What's Your Favorite Quote?

What sagacious advice, nugget of wisdom or scathing piece of wit and/or witticism do you value the most? I want to know what guides your minds. Could be from a philosopher, a poet, musician, politician or your best friend while they were drunk.

Here's a few of mine:

If you hate your parents, the Man or the establishment, don’t show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outlearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do
- Henry Rollins

You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous
- Khalil Gibran (excerpt from “The Madman”)

May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so we'll know them by their limping
- Old Celtic saying

and finally, from my great-great-great uncle:

All I ask is a simple cottage, a decent bed, good food, some flowers in front of my window, and a few trees beside my door. Then, if the Lord wanted to make me completely happy he would do one thing more for me. He would grant me the pleasure of seeing six or seven of my enemies dangling from those trees. With a heart moved by compassion, I would forgive them all the wrongs they have done me, for we must learn to forgive our enemies. But not until they are hanged.
- Heinrich Heine

Don't take no shit off fools, an' judge a person by whats in 'em, now how they look. An' you do the right thing. You gotta be one of the good guys, because there's way too many of the bad. -Private John Custer, US Marine Corps. The only thing ran in his veins was iron.

"All you have to do is get through today. That's what you have to think everyday."
-Meatcutter guy I worked with

"There are 6 people in the world. The rest are paste."
-Mark E. Smith, "musician"

"Bros before hoes"
-God

"Love sucks, wanna buy a dimebag?"
-Shakespeare

"I am all the day with my cock up!"
-emovi

A man's character is his fate

-Heraclitus

I have learnt silence from the talkative,
toleration from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind;
yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

-Gibran

"Only the madman is absolutely sure." - Robert Anton Wilson

"Don't put that quarter in your mouth! Somebody could have put that up their butt!"
-My Mom

"All I want is 'appiness"

- Beverly Hillbillies

[Edited on Apr 07, 2004 by Jeff_Fries]

Paraphrasing:

"there is only one thing that moves faster than the speed of light,
the thoughts of an idiot" Gabriel Voison

"There are two things you should know about the plumbing business. Shit doesn't flow uphill and never bite your nails."
- My uncle, who tried to convince all of us we should become plumbers instead of going to college.

"Wisdom is Divine . . . . but never pay full price for late pizza"
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"I dont need you or your theme park. I'm going to make my own theme park, with black jack, and hookers. As a matter of fact, forget the park and the blackjack!"

-Bender

Death Plucks in My Ear, Live I am Coming - anonymous 18th century poet

"Do or do not; there is no try" - yoda

"Get crazy with the Cheez Whiz."

-Beck

Nope.

"Wise men say: forgiveness is divine.... but never pay full price for late pizza."

OFFICE SPACE, YO!


Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

Peter: I wouldn't say I've been 'missing' it Bob.

"can i get some stamps, too?" - quagmire, after sliding his credit card down a stripper's buttcrack. (family guy)

Huh. Will Self wrote a short story with this premise.

If you hate your parents, the Man or the establishment, don’t show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outlearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do
- Henry Rollins


Wow, that's a great quote. If it's ok, i'm going to use that one for mine too.

"we were at this benefit where we were teaching homeless people how to use computers..." - Sharon Stone in an interview

"once, when we were too poor for drugs, we hooked the electrodes of the Lionel trainset up to our temples. We saw blue light for a minute. Later that night we smoked spiderwebs." - Iggy Pop

"Darlin', you're always puttin' yourself down, but I like you, that's all I'm here to say." - Jonathan Richman

"They said, - we got halfway though it- I know what that is, the singing sphincter muscle. Why didn't they just turn it off? That's what I did when Forrest Gump started running." - John Waters in an interview regarding Pink Flamingos

"The truely good swords are kept in their scabbards" - Toshiro Mifune (Kurosawa's Sanjuro

"Blame is for God and small children." - Dustin Hoffman Papillon

These are only some of my most favorite, before I get carried away, I leave you with the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

"Now, if you purchase something at Amazon.com and you don't want to wait, you can pick it up at your local Border's, provided, of course, that it's in stock."

Bender is the source of all wisdom. My favorites is:

"Stupid anti-pimping laws!"

Although among my favorite non-Bender quotes is this:

October knew, of course, that the action of turning a page, of ending a chapter of sutting a book, did not end a tale.
Having admitted that, he would also avow that happy endings were never difficult to find: "It is simply a matter," he explained to April, "of finding a sunny place in a garden, where the light is golden and the grass is soft; somewhere to rest, to stop reading, and to be content.
--Neil Gaiman as GK Chesterton

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer" -Homer Simpson