childfree?

i want to have at least one kid. i have alot of love i want to pass on to children. i know, I KNOW, i can do a much better job than my parents did with me!

Yes, there are plenty of adults out there who secretly don't want anything to do with having and raising kids. Myself included. My sisters are churning out enough to keep my family in the gene pool. I have a few friends (two women and a man) and know a happily married couple who also don't want kids and we've discussed this many times. The thing that pisses us off is how society makes you a virtual pariah when you reveal your stance on children. I think the thing that most turns me off about children is how I see others who have them become nothing more than a "parent". They seem to lose all notions of self and can barely hold a conversation unless it's about their kids. I'm sure there are many people who can maintain their own identity and have a good relationship with their kids, but I don't see many of them.

On the other hand, not to sound patronizing, but wait until you get past 30 before you are absolutely certain you don't want kids. Alot changes between 20 and 30.

When K and I got married we decided we did not want children. I think K is starting to regret that decision, and has talked to me about it, but I'm standing firm. I'm told all the time that I would make a great parent, but I really do not want to bring a child into this world, where good children are victimized by so many others.

Kitschy and I don't have plans to have children, but we're not ruling it out. After being exposed to how horrible the orphan situation is in Russia, I think if we did decide to have children we might just adopt if we can afford it.

Check out The Misanthropic Bitch.

She has a lot to say on the subject.

[Edited on Nov 05, 2004 by Cigarette]

I have no intention of children....and I've tried yearly since I hit 18 to get a vasectomy, but the doctors always know what I want better than I do:"You dont mean that." "You'll want kids one day." "It's not so bad." "What if you change your mind?" etc.

I hate to say NEVER, but....I cant see my stance changing.

Unfortunately, the girl I'm getting involved in DOES want a child of her own someday....and I'm not sure that I'm willing to let go of absolute perfection over the ONE difference.

I think I'd make a horrible father, most importantly.

I know for a fact that I will never have children. I'm living with my younger brother now and I've already adapted to putting his needs over my own. I can live with it for now, but I'm too selfish of a person to do that with someone for an entire childhood. I'd probably start to resent them, and I don't want to do that to a child.

i'm not saying that you will change your mind about children but as one matures selfishness goes away.

wait just a second....you're having sex for reasons other than procreation?!?!?

I'm sorry Morgan.....we can't be friends anymore.

I want one child. But not untill I am financially secure, very sure that the woman Im with(after i marry her) is infact the one Ill be with the rest of my life and well... the point where I can afford to bring a child in this world...

So I'd say... about 7 years from now

Ayn Rand would like to have a few words with you.

I can't tell if this is a shot at me or not.

I don't want kids, never had....occassionally you'll see a cute kid and go oh they are so cute then you'll see 100 screaming uncontrollable monsters that make me say yup, glad I don't have any kids. I am 30, don't have a steady gf and well not really interested in getting one anytime soon and I'll be damned if I will be 60 when my kids turn 20. I have been looking into getting 'fixed' but alot of doctors won't do it cause I am single with no kids. I am like fuck its my body my decision. Yet they wouldn't think twice about snipping a 20 year old that has a couple of kids already...

I haven't really decided yet. Part of me doesn't want kids, part of me does.

I'm now totally blaming any warm, mushy feelings for small children on jizzikah and her new daughter.

here's my 2 cents

i dont plan to have children either. and earlier this year i was looking into tubal ligation. but my gyn was wise to point me in the direction of the IUD. it keeps you covered for 10 years! then, if for some crazy reason you change your mind, you can just take it out.

the IUD got a bad rap in the US in the 70s when a certain brand was causing infections and other problem in women. but the IUD is used extensively everywhere else in the world with few complications.

so there you go.

I will never spawn... I hate everything about the idea of being a parent.

evrybody says I'm great with kids, but I cant see myself with a child. I guess maybe later in life things will change. Besides, it would be a shame to let these genes got to waste !

i really wasnt taking a shot at you but thats often been my experience with myself. i have matured and gotten less selfish. its taken alot of work on my part though.

I share your feelings. I got myself "fixed" three years ago. It was a real pain because, apparently, Doctors try to talk you out of it. He actually went so far as telling me that I should get permission from my gf of the time. But I was finally able to force the issue after much resistance. If you are in your twenties, expect doctors to be hesitant about doing the procedure.

And also, guys....don't listen to the doctor. It does hurt like hell. I couldn't get out of bed for 4 days afterwards, and then it was a couple weeks on top of that before I could walk around in a half-way normal manner.

But despite all that, I am glad that I had it done. Sure, I have regrets from time to time...but I stand by my decision.

I've always felt (well, always since about the sixth or seventh grade) that there are far to many children in the world without a proper family that I have no right to add to the problem...I'll probably adopt a child or two...

Just out of curiousity Morgan, is there a particular reason you don't want to have kids? If you don't feel like sharing, I understand though.