In Michigan, everyone wears hunter orange from November 15th onward, even if they aren't hunting deer.

The Eagles and Bob Seger get more play than most of the bar's patrons.

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

NOV 15, 2004 11:12 AM

bizzos with no teeth
bartender with a mullet, and he's serious.
no clean ashtrays
a kid playing in the backroom
any body in there wearing a bolo tie.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:13 AM

waxangel said:
Dude, the Mars Bar is the king of all dive bars, and it fits none of these "rules."


ummm....Mars Bar is the QUEEN of all dive bars.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:15 AM

the thought of using the bathroom literally scares the shit out of you.

B57913

B57913

I'm lost
May 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:21 AM

beer advertisement posters with bikini girls plastered on ceiling

mismatched tables and chairs that look like they came from someone’s grandmothers kitchenette

a regulars crowd of local color (most who profess to be carrying a knife for their protection)

Kosomot

kosomot

Pompano Beach, FL
November 2003

NOV 15, 2004 11:30 AM

These guys are the regulars.

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

NOV 15, 2004 11:34 AM

-old men
-honkey-tonk jukebox (off)
-television (on)
-cheap as sin

Ryan_Dipietro

Ryan_Dipietro

Naples, FL
April 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:36 AM

The one toilet in the bathroom that has been out of service since 1976.

sidewalker123

sidewalker123

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:42 AM

Welcome to the Short Stop

-there is no sign bearing the bar's name, just "open"
-the only beers are Milwaukee's Best, Milwaukee's Best Lite, Pabst, and Natural Ice.
-someone spelled "faggot" wrong in the bathroom
-the bartender personally cashed my unemployment checks
-the pool set includes no more than two cues, and one of them is much better than the other.

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

NOV 15, 2004 11:44 AM

Ryan_Dipietro said:
The one toilet in the bathroom that has been out of service since 1976.



Have you ever actually been in a dive bar? Seriously.

[Edited on Nov 15, 2004 by Idjiit]

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

NOV 15, 2004 11:46 AM

Wine tasting, apparently.

Coco

Coco

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

NOV 15, 2004 11:47 AM

What about the giant jar of pickles?

They also must serve beer in cans + the locals bring their own coozies.

waxangel

waxangel

Baltimore, MD
May 2003

NOV 15, 2004 11:49 AM

Pickled eggs.


Joe's Bar has pickled eggs, and they are perhaps the best thing I've ever eaten.


But you don't want to be standing near me about 10 minutes after.

Ryan_Dipietro

Ryan_Dipietro

Naples, FL
April 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:50 AM

Idjiit said:

Ryan_Dipietro said:
The one toilet in the bathroom that has been out of service since 1976.



Have you ever actually been in a dive bar? Seriously.

[Edited on Nov 15, 2004 by Idjiit]



Yeah, i work in one asshole. Whats your fucking problem? Everytime I say something you dispute it or tell me how much punker you are than me. What the fuck did i ever do to you? Leave me the fuck alone, im sick and i don't feel like taking a bunch of shit from some elitist prick who thinks hes the only one who's ever been to a fucking bar. Get a life and stop posting nudes of yourself.

sidewalker123

sidewalker123

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:51 AM

Coco said:
What about the giant jar of pickles?

They also must serve beer in cans + the locals bring their own coozies.



Oh, you are sooo right. I forgot about the monster jar of spicy pickled eggs.

rottenart

rottenart

Norman, OK
February 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:52 AM

sidewalker123 said:
Welcome to the Short Stop

-there is no sign bearing the bar's name, just "open"
-the only beers are Milwaukee's Best, Milwaukee's Best Lite, Pabst, and Natural Ice.
-someone spelled "faggot" wrong in the bathroom
-the bartender personally cashed my unemployment checks
-the pool set includes no more than two cues, and one of them is much better than the other.



ha ha, did they spell it "faget"?

yes, hunched old men who've been drinking since ten is a pre-req.

on that note, i'm surprised no one has mentioned the neccessary maximum occupancy of about 23.

'a' not 'e'

oh yeah, it helps if a significant number of patrons turn to watch you come in and sit down.


[Edited on Nov 15, 2004 by rottenart]

[Edited on Nov 15, 2004 by rottenart]

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

NOV 15, 2004 11:53 AM

Ryan_Dipietro said:

Idjiit said:

Ryan_Dipietro said:
The one toilet in the bathroom that has been out of service since 1976.



Have you ever actually been in a dive bar? Seriously.

[Edited on Nov 15, 2004 by Idjiit]



Yeah, i work in one asshole. Whats your fucking problem? Everytime I say something you dispute it or tell me how much punker you are than me. What the fuck did i ever do to you? Leave me the fuck alone, im sick and i don't feel like taking a bunch of shit from some elitist prick who thinks hes the only one who's ever been to a fucking bar. Get a life and stop posting nudes of yourself.



Somebody call the waaaambulance. Relax, dude. You're 19, it was a reasonable question.

Merry

Merry

Saint John, NB
December 2002

NOV 15, 2004 11:53 AM

My local dive bar has no floor. Well, there's a floor obviously, but it's just a bunch of ancient wooden planks... possibly stolen railroad ties. And it has airbrushed murals of scantily clad women on the walls. Other areas of the walls are just neon green. Oh, and an autographed Nashville Pussy poster behind the bar. Classy. smile

Nyghtwish

Nyghtwish

Williamsburg, VA
February 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:58 AM

Xixax said:
- There is a guy sleeping. He was there sleeping last time you were there as well as the time before that. In fact, you've never seen him awake.



Triple points if there's a possibility he's dead but no one gives a shit enough to check.

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

NOV 15, 2004 11:59 AM

Idjiit said:
Somebody call the waaaambulance.





"I need 50 CCs of STFU....STAT!"

Ryan_Dipietro

Ryan_Dipietro

Naples, FL
April 2004

NOV 15, 2004 11:59 AM

Idjiit said:

Ryan_Dipietro said:

Idjiit said:

Ryan_Dipietro said:
The one toilet in the bathroom that has been out of service since 1976.



Have you ever actually been in a dive bar? Seriously.

[Edited on Nov 15, 2004 by Idjiit]



Yeah, i work in one asshole. Whats your fucking problem? Everytime I say something you dispute it or tell me how much punker you are than me. What the fuck did i ever do to you? Leave me the fuck alone, im sick and i don't feel like taking a bunch of shit from some elitist prick who thinks hes the only one who's ever been to a fucking bar. Get a life and stop posting nudes of yourself.



Somebody call the waaaambulance. Relax, dude. You're 19, it was a reasonable question.



No dude. you werent asking that question because you wanted to know the answer, thats why it was unreasonable. Don't fuck with me anymore. Im so sick of it.

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