NEWS: Does This Old Man Belong to You?

CULTURE: Does This Old Man Belong to You?

Heartless bastards abandoned an 82-year-old man suffering with Alzheimer's. They pinned a note to his chest and left him at a hospital accident and emergency department in Essex.



The note, written by his wife, said

People think the man's wife and daughter flew back from Spain, dumped him, and flew back again. Officials didn't know where the family were:

The family has now made contact with the local authorities, from Spain, where they've been living for the past two years. The council is arranging for the man's long-term care.

What kind of heartless cunt would do such a thing? Not to mention the wife! Jesus! :eeK: I hope I never marry a woman so heartless and father a daughter with so little compassion. People like that should be caned on the courthouse steps!

Fuckers. There is absolutely no reason to do some shit like that. It's very obvious they can afford to care for him, otherwise where'd they get money to fly three people to America, and two back?

maybe he was abusive and controlling and his dimentia was a blessing in disguise...

"Good care" that they are not willing to pay for it seems

Umm you realize this is a British article and they are refering to Essex, UK? As for lack of compassion, desperation often leaves us doing things that are cold on the surface. Did you stop to think the rapid retreat to thier current home in Spain, was because they were embarrassed about what they were doing? That society often makes those who need to ask for help feel like criminals and miscreants? They returned him to his homeland to hopefully get the care that he needs, that they feel they can no longer give him. Did you actually read the article?


TKS

wow. i'm not disagreeing, neccessarily, but that sure is a strange way of admitting you can't cope. aren't there hotlines or something you can call?

I guess I'm that heartless cunt. My Dad's mom has alzheimers, and it tore him (not to mention everyone else around her) up when she couldn't recognize him. She would call the police because she thought he was a burglar, and many more crazy things. Right now she's in a nursing home, and I can't even bring myself to go see her. It's one thing to have her not know who I am... but the last time I went... she didn't even know herself. Like an empty shell. It was very heartbreaking. Thank god assisted suicide should be legal when I get it...

Oh, and if this is all fuckered up, it's because the smilies are floating in the middle of it. No proof reading for me.

Uh. Couldn't they have taken him to a home..you know, properlike, and signed him off or something?

That's lame.
My family dumped my grandma off at a home, which I hate, but at least they go visit her like once a month.

*edited to say that my grandma is 99 and doesn't have any mental disease, my family is just selfish like that*

[Edited on Nov 12, 2004 5:31PM]

They have it all wrong, he should have been left in Paddington Station.

I know it's easy to have a visceral reaction of anger after hearing about something like this, but what people have to understand is how physically and emotionally brutal it can be to be respsonsible for the care of a loved one going through something like this, and to be forced to watch them suffer and die.

I lost my mother to cancer a few years ago, and had to take sole responsibility for her care during the last year of her life. I loved my mom and would have done anything in the world for her, and there was no way I wouldn't have been there for her. But caring for her pushed me almost to the breaking point, physically and emotionally. I can only imagine what it would have been like had she had a disease like Alzheimer's, that slowly tears apart a person's individuality.

This is just a fucked up situation all around. It's understandable to be angry at the circumstances that brought this about, but try to understand what this man's caregivers must have been going through, and remember that desperation sometimes makes people do thoughtless things, often because they are too overwhelmed to think of better alternatives.

I hope to be old. And hit by a bus on the Costa del Sol.

Sadly, this kind of thing happens all the time. I remember seeing a story a while back on '20/20' or 'Dateline' or one of those.

life is not all milk and cookies. sometimes you gotta suck it up and do what's right. that's what this is about. my great grandfather just died and already his children are trying to pawn off my great grandmother. shit happens. these soulless fucks ought to be taken to the state game lands with antlers attatched to thier heads on the first day of buck. yea, caring for someone with Alzheimer's is a burden. yea it will drain you. but christ it's still a living human being and after so many years i can't imagine such a blatant disrespect for the life of a loved one. there are better ways to deal with such things.

Long term care like that is very expensive. I'm doubting that many people have the money for such a thing.

My grandfather as well as a friend of the family both had Alzheimer's. It can be very difficult to care for these patients both phisically and emotionally. Alzheimer's affects people in different ways, but it can include violence, abusive language, and other disturbing behavior towards others. It can be very hard to care for a loved one who no longer knows who you are and who is abusive towards you. It is a tragic situation on all sides. I don't know if I would have done the same thing, but I can see how years of this can push someone to this point. I'm sure it tore them up inside to drop him off like that, and no doubt they thought it was in his best interest to be somewhere that he could be properly cared for. Not to mention that they probably didn't have the money to put him in a nursing home or to pay for a visiting nurse.

[Edited on Nov 12, 2004 by inkncarrots]

Ya but thats no reason to leave him with a note pinned to his chest that is screwed up. that is why we have old people homes with altimerz units so they can get the care they need. its more human then dumping them in the gutter.

Some are left without notes. Just left.
The note in this case is a good thing.

The knee jerk reation is to think this is some completely heatless act. Yet while reading over the various responses it made me step back and think for a moment.

In times of desperation we some times do things that are irrational (and comes across to others as heatless) yet at the time it seems like the only answer. Having to deal with a loved one who is slowly slipping away to a terminal illness is incredibly painful and sometimes too much to bare (and yes, i speak from personal experience). Does this excuse what was done, not really. The fact that the family has responded to local authorties to arrange for longterm care shows some sign of compassion. If they hadn't, then my opinion would be different.

In the end, any which way you look at it, it's a very tough situation to be in. And sucks all the way around.

I guess I'm that heartless cunt. My Dad's mom has alzheimers, and it tore him (not to mention everyone else around her) up when she couldn't recognize him. She would call the police because she thought he was a burglar, and many more crazy things. Right now she's in a nursing home, and I can't even bring myself to go see her. It's one thing to have her not know who I am... but the last time I went... she didn't even know herself. Like an empty shell. It was very heartbreaking. Thank god assisted suicide should be legal when I get it...

Oh, and if this is all fuckered up, it's because the smilies are floating in the middle of it. No proof reading for me.



I have to say that in my eyes you are NOT cold hearted. When my greatgradma's mind fell to alzheimers she was not her self in any way. She forgot who she was, who we were, where she was. You couldn't talk with her because all you were talking about was who you are & what you were doing there. I lived with her & later on helped care for her, for 19 of my 22 years of life. And even still she had no idea who I was after her mind slipped away. We had to move her into a nursing home, we couldn't take care of her any longer. In the years she was there I could only bring myself to visit twice. And both times she never remembered my name or my face. I stopped going to see her because it hurt too much to see her as a shell, nothing that was Edith Chandler was left in her mind. She passed on a year ago. I was happy for her, she was finally freed from the shell.
Sorry for the long post.

I tried to do that as a reply to JoniGirl, I guessed I messed up.

[Edited on Nov 13, 2004 12:23AM]

yeah but just leaving him, fuck that thats the easy way out.

This is a good point. Hopefully he at least had some marmalade sandwiches in his hat.