NEWS: My Size Cannot Define Me

CULTURE: My Size Cannot Define Me

by M. J. Johnson


[Zoey in Envy]

When someone is trying to prove how open minded they are about people, they will often say something along the lines of “I don’t care if they’re black, white, yellow, red, gay, straight, Muslim, Jewish, Christian, or Buddhist.” This is supposed to prove that all people are equal in their mind.

But what about a person’s body size?

We live in a sizeist society. Long past the time when it was acceptable to judge someone’s worth based on sex, gender, race, culture, religion, body mods, or ethnicity (though such judgments DO still occur), it is common and largely acceptable to judge someone based on their body type. Comedians commonly joke about Chris Christie’s weight, as if that has something to do with his terrible politics. Articles are written about Keira Knightley’s body type in which self-proclaimed beauty experts call her “dangerously thin” and encourage parents to keep their daughters from seeing her movies, lest the young girls think they need to look like her.

I am a fat man. I’m 6’2” tall and weigh somewhere around 335 lbs. I have a ring of fat around my middle, and climbing 6 flights of stairs makes me breath heavy. Based on that physical description, many people would write me off as an individual, not worth their time and effort. Any opinion of mine could be dismissed because it came from my body.

And I can hear the criticisms: “You’re smart, why don’t you exercise? Why don’t you eat right?” Well, it just so happens that I do. Until I moved to a different state, I was going to the gym 4-5 times per week, 1-2 hours at a time, where I did a cross between aerobic and weight training. My blood pressure is well within the normal range for my age, and my resting pulse is below 80.

But I am still fat. I don’t overeat any more often than a normal sized person; I average about 2500 calories per day, which is just enough to keep someone my size going. I rarely use salt, eat lots of fruit and little red meat, drink water almost exclusively (with an exception for a daily coffee, no sugar, no flavors). I avoid sodas like the plague, and cook almost all my own meals.

Maybe I’m atypical. Maybe I’m genetically predisposed to obesity. Maybe nothing I can do will ever result in me being thin. Or, maybe I just haven’t hit that perfect relation of exercise to food that will turn me into an Adonis.

The point is, nobody can tell that by looking at me. Nobody can tell whether I exercise or sit around playing video games all day. (I don’t. Can’t stand the things.) All anyone can see is that I’m a fat man, and far too many people will dismiss me as such.

This is far from a new idea. For over a century, obesity has been used as a symbol of greed, corruption, and downright evil. There is a reason Dashiell Hammett made the principle villain in his book The Maltese Falcon obese, known for the first half only as “The Fat Man.” This was the Great Depression; anyone with more than enough to eat must have been crooked. The film version came out in the 1940s, at a time when the only roles black actors could get were as servants. Funny how one type of prejudice is not acceptable today, but the other is.

“But people have no control over their race like they do their weight.”

That would be a valid argument, if it were anywhere close to reality. But the truth is, the reasons behind obesity, and why one person gets fat while another does not, are myriad. And, while an inactive lifestyle is, if not the main factor, often a large reason, it is not the only one. Medications, medical conditions, genetics, depression, sleeping habits, limited access to healthy foods or safe free exercise areas (parks, walking trails), even the weather can be factors to obesity.

Of course, us fat folks aren’t the only ones being attacked by sizeism; thin people are often stereotyped as bulimic or anorexic. Yes, those are terrible diseases, but they are not the only reason people are thin. Where an obese person can have an underactive thyroid, a thin person’s can be overactive. This can result in a metabolism that burns away huge amounts of food, faster than the person can eat. And before anyone gets their “Oh, I wish I had that problem” hat on, think about it: always being hungry, needing to eat huge amounts to keep from feeling ill or passing out, spending larger and larger amounts of money just on food.

Why does this happen? Why is sizeism an acceptable prejudice? Maybe it has some connection to the “Cult of the Perfect,” the subconscious worship of beauty. Angelina Jolie wrote a book a few years ago, about her work among the poor children of Third World countries. The message of this book is good, but the writing is pretty pedestrian, and it is far from the only book on the topic. But, because of her celebrity, built largely on her looks, the book was a best seller. It is great, or would be if people actually read the book. I fear many people just bought the book because it was by her than for actual social/cause awareness. Sally Struthers has been doing much the same work for decades, but the most common reaction to her is to make a fat joke.

The point of all this is, you simply cannot tell what is going on by looking at the outside. The basis for all prejudice is ignorance, and that applies to sizeism as well. Unless you are that person’s doctor, with a complete medical history in front of you, it is impossible for you to make any judgment about a person based on their body. And even if you do have that information, passing judgments about someone as a person based on their body-type is no different than passing judgment based on race, ethnicity, gender, sex, or any other physical attribute.

