Getting Hit In The Nuts

How much does it hurt? Christ.

Back in primary school one of my mates claimed that his balls were invincible. So he asked a crazy kid with ADD - named Nigel or Barry or something - to kick him in the nuts as hard as he could.

My poor mate spent three nights in hospital and had some fun surgery.

Ever been whacked in the nuts?

I took a direct hit to the left twin when I was 17. I swear it still hasn’t dropped back down into the correct position to this day. Fuck, being grazed is bad enough so I don’t know how this kid thought he good take a direct blow to his nuts.

How cool would it be if some dude walked up to you and was like, “Hey bro kick me in my nuts I’m invincible there.” I don’t know about you but I would kick him so hard they would have to remove my shoe from his taint.

Crazy kids.

Yup 17. snowball fight.

me wearing sweats.

I sang in high notes for at least three days.


it's a painful memory I can't write too much about it.

Well he also claimed that black people didn't exist - they were just injected with 'darker blood.' So...

I feel your pain. Sweats defiantly offer little, if any, protection for the boys and his buddy.

The worst is when you hit yourself in your own fucking nuts! Just swinging your arms and WHIP! you nick 'em. Ugh. How embarassing. And fucking painful.

I think a better, harder to answer question would be to find a man who hasn't been slammed in his bits.

Even before I had my kids and discovered that children are heat seeking ball destroyers I got hit in the nuts so hard and so often it's damn surprising that I have the kids here at all to do it to me now. Hey, wait a second...

i swear that it hurts worse when you don't get hit full-on. a little bit of contact goes a looong way.

Um, I've never done that. I"m thinking that's all you, ben.

I used to learn ninjutsu as a youngster. Mainly because of the Ninja Turtles, unsurprisingly. I was really in to it because I wanted to use a bo and some nunchucks. I got to use nunchucks, and tried to spin 'em round Michaelangelo style.

Bam!

Never been in more pain in my life.

Or even worse, when you're wearing jeans and the crotch binds up catching one of your boys and crushing him. I don't give a fuck if you're Superman, that shit hurts.

i shouldn't laugh, but damnit that was too fuckin funny.

This is ^ so true. Also, the old zipper ripper is no fun on the occasional day of free-ballin.

Last time I was hit in the nuts was in high school while playing soccer. I was on defence and I was about to pass the ball up to one of my guys and this tall forward on the other team tried to get the ball away from me and somehow his knee connected with my crotch and I went down. I was down for a while before I managed to get myself off the field.

thats some funny shit. i want to meet this guy.

[Edited on Jun 01, 2004 by scotty_bane]

Junior year in High School. I was the starting catcher for the baseball team. One day, while catching some batting practice, I was behind the plate with all of my gear on: Helmet, chest protector, leg guards and my trusty cup.

Surely nothing could hurt me.

Nothing, except the fastball that the pitcher bounced off the tip of home plate and ricocheted up under my cup. I remember a flash of light, then blackness. Then, when I came to....my balls hurt really bad and I threw up.

Yep. Pissed blood on and off for about two weeks.

Of course, I think we all have. I even had to explain it to a female friend of mine, she didn't seem to grasp all the pain that was involved. After I explained it to her, she said that was horrible and she felt bad about hitting guys in the nuts. I think I did some men a great service.

I'll roshambo you for it!!

no you fucking won't mate.

Try not to let your knuckles drag on the ground so much. If you keep the clear of obstacles they wont bounce around and be a hazard.

One other obervation. Never, ever - did I say Never? Tell someone it's ok to kick you in the nuts even if you're wearing a cup. Murphy's law will apply and they will slip on a pebble and their foot will travel at just that certain angle so you will wish you'd been castrated instead.

One more thing.... If someone ever tells you it's ok to kick them in the nuts - DO IT! If you kill him or sterilise him it is justified as evolution in action.

when i was a bit younger a girl asked me this same question and in a drunken stupor, i kicked her in the crotch and told her thats what it feels like. when she recovered, she kicked me in the nuts and it knocked me unconscious for a minute or two, and then it hurt like hell for a week

I am so glad that my ovaries are better protected. Because those fuckers hurt just as bad, if something (gynecologist for instance) gets to them.

I was talking with my boy last night, he was mentioning the labioplasty before-and-afters he'd seen on the web. I remembered reading that the tissue that becomes the labia (forget which minora or majora) anyway, in males that becomes the scrotum. I said, wow, I'm glad MY ovaries aren't hanging outside my body in a pouch of skin! That would make me feel rather vulnerable.

Look, I have two kids (3 and 6) and three dogs. All of which enjoy jumping in my lap with little to no provocation. So, yes, I've been clobbered in the nuts. Nearly every day for the past several years... Lucky me.

Oh yes, and like skmfc, I am a smartass guy which adds up for a few more as well.

Ah, and I take martial arts. It's always great sparring with someone lacking in control...The cup helps, but not all that much.

Having minor twinges in the nether bits just thinking about all this...

Hahah, I'm not sure you're allowed to kick girls in the crotch. But she got you unconscious, so I suppose it's a case of rock 'n' roll.

A mate of mine used to skate a lot and managed to do the obligatory 'grind a handrail, fall on nuts.' He spent three hours alternating between crying and throwing up.

I wish he'd filmed it. I love seeing dudes getting kicked in the nuts. It's one of the few consistently hilarious images there are. It's also one of the most visceral.