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BlackHive

BlackHive

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

JUL 22, 2004 05:25 PM

I posted it in a journal but wanted to ask if anyone here has ever had anyone close admitted to a psychiatric hospital for any reason. No one's allowed in to see her or contact her and I'm many hours away anyway. I don't think there's any way I can help right now. Feeling pretty helpless knowing someone I love is in such a bad situation and state of mind right now and there's nothing I can do.

Mnemesis

Mnemesis

Japan
June 2004

JUL 22, 2004 05:35 PM

I know exactly what you're going through. Well, as much as one person can know another's pain. I walked into my girlfriend's dorm room once to find her surroiunded by empty pills bottles, rode in the ambulance with her and spent the night waiting for her to come out of her coma. all of this after accompanying her on her monthlong downward spiral into depression--with absoloutely no way to stop it.
She was in the Psych ward for two weeks. i wasn't allowed to visit till the second week. It was not the best time of anyone's life, let me tell you.

Right now there's nothing you cab do, maybe, but be sure that when you can, let her know you are there and she can count on you. She may be hours away, but she's not on another planet.
She needs a reason to want to come out of her depression, and if you can, give her that reason. But remember it isn't just you, she has a lot of work she has to do herself, and no one else can make her better or make everything alright for her. Be there to help as much as you can, of course, but don't shoulder too much of a burden. I tried to be the perfect caretaker, and take care of EVERYTHING for her, and it only made me weaker and unable to help when it really mattered.

the most important thing, though, is make sure YOU are ok. It can be incredibly emotionally draining dealing with this and you can't help her of you aren't ok yourself. Take care of yourself first, then do what you can for her.
I'll be pulling for you both.

BlackHive

BlackHive

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

JUL 22, 2004 05:39 PM

Very appreciated. Thank you. Extremely good advice.

Fu

Fu

Los Angeles, CA
November 2003

JUL 22, 2004 05:43 PM

Yes. "Someone" very very close to me.
It's fucked up, but try to relax and be happy that she's where she should be. Protected and being cared for.
-
I know the feeling of helplessness as a short time ago my girlfriend was destroyed in a car accident and taken away to a specialist to have her fractured skull cared for and patched with a plate. Shes still in outpatient care dealing with nrrve damage and other serious complications.

It's very hard, I know. But just give her your love and strength. Even if she can't hear you or see you, I'm sure she know you're there for her.
Best wishes

BinkyMcQueen

BinkyMcQueen

Philadelphia, PA
December 2002

JUL 22, 2004 05:44 PM

yep...it is all about balance....make sure you are solid for her.....that is all you can do at this point until the situation is better grasped by all involved....

Lain

Lain

Astoria, NY
April 2004

JUL 22, 2004 05:45 PM

BlackHive said:
I posted it in a journal but wanted to ask if anyone here has ever had anyone close admitted to a psychiatric hospital for any reason. No one's allowed in to see her or contact her and I'm many hours away anyway. I don't think there's any way I can help right now. Feeling pretty helpless knowing someone I love is in such a bad situation and state of mind right now and there's nothing I can do.



My aim is SB XperimentLain

IM me... we need to talk.

cause if i post my replies here... someone I know and her boyfriend are going to bitch at me for "not knowing what im talking about".

BlackHive

BlackHive

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

JUL 22, 2004 06:06 PM

She just called me from the hospital. She's scared out of her mind. She's trying to be cooperative so they don't hold her longer for just being difficult. It's hard hearing the sound of a psychiatric hospital in the background as your girlfriend cries. Argh...

Oracle

Oracle

Courtenay, BC
September 2003

JUL 22, 2004 06:08 PM

BlackHive said:
She just called me from the hospital. She's scared out of her mind. She's trying to be cooperative so they don't hold her longer for just being difficult. It's hard hearing the sound of a psychiatric hospital in the background as your girlfriend cries. Argh...




I haven't been through that situation, I could only imagine..hang tough we are all with you

CookiePuss

CookiePuss

Dinosaur, CO
November 2002

JUL 22, 2004 06:21 PM

I hope things go okay for her (and you).

About five years ago, someone very close to me tried to kill himself...
I flew from Europe (where I was living at the time), to the U.S. (and to a State that I had no friends or family), to pack his house up all alone.

They let me into the State 'Hospital' to visit him twice, but it was a pretty sad/scary experience.

I hope her situation gets better and she realizes there are many people who want and need her around.

