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9/10/04
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SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 06, 2004 09:55 PM

Could someone please come and kill my roommate? He's in the next room snoring one of those high-pitched, back-of-the-throat snores, and I'm going to jump out the window any second now. mad

Pretty please? I'll pay you in home-made cookies (made by the victim, himself) and pork rinds. kiss


I need Midol. blackeyed

AccNasty

AccNasty

Pittsburgh, PA
September 2003

SEP 06, 2004 10:18 PM

i suggest a sharp blade to the voice box'll do the trick.

burstandbloom

burstandbloom

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

SEP 06, 2004 10:23 PM

i thought this thread was about smoking the Chronic

damn

MisterSatan

MisterSatan

Portland, OR
August 2002

SEP 06, 2004 10:29 PM

Talk to this man.

joshof13thfloor

joshof13thfloor

Cookeville, TN
January 2003

SEP 06, 2004 10:41 PM

So, what sort of cookies are we talking about here?

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

SEP 06, 2004 10:41 PM

MisterSatan said:
Talk to this man.




Yeah, he offered to take care of mine just cause he was bored one night. You might even get to keep the cookies.

comicking

comicking

Rosemount, MN
May 2004

SEP 06, 2004 10:48 PM

Sorry, if you had asked a month ago, when I was in that part of the country, I'd have been there and done it for the price of a hug (from you, not your dead roommate)... but I'm not there now..

joshof13thfloor

joshof13thfloor

Cookeville, TN
January 2003

SEP 06, 2004 10:54 PM

You know, Billy the Kid once shot a man for snoring to loudly. That's some cold shit.....

cold yet very, very funny.

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

SEP 06, 2004 10:57 PM

I suggest throwing something heavy or possibly sharp at his groin, just as a warning. If you can find something sharp AND heavy, even better.

But hey, if that doesn't work... skull
wink

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

SEP 06, 2004 11:02 PM

Take a pen, remove the rear cap, spring, and ink/ballpoint thingy.
If he is snoring high-pitched he is probably on his back, take a shoe and the empty pen and place then pen point down in the little dimple at the top of his chest about 1-2 inches below his adams apple. Tilt the pen so the rear is pointing away from his head at a slight angle (like 30 - 40 degrees).

Then hit the pen with the shoe, he will stop snoring.

...

He may also stop breathing so you should get into the car and drive to canada immediately biggrin

Edit:

Disclamer:
*do not do this* wink

[Edited on Sep 06, 2004 by SirPsychoSexy]

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 06, 2004 11:08 PM

MEROVINGIAN said:

burstandbloom said:
i thought this thread was about smoking the Chronic

damn



That would be..."I Need A Hit, Man"...note the comma. Oh wait...we would be talkin about a weed smoker(present co. included) so yeah I can see that wink

I actually thought about this as I was typing the topic. "People are gonna think I forgot the comma!"

If I had some Chronic, I doubt I'd be concerned about the snoring...or the cramps.
biggrin

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

SEP 06, 2004 11:13 PM

Damn FDA and their aversion to "organic" sleep aids ARRR!!!

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 06, 2004 11:29 PM

AccNasty said:
i suggest a sharp blade to the voice box'll do the trick.



FreakPirate said:
I suggest throwing something heavy or possibly sharp at his groin, just as a warning. If you can find something sharp AND heavy, even better.



SirPsychoSexy said:
Take a pen, remove the rear cap, spring, and ink/ballpoint thingy.
If he is snoring high-pitched he is probably on his back, take a shoe and the empty pen and place then pen point down in the little dimple at the top of his chest about 1-2 inches below his adams apple. Tilt the pen so the rear is pointing away from his head at a slight angle (like 30 - 40 degrees).

Then hit the pen with the shoe, he will stop snoring.

...

He may also stop breathing so you should get into the car and drive to canada immediately biggrin


Jeez, you people are violent. All I wanted was a clean, simple murder. shocked

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 06, 2004 11:33 PM

joshof13thfloor said:
So, what sort of cookies are we talking about here?

For you..."special" cookies. kiss

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 06, 2004 11:38 PM

unravled said:

MisterSatan said:
Talk to this man.



Yeah, he offered to take care of mine just cause he was bored one night. You might even get to keep the cookies.

Excellent, then I'll just send the cookies to joshof13thfloor. You think dunx still wants the pork rinds? Because, umm...I ate them. blush

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

SEP 06, 2004 11:39 PM

SarcasticMenace said:
Jeez, you people are violent. All I wanted was a clean, simple murder. shocked



Explain to me where the fun in that is... tongue

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 07, 2004 02:08 AM

FreakPirate said:

SarcasticMenace said:
Jeez, you people are violent. All I wanted was a clean, simple murder. shocked



Explain to me where the fun in that is... tongue

We could play Monopoly or Hungry Hungry Hippos afterwards?

zenFish

zenFish

Vancouver, BC
August 2004

SEP 07, 2004 02:09 AM

SarcasticMenace said:
Could someone please come and kill my roommate? He's in the next room snoring one of those high-pitched, back-of-the-throat snores, and I'm going to jump out the window any second now. mad

Pretty please? I'll pay you in home-made cookies (made by the victim, himself) and pork rinds. kiss


I need Midol. blackeyed



We talking theoretic, or should we start tossing numbers?

(Bonus if you get that reference line)

EmilyRocks

emilyrocks

Sacramento, CA
May 2004

SEP 07, 2004 02:25 AM

well if that dunx guy doesn't pull through maybe this guy can help...

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 07, 2004 05:28 AM

joshof13thfloor said:
You know, Billy the Kid once shot a man for snoring to loudly. That's some cold shit.....

cold yet very, very funny.

Unrelated story, but it kind of reminded me of Seldom Seen Slim. He traded a deed of land for a strip of bacon. Or something.

I wonder what he would have given for a ham hock? biggrin

[Edited on Sep 07, 2004 by SarcasticMenace]

SurfBetty

SurfBetty

Atlantic Beach, FL
December 2003

SEP 07, 2004 10:38 AM

SarcasticMenace said:
Could someone please come and kill my roommate? He's in the next room snoring one of those high-pitched, back-of-the-throat snores, and I'm going to jump out the window any second now. mad

Pretty please? I'll pay you in home-made cookies (made by the victim, himself) and pork rinds. kiss


I need Midol. blackeyed






hey if you find somebody give me their business card....mkay

sidewalker123

sidewalker123

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2004

SEP 07, 2004 10:46 AM

joshof13thfloor said:
You know, Billy the Kid once shot a man for snoring to loudly. That's some cold shit.....

cold yet very, very funny.


That's terrific.

Dunx

dunx

San Antonio, TX
July 2003

SEP 07, 2004 04:56 PM

SarcasticMenace said:

unravled said:

MisterSatan said:
Talk to this man.



Yeah, he offered to take care of mine just cause he was bored one night. You might even get to keep the cookies.

Excellent, then I'll just send the cookies to joshof13thfloor. You think dunx still wants the pork rinds? Because, umm...I ate them. blush



I think that a cold Bud would probably square us.

SarcasticMenace

SarcasticMenace

Tunnel, NY
May 2004

SEP 07, 2004 05:22 PM

dunx said:

SarcasticMenace said:
You think dunx still wants the pork rinds? Because, umm...I ate them. blush


I think that a cold Bud would probably square us.

Done.

He's awake now, therefore, he's no longer snoring. But feel free to kill him anyway. ARRR!!!

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

SEP 07, 2004 08:31 PM

Knock on the wall or what ever. he will get up and answer the door. He will stop snoring long enough for you to sleep.

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