NEWS: In The Event of A Dildo...

CULTURE: In The Event of A Dildo...

A state of emergency was declared at an airport 500 miles north of Brisbane, Austrailia after security officials found a vibrating sex toy left in a garbage can. Airport officials shut the airport down for an hour.

An adult novelty device, never their adult novelty device.

That happens in my bedroom about once a month. Stupid bomb squad.

Is the owner of said adult novelty device going to prison?

It's okay to bring food into the UK, we don't have such a thing about it as the Americans. Australia was bonkers about it, they had a-whole-nother check in customs system just to check bags for food.

Once again, life imitates Fight Club.

Narrator : Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer : Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator : Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer : Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator : My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer : Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...
[whispering]
Airport Security Officer : it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a dildo", never "your dildo".
Narrator : I don't own...

That was some brilliant accidental timing.

Why would a person throw such a thing in the trash? Unless they thought it was broken, or couldn't get it through in thier carry-on without explanation.
Oh how nice it would be to have such a disposable income to by the nicest new toys.
As for going to jail, hopefuly the "owner" won't have to, I am sure the embarasment of it all was enough.

that was no accident...



[Edited on Oct 05, 2004 by Ryan_Dipietro]

Now I understand what was in the luggage beside me last time I travel to Japan. People actually use it in real life, it is so real, so up close.

Fuck you beat me to it!!!!!!!

its too bad that what you just said made absolutly no sense.

I would have laughed my ASS off if it had been mine! My parting shot would have been, "and it wasn't clean"

By the way Just a bit of Fight Club Trivia.
In the Commentary Edward Norton and The Director state that the "Narrator's" name Is actually "Jack"
From the books that Jack wrote in the third person. Yes that Jack.

but he didnt write them, he found them in the decrepit house 'they' were living in. And yeah, that commentary owned.

Funny how people dont get that. Edward Norton's Character is "Jack"

I tell everyone to watch the commentary and they are all "Wow!!"

I kinda caught on during the movie when he kept changing his name in the support groups

As in "I am Jack's smirking revenge" or "I am Jack's ragin bile duct".

Not sure how people miss that...

Oh so thats where it came from...!

Because it wasn't intended by the author, it was the movie fans that decided to name the narrator jack.

[Edited on Oct 05, 2004 5:45PM]