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Joscelyne

Joscelyne

I'm lost
July 2002

APR 23, 2004 09:16 PM

Little things that I can't do but bug the shit out of me:

I can't for the life of me open an envelope like a "normal" person. Every time I try to just get it open, it gets all torn and ragged looking and I feel like The Worst Envelope Opener Ever.

Can't cartwheel. Never have, prolly never will. I've done backflips, handsprings, and all that crap, but can't cartwheel. WTF?

And dude. I can't fucking whistle. I think it's my buckteeth. whatever People think it's really weird when they find out that I can't whistle, and then they whistle their hearts out right in front of me and I feel mocked.

So...what can't you do?

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

APR 23, 2004 09:20 PM

I can't make farting noises with my armpit using my hand. It almost ruined my childhood. Luckily I was double-jointed and could pop my arm and various fingers out of socket.

Kosomot

kosomot

Pompano Beach, FL
November 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:22 PM

I can't close one eye surreal

unravled

unravled

Portland, OR
August 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:23 PM

Teleportation. Gotta work on the teleportation.

RuneLateralus

RuneLateralus

Chicago, IL
December 2002

APR 23, 2004 09:25 PM

I could never magic eye...and no, I am not going for Mallrats joke, I seriously could never magic eye.

I could never do this bird call that all my friends were able to do.

I could never grow my hair longer than my pictures show it...cause if I do...it turns into a fro...

I can't polygon mesh model...yet...here is hoping I get that down soon.

friedbanana105

friedbanana105

Antarctica
November 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:26 PM

i can't stay away from this place... blackeyed

relapsed_eric

relapsed_eric

Minneapolis, MN
February 2004

APR 23, 2004 09:31 PM

i have a hard time farting discreetly when it's most neccessary.

lemur

lemur

San Francisco, CA
March 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:32 PM

I can't whistle.

Holden_Caulfield

Holden_Caulfield

Ann Arbor, MI
April 2004

APR 23, 2004 09:32 PM

j0ss said:
Little things that I can't do but bug the shit out of me:

I can't for the life of me open an envelope like a "normal" person. Every time I try to just get it open, it gets all torn and ragged looking and I feel like The Worst Envelope Opener Ever.

Can't cartwheel. Never have, prolly never will. I've done backflips, handsprings, and all that crap, but can't cartwheel. WTF?

And dude. I can't fucking whistle. I think it's my buckteeth. whatever People think it's really weird when they find out that I can't whistle, and then they whistle their hearts out right in front of me and I feel mocked.

So...what can't you do?



Try a letter opener. You'll avoid papercuts and the envelope will look much nicer afterwards.

Cartwheeling is not my forte, either, and I was a multisport athlete in high school, so don't feel so bad.

Try inhaling while you whistle instead of exhaling and/or using your fingers. It may not be as loud, but it works best for me.

Good luck.


Les

Les

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

APR 23, 2004 09:33 PM

i've never been able to do a pull-up.

wings

wings

I'm lost
November 2002

APR 23, 2004 09:35 PM

I can't do any kind of strenuous physical exercise without my lungs feeling like they're on fire.

God, I hate asthma.

AkiraLi

AkiraLi

Norristown, PA
March 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:36 PM

RuneLateralus said:
I could never magic eye...and no, I am not going for Mallrats joke,



dammit man! when you have a setup that perfect you should just let people run with it! wink

swingkitten

swingkitten

Portland, OR
OLD SKOOL

APR 23, 2004 09:37 PM

j0ss said:
Little things that I can't do but bug the shit out of me:

I can't for the life of me open an envelope like a "normal" person. Every time I try to just get it open, it gets all torn and ragged looking and I feel like The Worst Envelope Opener Ever.

Can't cartwheel. Never have, prolly never will. I've done backflips, handsprings, and all that crap, but can't cartwheel. WTF?

And dude. I can't fucking whistle. I think it's my buckteeth. whatever People think it's really weird when they find out that I can't whistle, and then they whistle their hearts out right in front of me and I feel mocked.

So...what can't you do?