CookiePuss

CookiePuss

Dinosaur, CO
November 2002

JUL 22, 2004 06:33 PM

Oh, and the person I was talking about before, was on hospital lock-down for over half a year.

I realize that your girlfriend wants out (you said she was crying on the phone and said she is trying to be cooperative so they don't hold her too long), but if she was considering killing herself - maybe she should have someone watching out for her for a while.

I have gone to two close friend's funerals from suicide, one being less than a year ago, so I take any threat of suicide seriously...



Lain

Lain

Astoria, NY
April 2004

JUL 22, 2004 06:36 PM

Suicide is not a joke. It used to be the "cool" thing to do in highschool. I never saw this as a laughing matter. I wish your girlfriend well, but she needs the help they are going to provide her.

IM me.

we will talk

TheDead

TheDead

Greenville, SC
November 2003

JUL 22, 2004 08:04 PM




cause if i post my replies here... someone I know and her boyfriend are going to bitch at me for "not knowing what im talking about".

I've got an idea- why don't you shut the fuck up and get on with your life. I don't care whats happened in yours, noone would know anyways what has actually happened seeing as how you make up this fictional world for yourself

TheDead

TheDead

Greenville, SC
November 2003

JUL 22, 2004 08:07 PM



LAIN:cause if i post my replies here... someone I know and her boyfriend are going to bitch at me for "not knowing what im talking about".

I've got an idea- why don't you shut the fuck up and get on with your life. I don't care whats happened in yours, noone would know anyways what has actually happened seeing as how you make up this fictional world for yourself[/QUO
noone that had really gone through anything like this would ever say the things you do- to the person who put up this post, Be there for your girlfriend b/c those places are scary and lonely and she's probably really freaked out, just make sure you make her feel that she isnt alone and really talk to her don't just ignore the issue.

Lemonkid

Lemonkid

Canada
May 2003

JUL 22, 2004 08:08 PM

We had to admit my former roommate to a psychiatric hospital when she went crazy last year. Tough stuff.

HyenaHell

hyenahell

I'm lost
April 2003

JUL 22, 2004 08:09 PM

i was institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital after attempting suicide. this was about three years ago. if you want to talk, or want my perspective having been on the "inside", feel free to contact me.

n8tvegrl

n8tvegrl

Bend, OR
February 2004

JUL 22, 2004 08:12 PM

TheDead said:



LAIN:cause if i post my replies here... someone I know and her boyfriend are going to bitch at me for "not knowing what im talking about".

I've got an idea- why don't you shut the fuck up and get on with your life. I don't care whats happened in yours, noone would know anyways what has actually happened seeing as how you make up this fictional world for yourself[/QUO
noone that had really gone through anything like this would ever say the things you do- to the person who put up this post, Be there for your girlfriend b/c those places are scary and lonely and she's probably really freaked out, just make sure you make her feel that she isnt alone and really talk to her don't just ignore the issue.



Here's a tip: sharing an account is a good way to get zotted. I know this has nothing to do with your post but you should be aware of this...

Sympathy4Devil

Sympathy4Devil

Cartersville, GA
June 2004

JUL 22, 2004 08:20 PM

My mom was put in a hospital for a day then was an out patient so i kind of know how it feels.
I was in the hospital for almost a week when i was in my mid teens.

BlackHive

BlackHive

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

JUL 22, 2004 08:21 PM

She just called me back. Her dad was allowed in to be with her for a little while. They gave her the option of checking herself in or having them involuntarily check her in if she wouldn't comply. She said she'd like to check herself in. They then came back and said "too bad. We're checking you in ourselves and marking it down that we had to force an involuntary check-in on you because that makes you seem more dangerous and lets us decide if or when you leave"

BULL! If they gave her the choice, she was cooperative and she made the proper choice, why are they forcing a BS "involuntary" check in on her? That's not quite fair. She's pissed. Her dad is pissed. They tried to convince them she should be able to check herself in and they wouldn't listen.

Now who knows how long she's going to be there? I hope they're fair and release her when it's appropriate. She used to work at one of these places and knows how petty, uncaring and incompetent much of the staff is. Frustration... We're all very worried and want the best for her.

Thanks for all your help, everyone! REALLY appreciated. Very helpful. I've let her know I love her and this doesn't change anything between us at all and I will be there for her during and after this the best I can.

