TIP YOUR PIZZA GIRL!

Except waitresses don't drive their own car to get to your table...

[Edited on Oct 21, 2004 by nightx]

Yeah, all they do is drive to your freakin' house, generally on occasions when you don't want to leave it like when its raining, or cold or there's a big game on. Restaurants are also much more expensive than pizzerias unless you're a fan of Red Lobster; waitresses make more money for their extra attention.

Let me speak slowly and clearly:

THEY BRING FOOD TO YOUR HOUSE, HOT AND READY TO EAT. You barely have to even get off the couch. They deserve not only your tip, but your undying worship. They are kings among men. How can you not love them?

Yea me too! wtf is up with that?

I tend to get grizzled old people or crazy foreigners who don't speak English well.

Even so, I give the pizza dude/dudette at least five bucks.

Ummm, that article says that one fourth of the fatalities in one of the most dangerous occupations in the US are killed in robberies. Those are just the people who died.

Delivery people don't carry cash because it makes them a more attractive target and they don't take large bills because it hard to spot a counterfeit standing in the rain in the dark on somebody's porch. How one could reach adulthood and not know this is baffling.

I don't just believe in tipping I believe in overtipping. I always tip generously whether it be the pizza guy or girl, my waitress, my barber, or the guy who washes my car. Most of these people work for minimum wage and are in college and can really use the extra money more than me.

Technically, they do drive a car to the restuarant...they just walk to the table...

I'm going top assume you've not done both. I have. One is not better than the other.

That's because their salary is not based on gratuities. You pay them every tim you buy a stamp and they start at about $38,000 a year.

but don't tip cows....

When I was in college, In Worcester, MA there were two Chinese food places right near the school. One was a lot better than the other, so pretty much anyone on campus who ordered chinese delivery got it from this place. They had one delivery guy, who was on a bike. All year long, from the time the place opened to the time they closed you'd see this dude hauling ass on his bike, bringing food to some kid, or rushing back to the store to pick up another order. In the rain, and the snows of new england winter. He was so damned nice, and had such a shit job, and had to put up with so many shit head college students that don't tip. But I never saw him get angry at a non tipping customer once, he'd just rush back to the restaurant. That guy was awesome. I love delivery people. Thanks for putting up with us while being drunk and taking 15 minutes to get to the door and find money. And thanks for bringing me food because I am a lazy bastard. I'd feel a lot better about myself if I knew that guys name, but he had a terribly thick accent, and spoke pretty much no english aside from when he said "chinese food" from the call box at the door entrences. Bless you skinny old chinese man

in china they just call it food.

If Clara delivered me a pizza there'd be a CRAZY HUGE tip.

It's pretty shitty when you think about it. Gas is expensive, repairs are expensive, tires are expensive, and putting that many miles on a car so fast is complete shit. Standing out in the rain and freezing ass cold sucks, especially when people never have their money ready, and they have some psycho ass chihuahua or pomeranian making your eardrums explode with those piercing barks. It's really nice when you go to some trashy dump, and the smell of dog shit almost knocks you over, and there are ten or more of the little fuckers screeching at you and crawling up your leg. Either the dogs, or heathen children. Also, they didnt have their lights on, so you're stumbling around in the dark, stepping in mud and dog shit, and trying to fumble up some stairs.

Gated communities are the bane of our existance, because half the time, the morons don't know their own gate code, or how to let us in. And the person in front of you at those places never knows what the fuck they're doing.

Getting mugged = lame.

Can you tell my day at work sucked?

actually, it's customary to give your mail carrier some cash or at least a small gift around the holidays. trust me, my mom delivers the mail.

anyway, they get a lot more pay than your pizza guy, as well as benifits.





[Edited on Oct 22, 2004 by lostarchitect]

MR. PINK
Uh-uh. I don't tip.

EDDIE
You don't tip?

MR. PINK
No - I don't believe in it.

EDDIE
You don't believe in tipping?

MR. BLUE
You know what these chicks make? They make shit.

MR. PINK
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.

(Mr. Blonde laughs.)
EDDIE
I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh?

MR. PINK
I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds.

(Eddie laughs.)
I mean as far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.

MR. BLUE
Hey, this girl was nice.

MR. PINK
She was OK - but she wasn't anything special.

MR. BLUE
What's special, take you in the back and suck your dick?

(They laugh.)
EDDIE
I'd go over 12% for that.

MR. PINK
Hey Look, I ordered coffee, right? Now we've been here a long fuckin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times

MR. BLONDE
Six times? Well, you know, what if she's too fucking busy?

MR. PINK
Words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.

EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. Pink - the last fucking thing you need's another cup of coffee.

MR. PINK
Jesus Christ - I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage. And when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.

MR. BLUE
You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?

(Mr. Pink rubs two of his fingers together.)
MR. PINK
You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.

MR. WHITE
You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.

MR. PINK
So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're servin ya food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bullshit.

MR. WHITE
Waitressing is the number one occupation for female noncollege graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips.

MR. PINK
(pauses) Fuck all that.

(They all laugh.)
MR. BROWN
Jesus Christ!

MR. PINK
Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're giving me, I got two words for that: "Learn to fuckin type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.

MR. ORANGE
Hey - he's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.

EDDIE
Hey! Leave the dollars there.

JOE
All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'. Wait a minute. Who didn't throw in?

MR. ORANGE
Mr. Pink.

JOE
Mr. Pink? Why not?

MR. ORANGE
He don't tip.

JOE
He don't tip? What do you mean you don't tip?

MR. ORANGE
He don't believe in it.

JOE
Shut up. What do you mean you don't believe in it? Come on, you, cough up a buck, you cheap bastard. I paid for your goddamn breakfast.

MR. PINK
Alright - since you paid for the breakfast, I'll put in, but normally I would never do this.