Deep Thoughts

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

"Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up."

Man, these really hold up well don't they? These still make me laugh until I cry!

That is still my favorite.

http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/today.asp

http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/yesterday-1.asp?DayW=2

With every new sunrise, there is a new chance. But with every sunset, you blew it.

"I was in a museum once and a lady walked up to me and asked, 'Do you like Monet, or Manet?' I said 'I prefer mayonaise.' She just stared at me and walked away. I think she went to go get me some mayonaise."

"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway."

"If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, 'Well, technically that's illegal.' It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party."

Bahaha!

Oh god. LMAO

I gotta stop responding the these. Basically every single one is hilarious.