It's terrible. I even started whistling when I read this post, and then felt all bad tongue

I can't do the armpit fart thing, I can't turn my eyelid inside out though I always wanted to be able to, I can't do a cartwheel either, and I certainly can't do anything that involves double-jointedness.

Dragonchylde

Dragonchylde

Wheat Ridge, CO
December 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:41 PM

I can't whistle really loud.

Joscelyne

Joscelyne

I'm lost
July 2002

APR 23, 2004 09:42 PM

HoldenCauldfield said:

j0ss said:
Little things that I can't do but bug the shit out of me:

I can't for the life of me open an envelope like a "normal" person. Every time I try to just get it open, it gets all torn and ragged looking and I feel like The Worst Envelope Opener Ever.

Can't cartwheel. Never have, prolly never will. I've done backflips, handsprings, and all that crap, but can't cartwheel. WTF?

And dude. I can't fucking whistle. I think it's my buckteeth. whatever People think it's really weird when they find out that I can't whistle, and then they whistle their hearts out right in front of me and I feel mocked.

So...what can't you do?



Try a letter opener. You'll avoid papercuts and the envelope will look much nicer afterwards.

Cartwheeling is not my forte, either, and I was a multisport athlete in high school, so don't feel so bad.

Try inhaling while you whistle instead of exhaling and/or using your fingers. It may not be as loud, but it works best for me.

Good luck.



Well, I mean my results *without* a letter opener. I watch other people open envelopes (w/o the letter opener) and I wonder why mine always look unruly. These are just little things that shouldn't and prolly don't matter to anyone but it bothers me.

As for the whistling, the finger thing doesn't work either. Thanks though.

jj987666

jj987666

Botswana
February 2004

APR 23, 2004 09:45 PM

when on the internet (email anything) i cant use correct punctiation or grammar and i tend to have run on sentances some times but not all the time and my spelling is bad too sometimes.

requium

requium

Australia
June 2003

APR 23, 2004 09:48 PM

grow sideburns

Fawn1

Fawn1

Portland, OR
February 2004

APR 23, 2004 09:52 PM

j0ss said:
And dude. I can't fucking whistle.


me neither.

i cant stand on my toes either. if i try to i get some horrid pain in the arch of my foot.

Tekky

Tekky

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

APR 23, 2004 09:54 PM

i can't:

-drive
-do a cartwheel (anymore)
-run long distances without almost collapsing

humberthumbert

humberthumbert

HOPEFUL

Greenland

APR 23, 2004 10:03 PM

drive

whistle

snap my fingers

understand basic geography

hold onto a piece of paper (including money) without folding it up a billion times and ripping it to shreds

Abracapocus

Abracapocus

Seattle, WA
January 2004

APR 23, 2004 10:08 PM

I can't get on my computer without typing in "www.suicidegirls.com" in my browser.

That, and I could never do the whistling thing while sticking 2 fingers in my mouth - this used to bother me quite a bit.

zumbi22

zumbi22

I'm lost
January 2004

APR 23, 2004 10:08 PM

humberthumbert said:
hold onto a piece of paper (including money) without folding it up a billion times and ripping it to shreds



:takes a second to hide money:

i can't dunk a basketball... and it eats me up inside that i can't. mainly because i'm *less than an inch* from pulling it off.

i also cannot whistle. frown

MrSmead

MrSmead

Savannah, GA
February 2003

APR 23, 2004 10:17 PM

i can't catch a chicken
i can't drink a beer without tearing up the label (no, it happens even when i'm getting plenty of action)
i can't olly a skateboard
i can't grow decent facial hair (not that i want it, it would just be nice to know i could)
i can't finger whistle, this has always irked me

HotVelvet

HotVelvet

Sherman, TX
March 2004

APR 23, 2004 10:18 PM

I can't tell my right from my left. At least not instantly. I have to stop and think about it.

It can be pretty embarrassing.

ReverendBenzo

ReverendBenzo

Savannah, GA
September 2003

APR 23, 2004 10:20 PM

I can't swim. But I can whistle like a mad mofo. biggrin

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