Should I leave him?

I wasn't sure where to post this but I'm in need of some advice. Last weekend my bf told me he was going to a party and he didn't invite me to go along..no big deal because I made plans of my own. So my bf goes to the party..gets drunk and comes home. At this point my friend Matt was supposed to be picking me up in 10 minutes. My bf flipped out when I left and I only know what happened because of what one of my other roomates told me. He went off about how it's ok for me to go out with girls but that going out with another guy is wrong. All that happened was Matt and I went out for coffee for an hour and talked about random stuff. My bf on the other hand was jealous..he threw our phone against the wall breaking it and trashed our room. When I got home only my other roomate was there to tell me what happened. Well, my bf came home with another phone and we had a talk. I told him if he couldn't trust me I would have to leave him..because jealousy drives me nuts. He apologized but ever since I've noticed him being short tempered about everything. Is it possible to calm someone down or should I leave him?

Drop him.

Dosent sound all that promising, if you dont have a basic level of trust in a relationship, then you really dont have shit.....i really dont have much valuable input on this,....but i wish you the best.

You have two options:

1. Accept him as he is because this is how he is going to behave always or
2. If you don't like it, leave him.

people who scream and throw things belie a level of inmaturity incapable of sustaining a true relationship.

yeah, drop him.




-pb

Without trust you have nothing...

The incident with the phone is a really bad sign. That kind of aggression could be something that could be eventually directed at you. I think that you should probably consider if he shows other signs of violent behavior. If he does, I would consider getting out of there.

dropem like a bad habit!

So, if you hang out with Matt for an entire afternoon, does that mean a broken window?

Drop him. He's immature and childish and can't control his emotions. It's okay for him to go to a party, but you can't hang out with a friend? Screw that.

He also lied and said it was okay before stomping around the house and sulking. Passive-aggressive people suck.

no way. I married a guy just like that. everything started out like that. it gets worse. divorce and restaining orders are expensive and scary lessons.

i think if you have to ask, it's time to do so.

Wow....scary. Leave him, or give him one more chance. Just one though, if that.

who knows what that behavior could indicate, be careful please

Jealousy=major annoyance!

Cut him now or you're looking at months/years of bitterness.

i think you already know the answer

throwing and breaking phones 'cause he was jealous? fuck that. drop him

To qoute a wise man...."drop the zero and get with a hero"

It's time for him to go. Raging jealously isn't something to tolerate.

I love it when people just jump on the 'dump him' bandwagon. Or any bandwagon. The fact is no one here who has posted really can reasonably say what to do with the lack of information you provided.

Did he throw the phone while drunk? Does he have a history of jelousy or was it this one issue? The fact that he didn't invite you to this party and then you just happen to leave right as he is getting home and he is a wee bit woozy doesn't strike you as easily being perseved negatively? (I understand this is not an excuse for a lame assed temper, but it would shed some more light on the subject) I hear alcohol can make you do foolish things.

HOWEVER

The jelousy and the phone tossing are quite trivial in comparison to the fact that he didnt invite you to the party. That is how relationships are. At first you want to go everywhere with your significant other, then you drudgingly drag them along, and then...finally....you flat out ditch them.

How long have you been dating this human? What if this is a five year commited relationship? Its honestly worth ending because of this? I am a guy and have never ever thrown anything in a fit of rage let alone even raised my voice. 99% of my girlfriends friends are guys but I absolutely trust her. That however does not mean that everyone who has a hissy fit should be dumped. Has he ever threatened physical harm to you or other people such as Matt? Throwing a phone in a drunken fit is a bit different that causing bodily harm to a human being.

Why dont you give us a bit more info on this...

[Edited on Jul 18, 2004 by NinjaTech]

[Edited on Jul 18, 2004 by NinjaTech]

im going to say something a great man once said:

Baby if you wanna get low

Oh baby if you wanna get high

It makes no sense at all

I saw red

I saw red, I saw red, one more sacred lover that

I shot dead

Girls, don’t go crazy,
Girls, don’t go crazy,
Oh girls, don’t go crazy when the men use you, oh

Oh, woman hold your man tight
If it makes you feel right, it’s your own life

A little jealousy in a relationship proves to me that it's time for a new boyfriend.

But if they're friends? If you trust who you're with, and they hang out with a person of the opposite sex without you being there, why would you be jealous? These things make me feel odd, only because I personally don't worry about it. Unless I should have reason to.

my ex was so mad I was never jealous of her. I told her I loved and trusted her and that she was doing nothing for me to be jealous about. She started talking about this guy alot (I think to make me jealous) I didn't go for it and to this day she still gets mad at me for not being jealous (actually I should have been cause her and that guy are actually together now)

Ninja,......you really need more info?look if this guy is already starting to show violent trends, its time to give him his walking papers, a good healthy relationship is based on love and trust.........Obviously somthing this guy isnt ready to offer, so make excuses as you will, but i know better.


......The bottom line is that if your with somebody, this type of shit should never happen....PERIOD........(if it does, than its not meant to be)

I'm going to have to disagree with you there. I used to have MAJOR jealousy issues with my husband, I didn't want him talking to, looking at, or touching, other women, let alone the porn issues!! He's a tattoo artist, so I can't stop him from interacting with women, that's how he makes the money our family lives off of. I just had to make myself realize that I was being unfair, and I needed to change (although, Smuffy, you know I still get a bit bitchy about it ). Now we've been to strip clubs, gone and bought porn together, and he's a member of this site.
So these issues can be worked out, but the person has to want to, and it doesn't sound to me like this guy's ready.