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FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

JUL 24, 2006 04:27 AM

All of them. Apparently some ad exec got stuck on 'It's a small world' for five hours. When they dragged his rambling, broken form back to the Advertising firm they realized that he would never, ever forget that damned song again, and them philosophy that drives modern marketing was born. I'm just waiting to see if the viewing public turns their collective icepicks on their own temples or goes after the fuckwits who make these commercials befor they end their own miserable jingle driven existences.

FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

JUL 24, 2006 04:32 AM

Cimmerian said:
Commercials that try to sell me "manhood" or "manliness".

Dodge Caliber Too Tough. The commercial features a fairy, buzzing around a dull grey city. And for whatever reason, Tinkerbell is on a rampage. She turns a skyscraper into colorful gingerbread, she turns a passenger train into a vivid green steam-engine tinker-toy. But when she encounters the Dodge Caliber, her magical foo-foo powers have no effect. The Dodge Caliber protects you from emasculation! Apparently, if I don't buy this car I could become the random victim of foo-foo fairy magic and wind up a preppy pastel metrosexual. That's not enough to get me interested in the Caliber but I sure would like to fuck that fairy.

There's a Hummer ad where a guy is eating tofu. He wants to eat meat but he can't because he doesn't drive an H3. Of course, eating tofu means you're not manly.

Full Throttle Energy Drink has several ads that suggest drinking a super-sugary beverage will somehow turn me into a grizzly bad-ass. And apparently consuming Vault will endow me with hyper-productivity.

Male performance enhancers. Penis Pills. Just For Men.



Those of us whose sexuality is not threatened by bean curds should respond with a series of spots that depict Conan beating the snot out of a dragon then buzzing down to the local co-op in his hybrid for a meal of fried tofu, tea, and fresh fruit.

MsStabby

MsStabby

I'm lost
November 2005

JUL 24, 2006 05:43 AM

I saw a Hummer ad yesterday where one yuppie soccer mom's little shit of a child cut in line in front of another yuppie soccer mom's shit of a child at the playground, so to get her vengence second yuppie soccer mom went out and bought a Hummer.

The final graphic said "Get Your Girl On."

mad mad mad mad mad

FrankMask

FrankMask

Saint Paul, MN
June 2003

JUL 24, 2006 06:51 AM

I saw a Warthog add in my head where the Masterchief does a barrelroll off of a berm and smashes a hummer in twain, with nary a scratch to be soon on the old warthog. Fuck hummer. Fucking warthog wannabe.

Phoenixgirl

Phoenixgirl

I'm lost
May 2006

JUL 24, 2006 07:19 PM

the burger king guy creeps me out

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 24, 2006 07:27 PM

Jynee said:
the burger king guy creeps me out



Phoenixgirl

Phoenixgirl

I'm lost
May 2006

JUL 24, 2006 07:32 PM

AAAUUUGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! puke

decedent

decedent

Boston, MA
December 2003

JUL 24, 2006 08:20 PM



it seemed relevant.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 24, 2006 08:28 PM

bocuma said:


it seemed relevant.



bahahahahahaha...fucking brilliant

Phoenixgirl

Phoenixgirl

I'm lost
May 2006

JUL 24, 2006 08:29 PM

OMFG where did you get that?..its hilarious, but it should really be the other way around!!

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JUL 24, 2006 09:24 PM

bocuma said:


it seemed relevant.



Oh fuck yes.

Wren

Wren

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

JUL 25, 2006 08:03 PM

mamet said:

seanvegas said:
Big buckin' chicken
You are big
You are chicken
Big buuuuckin' chicken
Buckin' chicken



I kind of want to see that.



The best part is when you sing along, and instead of "Buckin'" you say "fuckin'". Because that's clearly what they were going for.

hotcurry

hotcurry

Los Angeles, CA
June 2004

JUL 25, 2006 08:19 PM

There's a creepy commercial out here in Los Angeles for an "Indoor Shopping Plaza" in Sun Valley. I should mention this is the complete ghetto north north end of the San Fernando Valley. The commercial is basically a woman singing the words "indoor shopping plaza" over and OVER again. The weird thing about this place is that it contains the world oddest assortment of goods. They proudly announce, "sunglasses, flip flops, places to eat and tatoos" Huh? Come again? Tattoos?

Indoor shoping plaza in sun vaaaaalley!

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

JUL 25, 2006 08:33 PM

Commercials with the hot dancing.

I miss the hot dancing too much. Those hot women, with all the sweat. And the post dancing sex.

hotcurry

hotcurry

Los Angeles, CA
June 2004

JUL 25, 2006 08:55 PM

I also hate any 1800-Dentist commercial. These commercials that claim to be better than the yellow pages. How?!?! All they are is a service where dentists pay to be listed. They are not some angelic community service project. I'm too embarassed to attend my daughter's wedding because I need veneers! *sob*

And as long as we're on dental commercials... any Dental Land commercial. Every state seems to have these Dental Land commercials, some place that shows kids overjoyed to be running around a waiting room that looks more like an arcade. what they don't show is kids getting the fuck drilled out of their teeth. Ah, Dental Land... "a great place to go to the dentist."

castorsky

castorsky

I'm lost
November 2005

JUL 25, 2006 09:27 PM

Thank god this thread exists. I just want to add currently I hate:

The tropical starbursts ad, with the lady and fake native man on the beach.

The tic tac bold commercial. where the tic tacs jump around in their mouths.

I just want to punch the women in those commercials in the face.

JennyLou

JennyLou

Danvers, MA
December 2002

JUL 26, 2006 01:15 AM

I am going to sum it up with pretty much everything Burger King makes!

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA
January 2006

JUL 26, 2006 02:56 AM

Down here in Baton Rouge they have these INSANELY annoying car dealership commercials. They feature these stereotypical southern sheister used car dealers speaking... check that, screaming... with hideous hillbilly accents. What's worse is that they're proud of their inbredness, with low-quality graphics coming across the screen spelling "SHO-NUFF" and "DAHLIN". This is all exacerbated by the fact these commercials are played ad nauseum.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUL 26, 2006 04:03 PM

all of them
commercials are evil

MrStitches

MrStitches

Brooklyn, NY
November 2003

JUL 26, 2006 04:45 PM

The new axe or tag commercial with the guy walking around getting women to smile at him while he totes them up on one of those clicky counter things. But then the less attactive guy impressed more women because he sprays shit on himself in the morning. The thing that always gets me is that they wouldn't keep making commercials like that if they didn't sell product. Which means people buy things because of commercials like that. Which means the gene pool is in serious trouble.

inkandiron

inkandiron

I'm lost
December 2005

JUL 26, 2006 05:19 PM

Fucking Haribo with the kids whistling for the pop group to come on stage. Grips my shit.

There, feel better now.

Aaargh it just came on TV as I was typing, I shit you not. mad

Sandman3030

Sandman3030

Fairview Heights, IL
September 2003

JUL 27, 2006 04:46 AM

The Starburst one where the kid make a head out of them then starts to eat the nose. That just weirds me out.

Imaginary

Imaginary

Seattle, WA
November 2005

AUG 02, 2006 01:05 AM

McD's and Trimspa Baby!! puke

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