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

JUL 23, 2004 03:30 AM

my closest friend is schizophrenic, suidical, alcoholic, depressed and drugusing (those last all relating to the first).
the stuff that she did/happened to her horrified me at first to the point where i couldn't sleep for days.
only way i learned to deal with it is basically a "wait and see"attitude, she's not some depressed teen, she's schizophrenic, i can't change much so i try to just sit it out and pick up the pieces afterwards instead of worrying sick while she's gone to some hospital or just plain missing for a few days.

sounds harsh but it's the only way to deal with it long term.

[Edited on Jul 23, 2004 by Snottlebocket]

Lain

Lain

Astoria, NY
April 2004

JUL 23, 2004 03:53 AM

TheDead said:



LAIN:cause if i post my replies here... someone I know and her boyfriend are going to bitch at me for "not knowing what im talking about".

I've got an idea- why don't you shut the fuck up and get on with your life. I don't care whats happened in yours, noone would know anyways what has actually happened seeing as how you make up this fictional world for yourself[/QUO
noone that had really gone through anything like this would ever say the things you do- to the person who put up this post, Be there for your girlfriend b/c those places are scary and lonely and she's probably really freaked out, just make sure you make her feel that she isnt alone and really talk to her don't just ignore the issue.



Fictional world? I remember you posting somewhere " SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DONT KNOW ME! HAVE A NICE DAY! kiss

Funny how the thread DOES ACTUALLY CARE since It is a discussion. I think everyone is with me on this one.

Due to the fact that I love this site and want to keep the peace. I will no longer be responding to bone head comments and ignorant people.

Thankyou. That is all

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

JUL 23, 2004 04:05 AM

It's a tough time for your girlfriend, but she's receiving very good care.

It is also a very tough time for you. I can imagine some of what you're feeling. Do you have people to talk to where you are? Look after yourself. Best Wishes for both of you.

adjunct

adjunct

Philadelphia, PA
July 2002

JUL 23, 2004 10:33 AM

BlackHive said:
She just called me back. Her dad was allowed in to be with her for a little while. They gave her the option of checking herself in or having them involuntarily check her in if she wouldn't comply. She said she'd like to check herself in. They then came back and said "too bad. We're checking you in ourselves and marking it down that we had to force an involuntary check-in on you because that makes you seem more dangerous and lets us decide if or when you leave"


The first thing you should do is ask to speak to the ombudsman or patient advocate. Some hospitals think that this is a useful tactic to ensure that they don't get repeat customers from people who left without getting proper treatment, but the general effect is that they get to charge more and take away some of their patient's rights. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but you also might be able to get an injunction against the involuntary check-in.

lilianna

lilianna

Madison, WI
March 2004

JUL 25, 2004 04:01 AM

AJ said:

BlackHive said:
She just called me back. Her dad was allowed in to be with her for a little while. They gave her the option of checking herself in or having them involuntarily check her in if she wouldn't comply. She said she'd like to check herself in. They then came back and said "too bad. We're checking you in ourselves and marking it down that we had to force an involuntary check-in on you because that makes you seem more dangerous and lets us decide if or when you leave"


The first thing you should do is ask to speak to the ombudsman or patient advocate. Some hospitals think that this is a useful tactic to ensure that they don't get repeat customers from people who left without getting proper treatment, but the general effect is that they get to charge more and take away some of their patient's rights. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but you also might be able to get an injunction against the involuntary check-in.



you should definetly get someone else involved. she was co operating, and its just bullshit if they do that.. and a lawyer if they claim that they dont have an ombudsman or patiens advocate there.
i just went to the visitation of a close friend on friday because of her not being herself and nothing helping her. i hope your girlfriend gets all the help she really needs...

geekgurl

geekgurl

Philadelphia, PA
June 2003

JUL 25, 2004 04:06 AM

My ex's mom attemted while I was dating him. He was devasted and I had no idea how to console him.

Later on it scared me when he would say things like I was the only thing keeping him alive. That's alot of pressure to put on someone. blackeyed

edited because I left out an important pronoun. I said they weren't my friends.

[Edited on Jul 25, 2004 by macgrrl]

lavandra

lavandra

HOPEFUL

France

JUL 25, 2004 04:10 AM

it happened to my mother twice. the first time it was very hard for her, but she was allowed to go in the garden, watch tv late and quite normal things. She had visits too, but it was restricted for the phone.
this year (she went out a month ago) she has not a lot of rights there. the people were not very nice, she wasn't alowed to go out at all, they all have to go to bed at 10.30 p.m... well my opinion is that some hospital are probably great, but not all of them, same for doctors. But hard to have an opinion if you can't visit her.
My mother is out and ok now.
I hope she is in good hands and will come back to you soon smile

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