This isn’t about attractiveness; everyone has, and is allowed to have, their type. If someone is not your cup of tea, so be it. This is about making assumptions about a person, stereotyping them, based on their physical form.

And that is always wrong.

Well said.

Good article.

I think SG completely missed the point, however, with the picture they chose to go with this.

I agree. Nice.

Xoxo

+1

Great blog and well written. Thanks for sharing a piece of you that we can't see. You are gorgeous.

This was worth reading. Thanks.

I have a high metabolism, ride a bike nearly everywhere and my jobs have usually been physical jobs.
Eat between 3-4,000 calories a day.
6'5" and never gotten past 200 pounds.

thumbs up.

Well said; thanks.
It is interesting that the scale is sometimes defined by terms that don't match - it is thin vs. fat (not thick [well, in general, though thick is used by some and I like it, actually, but that's an aside]), skinny vs. overweight, etc. The larger size is always emphasizing the weight and the lesser size not the lack of it... we are predisposed by terminology to like the lesser and not the greater by using terms like this (I hope I explained this well enough).
People can be beautiful in whatever size, and some people are drawn to one size while others drawn to another size. We need to accept this and move on with our lives - so many more important problems to solve.

Indeed.

I really enjoyed this article. This is something I've struggled with, on both sides of the fence. I think that almost everyone is guilty of this in some form.

Well written and valid points all around.

Very well written article. It's definitely something I have lived with for most of my twenties into my thirties. I tend to hear the comments made by people about my weight when our at a restaurant mostly. It seems heavier people can't catch a break. I actually eat under 2k calories a day, have cut put all soft drinks not just soda. Stopped eating all fast food and while I don't excercise I am very mobile at my work.

I overheard my waitress one time at a restaurant talking about that "fat guy" she was waiting on(which was me as I was the only one in her section besides a mom and her kid) and how I ordered light but she could see it in my eyes I wanted to eat everything on the menu. So yeah, if we eat alot we are called fatty and mocked for being pigs, but if we each what we eat we get mocked for not eating in the piggish manner to which I guess heavier people are expected to eat.

Excellent article, very thought provoking.

Well put together arguement. As someone who struggles with weight (I had to lose 80 lbs to join the Army, and still struggle to keep it off, went from 305 to 191 currently), I understand and expeirenced the critizism and bias towards over-weight people. Although I do agree that odessity is a groing problem in the United States, I don't agree with the treatment receive about being over-weight. I've had friends ridiculed at the gym for being over-weight, and that almost made her stop going to the gym. Things need to change in our society.

This was a great article, and the fact that the skinny people were addressed in it was definitely good. I am a really thin guy and I have gotten hell for it all my life and continue to get hell for it on a regular basis. I have found some fantastic ways to help people understand that it's not exactly nice to call someone out about being thin, fat, black, white, blue, or green.

You are definitely correct in not judging based on appearance...isn't that like one of the first things we learn as kids!? Don't judge a book by it's cover!

I agree 100% Thank You for posting this.

I love this

From one "fat man" to another, what an amazing article.

Normally I rarely read the blog's here if im honest, but for some reason I decided to click this one and got caught instantly.

Well written, well thought out and with some points that people will never understand unless they try it.

Obesity can be in the genes, this is no longer speculation but a proven fact, of course this is no excuse to not try to loose weight, but it will make it much much harder, nearly impossible for some, depending on their lifestyle and their situation, not everyone can AFFORD to loose weight if they have a pre-disposition towards it.

This somewhat negates the "You can be born black, you can't be born fat" argument, but once again the millions of books and movies about loosing weight makes everyone think that "Everyone can do it with these simple 2 steps".

Last but not least, a thing most people forget is the reason why some people are fat, some eat because they are bored, some are lazy, some just don't care.......and some are depressed or sad and eat because it makes them feel better or forget.

No matter what the reason, a diet can be both a blessing or a curse, if the diet goes well the move can improve, energy can be restored and so on, but if it goes well it can drive people from being depressed into being suicidal.

I wish more people could read and understand the above article, but I fear that to truly grasp it's content you either have to experience it, or be a freeminded as.......well the people that would be found here in Suicidegirls often tend to be.

glad to see this.

I HATE how it it is considered a socially acceptable behaviour to make derogatory comments about a person's size. To make assumptions about someone's personality/ personal habits with only an outsiders narrow perspective to go by infuriates me, so, so much. This ignorance needs to be addressed, the topic needs to be brought up more often, so thanks for this blog!