The Zombie Problem

Target Practice

Zombies aren't that bright, dude, trust me...I try to explain the point you just made every time I see one, but all they ever do is groan and stumble around and try to bite me and shit. Stupid-ass walking dead...or, to quote that goofy redneck from the news broadcast in the orginal Night of the Living Dead, "...they're dead, they're all messed up."; Next time I see a bunch them together, I'm just going to taunt them; I'm going to say, "Vampires are so much more bad-ass a form of the undead than y'all will ever be!"...and then dangle a baby in basket from a fishing line just far enough out of their collective reach to be annoying. That'll fix their dumb-asses...

They aren't that bright cause they are dead not really undead like vampires.


I've created a Group, Zombie Hunter to discuss this very thing.


*Shameless plug for my group*

zombies aren't terribly practical... mostly just hungry for brains

It's like an itch.. a physical urge you can't control.

"I've got a burning fever, and the only thing that'll cure it is more cowbell!"

That's why we have to practice sustainable breeding. Go on everyone, have babies. Breed, breed!

Oh dear. There's gonna be little glass jugs of sugary liquid running around all over the place!

My job is not to question. My job is to run screaming like a schoolgirl from a mob of the reanimated dead.

Also, the Zombie Survival Guide is an excellent read.

ah, you crack me up.

The sort of spectre of people who shamble around consuming for no clear reason seems to have a real resonance when you think about consumerist culture, as "Dawn of the Dead" (and there is only one; it was made in the '70s and never re-made, as far as I'm concerned) makes abundantly clear.

in dawn of the dead sumzombies were just happy shopping or going about their business.
i dont think the zombies ate in "dawn of the dead" except to turn others into zombies

the movie had nothin really to do with zombies but to use them as a tool to show the evils of shopping malls, trends and capitalism well thats how i saw the film

[Edited on Jul 19, 2004 by fiendish]

why are zombies such fucking assholes?

Because they are all Republicans! I'm waiting to Reagan to rise from the grave and go on a murderous campaign of mayhem and then run for president again. Nothing in the Constitution about the Dead running for Office.

Dont be haters... Zombie is another word for love...