A Lousy Joke That You Need To Hear....

Yep... This one is cheesy.... However, you all NEED to hear it. It's my all-time Favourite.... (Yep... I'm a tad bored..).

Ok.... What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come up the hill??



Look! There are the elephants....



NOW....


What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants come up the hill wearing sunglasses??




Nothing.... He didn't recognize them.

I love that. Just thought you all should know. Makes me smile everytime. Yep... I suck.

Was Tarzan wearing the sunglasses or the elephants?

The elephants were wearing sunglasses.

Oh okay.

HehHehHeh... Wicked.... That's a gem. I cannot believe someone is thanking me for starting this... Bless your heart That carrot joke is great.

I didn't need to hear that. False advertising.

Why did the little girl fall of the swing?











Because she had no arms!

awesome

[Edited on Aug 14, 2004 by meanwhilethecat]

what do you call a deer with no eyes?



no eyed deer

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what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?



still no eyed deer

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what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs and no penis?



still no fucking eyed deer



>so bad yet soo good. a twelve year old told that joke at a ski lodge bar.

How do you fit four Catholic Bishops in a compact car?











Take off their hats. Heh Heh

what sits on top of a hill, howls at the moon, and is made of cement?



a coyote [i just threw in the cement part to make it hard]

I tried so hard to not laugh at this joke that I made myself cry! I hate you.

How do you kill a one armed man climbing a tree?













wave.

what bubbles and taps on glass?



a baby in a microwave

A math book and an english book are walking down the street when the mathbook turns to the english book and says, "Yo man, I got problems."

did you hear about the dyslexic who tried to commit suicide?
he jumped in back of a bus

What's red and not really there?


No tomatos.

Two penguins are in a bath tub.. the first one asks the other:

"Hey, can you hand me the soap?"

to which the other replies..

"What do I look like, a radio?"

A penguin is driving cross-country when his car breaks down, conveniently not far from a mechanic's garage. The mechanic gets the car in the garage and tells the penguin if he's hungry to go accross the street and get something to eat at the diner and that he should be done in an hour or so. So, an hour passes and the penguin comes waddling accross the street and asks the mechanic:

"So, what's wrong with my car?"

To which the mechanic replies:

"Looks like you blew a seal."

Penguin:

"Oh! No, that's just ice cream"

Beautiful!

*takes a bow* thank you..thank you..that's one of my all-time favorites!! ..for good reason

A string walks into a bar and the bartender says " We don't serve your kind around here, so you'll just have to leave."

So the string walks out of the bar and sees two young ladies walking down the street and asked one to tie him in a knot and the other to kinda fluff him out a little with her comb.

After thanking the ladies the string goes back in, sits down at the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says " Aren't you the same string I just told to leave?" And he replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Did you hear about the dyslexic, schizoprenic, atheistic insomniac?













...he stays up all night arguing with himself over whether or not there's a dog.

lmao..that's classic!